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Wednesday, February 28
Dear VTwin Mama,
I just want to be me, a fun loving, motorcycle riding lady with no
responsibilities to anybody. Some people seem to be put off by that and it
hurts that they are judging me. – Gotta
Be Me in Mundelein
Dear Gotta Be Me,
Sister, you are getting your shorts all
knotted up over something that you have not divulged to Mama. And I am
definitely not clairvoyant There is nothing wrong with being you, but if
part of being you means that there is no compromise or middle ground with
friends and to-be-friends, then, yes, some people might be put out. If you
are saying, "that's the way I am," as an excuse for "that's
the way I want to be," then expect others to take exception. You
sound like a sassy VTwin Mama, but remember to use your heart a little bit
more than your head when called for. It doesn't weaken your position at
all, and shows real style and class.
–
Mama
Top
Tuesday, February 27
Dear VTwin Mama,
I really spit out some hateful words at my wife as she went roaring out of
the driveway on her motorcycle. Sure, she came back that evening, but now
we are not speaking and I don't know how to break the ice. Any ideas?
– Insert
Foot in Davenport
Dear Insert Foot,
The poet Pearl Strachan said, "Handle
them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs." And my
guess is that a huge bomb went off in your driveway, didn't it? The
solution to breaking the ice and getting communication flowing again is
two fold. One, think back what worked best in a similar, if not quite as
explosive, situation. Was it humor? Was it giving your wife some room to
breath? Or maybe you offered an olive branch of some sort.
Second, whatever it was you said, you'll need to really
think about what led up to the situation, how the nasty words formed in
your head, and then even worse, managed to get past your heart and out of
your mouth. Nobody is perfect, that's for sure, but if this keeps
happening, you won't be able to fix the crater in your driveway and all
the quotes in the world won't save your ass. Start thinking already.
–
Mama
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Monday, February 26
Dear VTwin Mama,
Do you think motorcycle guys really like women with their own bikes or
would most rather go out with someone who wants to be on the back of their
bike? – One
is a Lonely Number in Hartford
Dear One,
There are as many answers to that question as
there are people in the world. Some men and women want friends and mates
who are strong, independent and up for the challenge of the solo ride.
Others want someone who will shadow their every move and be content on the
back. Then there are the in-betweeners!
So silly sassy one, stop worrying about what the men
want and stick to following your heart and doing what you want! When you
project strength in your convictions, you'll attract the right type of
guy. Just remember to do it with class.
–
Mama
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Friday, February 23
Dear VTwin Mama,
When I try to talk to my boyfriend about all the time he spends riding and
how I think it's hurting us, he claims I'm over-analyzing everything. Why
does he say this? – Just
Thinking About Things in Las Vegas
Dear Just Thinking,
Because that's what some people say when they
are worried that you are actually reviewing your relationship and
putting time and effort into making it better. Let's face it, under close
scrutiny, any time someone says something and tacks on
"everything," it's pretty much a sign that they are not
interested in taking a closer look. Is this a
condition that only afflict men? Yes! Well, ok, no. Sometimes it just
feels like that.
And why aren't you out on the bike just as much? Has
something changed? You need to head back to the number relationship rule -
are you happy/content/this is good enough for me? Then act
accordingly.
Meanwhile, I'm going to examine "everything"
my dogs do and see if I should be taking it personally. –
Mama
Top
Wednesday, February 21
Dear VTwin Mama,
So, I'm with one guy but I can't stop looking at this other one that hangs
around. Should I hang on to one and see what other possibilities there
are? – Roaming Eyes in
Wahoo
Dear Roaming Eyes,
Good grief. Usually, the best time to find something is while you
have one. But this applies to jobs, not men. For whatever we fling at the
them, men are still people, and not to be completely trifled with.
Ok, call me a goody two shoes, but pretty much you
should end things with one guy before you go sniffing another one out.
Especially if you are sleeping with them. At least you have a pretty good
idea what you did with whom at what time.
Dang, it's not even a week past Valentine's Day and
everything is going topsy-turvy. What are you people in Wahoo
drinking? –
Mama
Top
Monday, February 19
Dear VTwin Mama,
Do you think everything in life worth having has to be difficult to
attain? There's this woman who really has my attention, but I can see it's
going to be a lot of work, and another one who hangs on every word I say.
Which way do I go? – Split
Path in Dover
Dear Split Path,
A lot of work? Is that what you think the human condition is all
about? What a dumb duck you are. Since when did imagination and creativity
become the bad guy? I wasn't aware that instantaneous gratification was
worth anybody's consideration.
And it most certainly should not be yours. The gal
hanging on every word must see something in you that fills a need in her
or she wouldn't be wasting her time. Why don't you try to find out what is
so interesting to her and show some interest back. The answer might
surprise you. And don't flatter yourself that one who requires effort
would even be remotely interested in you just because you see the
possibilities. I suggest you leave your fantasy world and join the rest of
us in reality. It's way cool.
–
Mama
Top
Wednesday, February 14
Dear VTwin Mama,
That loser of a husband of mine. I woke up this morning and nada, zip,
zero, big goose egg on the V-Day stuff. And I know he couldn't forget. How
can you with all the reminders? – Broken
Heart in Cheyenne
Dear Broken Heart,
That cad. Why I should come out to your place immediately and give
that man a good talking to. (Psst, you did plan something special for him,
didn't you?) If yes, then I'm on my way. If not, shame on you. So, tally
up the carnage, and either one of you, or both of you (which is Mama's suspicion)
needs to be reminded that meeting others halfway is the only way to go.
Got it?
Meanwhile, Mama's planning her after V-Day (50% off)
candy buying trip and suggests you do the same with hubby dearest to make
up for the loss on the 14th. Such creative things you can do with
chocolate covered cherries. FUN!
–
Mama
Top
Monday, February 12
Dear VTwin Mama,
With Valentine's Day coming up fast, I'm trying to figure what to get my
fabulous motorcycle mama. Any ideas? – Heart
and Soul in Long Island
Dear H&S,
Why, a VTwin Mama T-shirt (or two) and a lovely bandana!
Of course, given the fact that you've waited till the
last minute to get the perfect gift for that sassy, classy gal of yours,
these simply wouldn't make it on time. Somehow, I'm thinking she'll be
wondering if you remembered at all! So, in the meanwhile, I always think
the best gift is one that SHE wants, rather than one YOU want to give.
Think hard now - what is the number one thing she wishes she had a) more
of, b) less of, or c) or at least one of , and do it (or get it or get rid
of it). Yup, it's that simple.
–
Mama
Top
Thursday, February 8
Dear VTwin Mama,
I have a Kawasaki Vulcan 800 Classic and am trying to locate a reasonable
waterproof saddlebag that does not detract from the bike's appearance.
Cost is not a factor. – BAM
somewhere in the space/time continuum of the Internet
Dear BAM,
Aren't we all trying to find that perfect match, damn the cost! Of
course ultimately, we have to work with what's placed before us, otherwise
we would never get anywhere. And that means compromise and sometimes sacrifice.
Still, while you are trying to "bloom where you're planted," it
might be helpful to check out all the gardens that are available to
you.
Oops, isn't it just like Mama to turn a perfectly good
request for product information into a discussion on relationships!
Readers, if you've got a good saddlebag solution for BAM, contact him at bamuthig@citlink.net.
If you would like to share your thoughts on relationships, you can always submit
a question. –
Mama
Top
Tuesday, February 6
Dear VTwin Mama,
My guy can't seem to keep his eyeballs focused on me. Every pair of pretty
legs seems to turn his head. So what do I do? – Here
I Am in Madison
Dear Here I Am,
It is my experience that the average man is more
interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman, any
woman, with beautiful legs. At least in the long run! What other symptoms
is he exhibiting? Wandering hands? Drooling? Obvious remarks meant to hurt
you? If none of these apply, he's just insensitive. In other words, a
male. If, on the other hand, things seem to be going from bad to worse,
it's time to take another look at your relationship and ask the famous Ann
Landers question, "Am I better off with him or without him."
That Ann is no dummy, so pay attention.
– Mama
Top
Friday, February 2
Dear VTwin Mama,
Riding my motorcycle is so much fun, but more and more I seem to be
neglecting other stuff that is really important, like keeping my house
fixed up. How do other riders handle all this fun and not let everything
else slide? – Going
Crazy in Salt Lake City
Dear Crazy,
Ah, the sad lament of having too much fun! This is
truly a dilemma, and a common one among people who are dedicated to their
lifestyles. What you are beginning to feel are the pangs of guilt over
your love of the ride. So now, not only is nothing getting done around the
house, but the guilt is creeping in. Yikes, this calls for fast action.
The fact is the future arrives one day at a time, so that you may plan,
prepare and adjust to it. What I find helpful is that I always get some
task done first thing in the morning so that at least I accomplished one
thing that day. The guilt subsides and the icky stuff gets tackled. So
grab that job jar and move it. The road is calling!
– Mama
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