Monday, January 13
Dear VTwin Mama,
Great site you got here! Just searching the web for riding facts and ran into
your site. I've learned that there's not that many web pages for female riders
to refer to but I'm 18 [turning 19 soon :) ] and I'm taking riding classes now
and my mine is set! I love riding already and I'm planning on getting a Honda
F4i sport bike, but everyone I know doesn't want me to ride. When I hear about
motorcycle accidents it scares me but I still haven't changed my mind yet. Is
there anything I should consider before I spend my whole life savings on this
bike? –
Kawni
Dear Kawni,
People in general tend to have strong opinions about motorcycle
riding of any sort -- and the naysayers seem to be especially loud! You
are on the right track -- you've got the desire, are taking classes to
learn correct riding techniques, and have done research to feel confident
of your choice of bike.
Yes, accidents happen, but that's life -- and accidents aren't solely reserved for riders. Ask your instructor for suggestions of local riding groups that you can join so that you are surrounded by experienced, positive-minded riders who can help you continue your "education." And don't try "expert" riding maneuvers until you've got the basics firmly under your belt. Nice and slow and you'll get there!
For those people in your life who continue to question your judgment, take the high road. Thank them for their concerned opinion, let them know the things you are doing to ensure your safety, and then put on your best smile and tell them the choices you make in your life are exactly that -- YOUR CHOICE.
Let's face it -- if we didn't do things that interested us because others said negative things -- we'd never get anywhere! – Mama
Dear VTwin Mama,
I have a question that I know does not have an easy answer. I would
however like to share my story and see if anyone has had a similar
experience and how they dealt with and overcame it. Bear with me, I know
this is a long story. In mid-September my husband and I had an unfortunate
crash. We were about 2 hours into a two day road trip when, out on a
country highway, an oncoming car made a left turn in front of us. My
husband was riding the inside lane several seconds ahead of me so I was
witness to the horror in it’s entirety. My husband struck the front of
the vehicle at 55-60 mph and, according to a deputy in back of the
offending vehicle, was ejected about 18-20 feet up and landed about 20
feet on the other side of the car. I had a chance to brake and due to
debris from the “explosion” of my husband’s bike on impact I had no
where to veer to without striking something and flipping off the bike so I
struck the car too, but at a much slower speed. I barely remember getting
off my bike, dropping my helmet to the ground, growling at the driver to
“call f***ing 911 NOW!” who held out his hands saying something I
couldn’t hear.
On impact I suddenly knew I broke my hand but forgot it upon reaching my husband. He was alive and regaining consciousness. At that point training took over, I am a medic. He was on his right side and I cradled his head in my arm while holding his belt loop with my other to stabilize his spine in case of injury. I told myself that it was going to be a long time before the ambulance got there. It always feels like forever. There were cops and first responders there in minutes. The ambulance was right behind them. They were all wonderful! I can’t remember faces but I will never forget their care. And that was before they knew my husband is a cop too. After the ambulance ride to a local ER then a helicopter ride to a better equipped hospital, two weeks in and out of the Trauma and Life Support unit, 14 hours of surgery for reconstructive surgery on his hip and wrist and skin grafts for places
Despite the rocky ride of the past several months we miss our bikes terribly. Beautiful days have gone by and we ogle the few brave souls out on their bikes in 30 degree weather in the sunshine. We occasionally discuss riding again and at first we are gung ho and can’t wait for him to heal so we can hit the roads again. After a few minutes reality creeps back in and we realize how lucky we are to be alive. We continue to read motorcycle publications and have picked out our future bikes already but I hate to admit that we’re both really scared this might happen again. We realize anything can happen at anytime. It could happen in a car or at work or it could just be a massive heart attack. You never know. Even if we do get back out there I’m afraid of what I saw. I can still see the crash happening like it was yesterday; I don’t even have to close my eyes. Mercifully he has amnesia to the entire event. His memory is of hitting an invisible wall then “waking up” in the ambulance.
Just a couple more notes of this incident. The driver of the car was on his cell phone. Our lawyer has been great. Our vehicle and health insurance companies have been wonderful and prompt with payments. My family, who live out of state, has been incredibly supportive; my parents made the 8 hour drive the day of, my Mom stayed with me until my husband was discharged home from the rehab unit. My sister lost her job because she chose to stay with me for two weeks after the crash and help me move to a new apartment.
My husband belongs to a motorcycle club called the Blue Knights who are active and retired police officers. The Blue Knights held a fundraiser for us for medical expenses not covered by insurance. They have also been incredibly supportive of us throughout the entire ordeal. And one last thing. We love to ride without helmets. It was supposed to rain on the second day of our trip and we just happened to be wearing them when the crash occurred. There was considerable damage done to the front of his helmet and had he not been wearing it he may have survived the crash but as a squash or maybe an eggplant. I am not a religious person - and I still am not - but I feel damn lucky. Friends and coworkers say we should leave well enough alone and not ever ride again. My family was here for me throughout and steadfast. How could I ever put them through that again?
I’m not looking for a definitive answer. There isn’t one. I’m asking for opinions and experiences of all who read your website. Has anyone had an experience like this? How did you deal with it? How did you manage to get back out on the road again. The bikes were so much a part of our life and we miss them terribly. There was an article in the last issue of Woman Rider magazine. It was a short and well written article but only dealt with a few women in somewhat similar situations and had a narrow viewpoint. I don’t think I need a shrink. Just some advice from any Mamas out there with experience from which to speak. Thank you for taking the time to share my story. I appreciate your time. – Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you so much
for taking the time to share your story with me. Your unfortunate accident
was followed by a series of truly miraculous events, from your choice of
helmets that day, to the swift accident support by yourself and the
responding cops and medics, to the continuing support of your family.
I can appreciate that sometimes you want so much to ride again and on the other hand realize that you're alive and maybe shouldn't tempt fate again. I myself have only experienced near miss accidents that could have turned out horribly wrong, but by some stoke of luck (and maybe a good guardian angel), didn't.
I can see that a shrink isn't necessarily your choice for helping you to resolve your dual thoughts (to ride or not to ride again). I checked on the Internet for support groups, but really couldn't find anything. I'm certainly am NOT a qualified medical person, but I'm thinking your need to "talk it out" is evident, or you wouldn't have written in. Perhaps your doctor/hospital can recommend an "accident survivors group" -- not necessarily motorcycle accident survivors, but people who gone through the invisible wall and lived. For instance, if someone survived a horrible car accident, does that mean they'll never get behind the wheel of a car again? In this "safe" setting, you can both explore your dual thoughts, concerns about family members who are hoping you'll never ride again, etc. Please consider it. I know that my sister, who has battled illness for most of her adult life, finds it useful to talk with people experiencing the same disease, and share her feelings. Her husband is a great source of strength, but can't necessarily share all her thoughts because he simply isn't the one experiencing it.
I applaud your courage and strength through this all.
Readers, you should know that Jennifer and her husband live in south central Wisconsin, just outside of Madison. Her husband has been riding for about 10 years, and Jennifer started riding with him four years ago before riding her own bike for the last two. As always, any insights you can offer is greatly appreciated, and I'm willing to pass on your email address for anyone who would like to correspond directly with Jennifer to offer more in-depth support. – Mama
Wednesday, January 22
For Jennifer and her
husband re: their horrible motorcycle accident:
I feel deeply for you.
I wonder how much gear you were wearing at the time in addition to the helmets. Leathers are probably too hot for where you live but there is great tech gear available in light colours with vents for cooling and plenty of armour. Combine this with riding at cooler times of the day. Maybe the gear will give you the security that would help? Maybe you could also try advanced rider training that covers emergency steering and braking and how to overcome target fixation. Knowledge is power. You could also go along to a local club such as WIMA or Women on Wheels if you have those in the area. Good luck. – Judith Symonds, Lower Hutt, New Zealand (note from Mama: thanks for your insights -- every bit helps!)
Friday, January 24
Though I have dumped my bike a couple of times, I've never been in a real bad accident. I can't imagine the fear you are going through right now. I am though going to tell you that life is full of risks. If it isn't a motorcycle, it would be a car that you'd have an accident in next or maybe just going for a walk and a car or motorcycle hits you. When or if you get your new bikes, just take it slow. One day at a time. Though the accident was not you two's fault, take a experienced rider safety course to help you regain some of the confidence and love of riding that you once felt. Think positive thoughts and push the bad thoughts behind and good luck. – Foxee (note from Mama: taking, or retaking a course is a good idea -- allows accident victims to slowly take up riding again in a safe environment and assure themselves of their own skills, and even improve them. Thanks for your insight and general support.)
I also have been in a similar situation, however it was all my fault -- not paying attention while riding down the road -- ran into my Dad who was setting on the side of the road waiting -- at 55 miles per hour. I also do not remember most of the situation, God is Gracious. Well anyway, after 3 hours in the ER and coming out a literal scab for the most part, this was close to 25 or so years ago I was also riddled as to want I wanted to ride again. However I firmly believe that if I would have listened to them I would not have enjoyed my life as much as I have.
Today I am an instructor for the Motorcycle Safety Foundation, and being in Michigan, can only teach basically in Summer months. My suggestion is to take a MSF course -- get back on the bikes but in more of a controlled way and see if the fire for riding is still there. Plus, you will receive a lot of teaching and support from those in the classes. Many people take the course to get their courage back up after a crash. And some go back to riding, or decide not to ride anymore -- either way it takes the fear away sort of getting back on the horse thing. Any way, I am also a Pastor, so if you need to talk, feel free to email me directly. I pray this helps.– Pastor Freak (note from Mama: thank you for sharing a different kind of accident story -- and having the courage to tell it. I agree that taking, or retaking, a motorcycle course could ease the path into riding again with renewed confidence. I'll pass your email address on to Jennifer.)
Jennifer would greatly benefit from talking it out with Cindy Sandor. She too had a bad accident, but she managed to deal with it and now writes Cindy's Saddlebags for Biker Ally as well as hosts a TV show in the Tampa, Florida area called Lady Rider. At one time, she was going to use the $ from her accident to invest in a house. My husband told her she "can't ride a house." Within weeks she was back in the saddle again. It was not easy for her but with friends to support and encourage her, she made her come back. By the way, in this particular situation, what would the outcome have been had they been riding in a car? Hugs – Bootygrandma, aka Betty (note from Mama: I remember reading Cindy's account of her accident and subsequent journey back into riding -- I'll pass on Cindy's email address to Jennifer. Yes, had this been a car accident, would one never drive a car again? Still, motorcycle riding can be seen as "optional," yet a passion deep within our collective hearts -- but we're seeing by the responses that many people HAVE found their way back into riding -- and it's possible to do so with joy.)
Back in November of 1994 My fiancée was out riding to pick up my son's birthday present. I had unexpectedly gotten call in to work for a few hours, and while I was there I got the phone call no one ever wants to get. Jeff had been in a motorcycle accident. Someone in a minivan ran a stop sign and he didn't have enough time to stop. He hit the side of the van and flew about 30 feet after going through the windshield of the bike, then into the windshield of the van and through the air. We live in New York and we have a helmet law, but he only wears a beanie style helmet, which flew off his head. He miraculously had minor injuries stitches, road rash bumps and bruises etc, His bike was totaled and he really suffered post traumatic stress especially when he saw some one in an intersection coming from the right. Any way, his dad was visiting us with his bike a year later and Jeff finally mustered the courage to try riding again. He went around the block and came back told me to grab my helmet and off we went for about a 2 hour ride. After that he bought a new bike and we are now riding again like we used to. So keep your chin up and give it a try and I bet you two will in time get back to riding. If you want to correspond further, please feel free. – Viki (note from Mama: boy, can I relate to the "mental" trigger point of fear -- anything resembling where I once had an accident still to this day sets me off a tad -- but I continue to work through the fear point -- 'cause I just love riding way too much. So this shows us that it's normal to feel this way and takes time to divide and conquer the fear point. Thanks for sharing this about Jeff and I'll pass on your email address to Jennifer.)
I so happy you and your husband are going to be ok. I know the emotional trauma is very hard to deal with. I have only been riding for about a year and a half and I have dumped my bike about 5 times now . Life is always a risk no matter what you do each day. You and your hubby could possibly start out riding very short distances to see if you can deal with the trauma you went through. I know outside influences like family will have a lot to do with your decision. God does work in his way and he felt this was not your time to go to be with him. When you read stories of people that battle with cancer every day and all the other illness that happen, I truly believe God does watch over us. If you miss riding and choose to ride again I feel you will be a lot more aware of what is going on around you and may go on to enjoy what you have loved to do for so long, Just ease back into riding -- maybe start out with one bike and ride together for a while to see if its what you want to do again. Good luck in all you decide to do and get well soon – Cathy (note from Mama: you are so right -- there are lots of tragedies that happen to people every day and by sharing with each other we come to understand that we are not alone -- I think that's key to moving on with life -- yes, wonderful, glorious, and often times, messy life -- and why Jennifer reached out to us. They need to move on and find ways to do that. Riding together in the beginning, if they decide to get on a bike again, is a valid point.)
Obviously, the end result could've been even more tragic than it was. You and your husband were definitely very lucky.
I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but since you're both still interested in riding, have you considered trikes? If nothing else, you'd get the satisfaction of riding with increased visibility on the road. It seems that you are concerned with the feelings of your family (and rightly so after the help and support you were given), so would it make them feel better if you rode trikes? Or, maybe they would prefer you never ride at all.
I've only been riding about 1 1/2 years and have never had anything like that happen, but I'm aware that it could. I wonder sometimes if my love for riding is enough to overcome any feelings I might have if I witnessed my husband being hit by a car and being injured myself. I hope I never find out.
But, I would imagine the trauma of that accident will fade over time and you'll gradually miss riding more and more. I do think if you decide not to ride anymore solely because your family would prefer that you not, you might resent it. But, good luck to both of you in whatever you decide. – Linda (note from Mama: good point -- they need to decide for themselves, not based on other people's fear points. The trike suggestion offers another idea not mentioned before.)
Two and a half years ago…I too crashed, spent days in the hospital and still pack all the stainless, screws and wire used to rebuild my left lower leg and foot. All the questions you asked are all the same ones I dealt with while going through months of recovery. Like you, I “see” the crash all the time, remember every detail and have come to terms that I will for the rest of days.
What’s vivid in my mind about it, was that AS I was crashing, tumbling, crunching, I remember thinking “I hope the bike isn’t hurt so bad I can’t ride it home”. I KNEW I’d be back riding. My family already knew that I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do, whether they think it’s crazy or not. My dear gray haired mother had finally stopped bitchin’ at me about riding and when I’d said to her “you’ve accepted that I will” she replied, “no, I just know that all the bitchin’ in the world isn’t going to stop you from doing what you want to do”. (She is the one that taught me to ride, back in the early 60’s when I was 7years old, she crashed about 1970, totaled her bike and never rode again) My guess is that your family knows these things about you too. Motorcycles aren’t a week-end hobby for most of us. They are part of who we are. To give it up is too much like cutting a chunk of heart out of yourself then try to go on living. If you’re not absolutely positive that you NEVER want to get on a bike again, period!! You will ride again.
Ok… so with that settled -- what to expect when you do ride again.
From my own experience, don’t expect to climb on your next bike and head out with the same amount of confidence you had before the accident. My advice would be to act as if you’re a newbie all over again. Not because you don’t have the physical skills, but because your brain is gonna be screaming at you all the fear that’s been planted there. You won’t NEED family and friends telling you that you’re crazy for getting back on. Your own head will be telling you that all the while. The first time after my accident that I rode, I got a quarter mile down the road and my chest froze. I couldn’t breath and it felt like my heart stopped. I was gripped with fear. I forced breath into my lungs and told myself “come on girl… you know how to do this” And I rode on. I found for the next year I would be just riding along, everything would be fine and I suddenly, out of nowhere have the chest freeze thing happen. Each time having to take mental control and force myself to breathe and talk myself through it. I even stopped once and gave myself a real talking to about it.
It’s been a long two and a half years. But I’m back, I still have residuals but they are few and far between, . I wasn’t going to quit but I did need to take heed of some of the lessons my “near miss” gave to me.
Wear the gear. EVERY TIME. Things happen fast. Amazingly so. The day of my crash, it was 85 degrees, I stuffed my leathers into my saddlebags because it was so hot and I was only going 5 miles home. The denim vest and jeans I had on were torn to shreds when I hit the road. The chin piece of my full face helmet was scraped flat where I hit the road face first at 50 mph. That would have been my face. I put on the gear every time because I’m still picking asphalt and gravel out of my forearms and palms of my hands. It’s risk acceptance on your part. How much are you willing to take. I’m willing to ride, but I’m not willing to leave anymore of my skin all over the pavement again.
I wish you peace in your brain while you undertake the challenge of getting back in the wind. I’ve never regretted getting back on. – HammerLady (note from Mama: wow, your courage and fortitude in the face of all you went through is a great testament to your inner strength and character. I'm in awe. Thank you for detailing your exact thoughts on climbing back on and the fact that it still takes courage on certain days. I consider that an important point. I'll let Jennifer know your email address -- readers, HammerLady runs an excellent forum at www.shinnysideup.com.)
Sorry to hear of your terrible ordeal. I am so glad that you and your husband are okay. I have never been in an accident on my bike but I know how difficult it must be to get back on. Many years ago, I was involved in a car accident. Nothing real serious, but I would not be driving today if it had not been for a well meaning friend. I refused to drive after the accident and he made me drive. He explained that if I didn't face my fear at that time, that I never would. Of course there is a big difference between our experiences, but it may help to keep this in mind when making that decision. Like you, biking has become the biggest part of my life. My husband and I ride all the time. I've put a little over 10,000 miles on my bike in 6 1/2 months. I can not imagine not riding. Getting through the winter is bad enough. Hang in there. When the time comes, I'm sure that you'll be able to make the right choice. – Janet (note from Mama: yes, and the right choice is which ever way they decide to go -- neither is wrong.)
This happens to be the first time I have ever visited this site and I happened upon your story. First and foremost, I am terribly sorry about you and your husband's accident. I myself had an accident in 96' and it shook me to my very core. I don't know what kind of bikes ya'll ride and it doesn't really matter, an accident is still an accident. I ride a sport bike and was nearly run over by a dump truck traveling on my side of the road. I had 2 choices, the ditch or the truck. I chose the ditch and ended up covered in road rash and a blown out knee, nowhere near the injuries the 2 of you sustained.
However, it frightened me badly and I could not seem to get past it. I bought another bike within a month of my accident, but every time I rode it I was paralyzed with fear! I would have overwhelming feelings of anxiety and almost a feeling of a flashback to the accident. I would come home and cry because I felt like I lost my best friend and something I enjoyed doing more than anything in my life. I sold my bike and did not buy another one for almost 2 years. I began to ride on back with my husband, but I was still afraid.
To make a long story short, we ended up in a situation where I had to ride a bike home for a friend because he was too ill to ride. At first I was afraid, but my husband assured me that I could do it. He told me to lead and to pick the speed, at first I was so scared, but after 45 minutes or so, I started to enjoy it and I have been riding ever since. The thing is that you have to take it slow, don't push yourself. At first you will be afraid and you should just let those emotions flow in you, don't try to fight them or deny them, know that it is okay to be afraid. I also took a motorcycle course, I don't know if you have ever done anything like that, but those people will help you tremendously with encouragement and experience. Most riders have gone down at some point and understand what you are going thru, but I want to encourage you not to give up, because you know how much you enjoyed it before and I promise you that you can recapture that feeling. Take care and good luck! – Jody (note from Mama: thank you soooo much for sharing your own personal story of overcoming your fear of ever riding again. It just goes to show that it may take quite some time, but it is possible to regain the joy. And everyone's timeline on "mental" recovery is going to be different -- so let it happen naturally, on your terms.)
I live in Northeast Wisconsin and used to live in Madison. I am very very glad to know you both are 'ok' after that accident and getting the help you need.
I have been very fortunate in seven years of riding to not have had a major accident, although I have come pretty close... unlike some of my friends. I lost one good friend a little over two years ago... and it was a pretty ugly accident. He died from head trauma, which was probably much better than him surviving without one third of his brain and in a coma. He was a great person and it was heartbreaking to me.
I almost gave up riding after that. I sold my bike and moved up north (for a job). Then I got the riding bug really really bad. There are miles and miles of great roads to ride on up here (almost) six months out of the year.
So, I decided I will 'do it right' if I continue at all. I have put my 'image' and my 'pride' on the shelf. I truly do not care what other 'bikers' think. I always wear jeans, boots, leathers and a full face helmet regardless of the weather. I have a very light weight leather jacket I wear in the summer. I do not push myself past my limits. This spring I am taking an advanced motorcycle safety course on my own bike (a 2002 Buell M2L).
I know Blue Knights and other clubs offer first responder courses for motorcycle accidents, but it sounds like you know much more than a class like that can offer. That is a great asset you both have !
For a long time I had to say a prayer before I even got on my bike. I rarely ride extensively at night (too many deer up here) and I do not get on the bike if I am really tired. Just a few things that I do to feel safer.
Needless to say you and your husband probably had done everything 'right' in a safe sense and still had someone else's error or stupidity cause the accident. That will shake you to the core... and it can take some time and work to regain your confidence.
I guess all I can say is -- be very, very, very patient with yourself. ALWAYS wear the best safety equipment. And start back really slowly at first. If it has to start on the track or on back roads so be it. I think one of the reasons I am still here is that I rarely push myself to my limits... which can be tough when others are doing reckless things.
Anyhow, just my humble thoughts. Sorry you both had to go through this... but I say keep on riding if it is what truly makes your heart sing ! – Charlotte up North in Wisconsin (note from Mama: good point on having the patience to work through this at their own comfort level -- don't rush something that simply is going to take some time to figure out.)
I just read Jennifer's letter and it almost brought me to tears. It certainly sounds as though both she and her husband; not to mention their families, have gone through Hell and back. "Back" being the operative word here in this case.
I can't honestly say that I've been in a bad bike wreck, but I've ditched my bike on a ramp coming off of the Trans Canada Highway here in Nova Scotia, Canada one time. I'm not sure what happened to this very day. It was as though my mind went hazy and I had lost control of what I was able to do over my body. I ended up going off of the ramp toward a very deep ditch. I was lucky enough to have gotten the bike stopped fully, although the front tire went over the edge. I saw my whole life flash before my eyes and all I could do was scream out my husband's name, "Donnie". The only thing he saw after hearing my scream was the disappearance of my headlights. He pulled over and ran back to where I was.
To this very day, I don't know how I got off of the bike. It was as though somebody stood me up as the bike went over the edge. As I recall, I "walked" off of the bike. Donnie came back screaming, "Are you all right??? Oh my f*#k, you wrote the bike off!" I told him not to talk that way and that the bike was surely ok. A kind passer-by stopped to help us pull the bike out of the place where it went, saying that I was very lucky as the area is very unforgiving.
The bike was fine although I had a few pieces of grass mixed with gravel in strange places and I had bent my light bar and smashed my windshield rather badly. My gear had stayed intact on the bike where it was strapped down as well. The strange part about all of this is what had saved the bike from being heavily damaged. We had placed an 8-can pack of beer in the saddle bag on the side of the bike that had been to the ground when we had stopped at a liquor store while en route. The beer saved my bike and not one can got broken.
We had both hopped back on our bikes after Donnie gave mine a quick inspection (he's a mechanic so he knows what to look for) and we headed for Tim Hortons, which was less than a kilometer away (1/2 mile) to gather all of our wits. I even had a cigarette to help sooth my nerves, but had no coffee as the place was so busy.
After about 20 mins, we were back on the highway, heading toward our desired destination on Cape Breton Island. I had no choice as to whether or no to hop back on the bike or not as we were so far from home and we had no family or friends anyplace nearby. I feel that this was the best thing that I could do for myself, otherwise, I may not have gotten back on the bike at all. Sometimes in order to get the closure you need, you have to pick up where you left off.
I wrote off my car back in 1996 and walked away from that as well. In fact, four of us walked away and ended up walking the 3 kilometers back to the house. My car was hit during a legal pass ( I was passing him and he turned left into me; pushing my car off of the road and into the ditch. We were lucky the car didn't roll over as the ditch was deep and filled with water) The driver of the other car was stoned on dope and claims he neither saw my car or heard my horn when I pulled out to pass. He couldn't see my car because of his condition due to the dope and the smoke coming from spilled oil all over his engine and he couldn't hear the horn as his car had no exhaust system on it. I imagine the dope had something to do with that as well.
The next morning, I hopped behind the wheel of a friend's car and drove for half the day until my body began to ache due to whiplash setting in. I had my friend take me to the hospital on the way home. My whole body was spasming in pain and I was off work for almost a month.
Again, I believe that the best thing you and your husband could do for yourselves is to hop back on motorcycles, even if you just go out and test drive or borrow some from friends to see how it feels before investing in something that you may never use again. Try it out. You say that you both miss the bikes, so take it upon yourself to try them out again. I did, and I'm glad I did. My bike is my biggest source of stress release. I don't know what I'd do without it. I know that you will do what's best for you, but you have to make the choice for yourselves: don't let other people influence your decision, family or otherwise. All of the best to you and your husband. – Lisa Fraser ("Froggie") (note from Mama: good idea about borrowing bikes to see how it "feels" to be back on them again before committing to buying new ones. Thank you so much for sharing your own story -- I think that we often feel alone when in fact we are not.)
Please be careful. I just lost my friend last week because a driver made a U-turn without looking. Now I have one less friend and one less rider. You must have eyes in the back and side and top of your head or you're dead! People don't look or care when they drive -- 1/2 of them don't even see you. Even though my friend had a new bike with the headlight on at 3:00 in the afternoon, the idiot pulled out from a parking space without even looking to see if anyone was coming and now because of this dummy someone else has paid for his mistake the hard way. You never know when someone else is going to pull out or make a right turn from the left lane. Until you get some riding under your belt drive slow and alert. Yours truly and may the wind be always at your back and keep the shinny side up. Good luck. – Old Biker Man (note from Mama: and on that general note of wise advice for all of us, we conclude today's posting to Jennifer. Let's all be careful out there -- we are all to precious to lose.)
Monday, January 27
Dear VTwin Mama,
I was not able to sleep, so I decided to check and see what was new on
V-Twin Mama. WOW......the responses
to Jennifer were absolutely wonderful. Now you have material for
another facet of your web site......A place where gals can read about
challenges others have endured and how they managed to recuperate from
them. Your web site is becoming more and more valuable to all of us
Mamas!
I think I told you a while back about how I hit my house head on (while I was still in the learning mode...) and then a year ago June I hit sand and gravel in a turn and broadsided a van. OHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSS it is scary! My husband was really upset since he saw both those incidents first hand, but I was determined that I was going to ride again. In fact, after hitting the van, I went and sat on my bike off and on until the trailer got there to take it home for me. (It was a total, all front end damage). That was my way of getting back on the horse since I knew it would be a while before I could replace it.
You may have started this site as an advice column so to speak.....but it has blossomed into much more than that! You are truly a blessing to us all. Thank you for your insight as well as your devotion to women riders. Hugs – Bootygrandma (aka Betty)
Dear Betty,
Yes, I agree -- one of the most valuable aspects of this particular
site is that women can share their experiences, not only in the form of
questions, but then in response to things they read. I hadn't thought
about it after posting Jennifer's story -- but I see now that it would be
useful to segment accident survival information into it's own section,
instead of burying it in the Viewpoints section.. Check
it out! Thanks for getting my own mental juices flowing on that one
and for re-sharing your own story about courage in riding the beastie
again. –
Mama
Tuesday, January 28
First I'm glad you both are ok. I've been involved in a couple motorcycle accidents. The first in July of 1999, we owned a 1981 Goldwing -- I was the passenger. I ended up with a broken ankle, my fiancée ended up with stitches, and the bike was totaled. It could have been a lot worse -- the news crew that had reported on our accident had reported that my fiancée had died from his injuries. That had family and friends freaking out.
The second accident happened in June of 2000, we were on another Goldwing. We were doing our dream trip of see all 48 states on the bike. We got through 9 states and 8,000 miles of the trip when the accident happened. This time my husband was injured with road rash on his left arm and left leg. I only got quarter size road rashes on each knee and a bruised left arm. The bike again was totaled. The one good thing that came out of the accident is that we meet a very nice Doctor and his wife. The ER doctor offered us a place to stay at his house while we found out about the bike and what we were going to do. It turned out the doctor was also a biker. He owned two Harleys. He had been in so many wrecks on his bikes that he became a doctor.
After the accident neither one of us felt like ever riding again. At home sat my Nighthawk that I had bought a year ago to ride, but never got the courage to ride it. Now after the second accident it was really looking like I would just sell the bike when we got back home. During the trip back home we ended up deciding that I would take the MSF course and learn to ride my Nighthawk and my husband would get a small bike and we would ride that way. It took about six months for my husband to heal enough to ride again. I took the MSF course in March of 2001. In May of that year I did my first trip and have been riding my own since. I still don't feel ready to ride at night, both accidents took place at night. So, I say just give it time. For my husband our accident in 2000 was his 5th one. After his 3rd he had been off a motorcycle until he meet me. Don't rush yourself to get back on, but if you still want to ride then take it one step at a time. Good luck with which ever choice you make. – Wolfspirit (note from Mama: thank you for sharing your own story of courage and conviction -- you certainly have endured a lot, but you are a voice of reason and clarity.)
Wednesday, January 29
Dear VTwin Mama,
I wanted to take a minute to thank you and everyone who responded with
their insight regarding my husband's and
my accident. I encouraged my husband (who is also a subscriber to your
newsletter) to read the messages too. We found them all to be very helpful
and plan to try many of the suggestions made. Thank you to all who wrote
in sharing your own stories, insight and support; it means so very much!
I also wanted to respond to a recent posting from Biker Vic regarding drivers and cell phone usage. My husband has been doing quite a bit of on-line research and found a site created by the parents of a 3 year old who died as a result of injuries sustained in a crash caused by a driver on a cell phone. The site is http://www.morganlee.org/ and has links to many places with information. Good luck with your research too. I used to be a chronic cell phone user while driving and this experience has opened my eyes to how dangerous it really is. Now I pull over and park when I need to make a call. Hopefully more states will outlaw this practice and make the roads safer for all of us. – Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
We're glad the VTwin Mama sisters rallied on your behalf to offer
support, their own stories, and useful viewpoints on riding again after
such a terrible accident. And thank you as well for sharing this site on
cell phone usage by drivers. Every bit helps -- as you have come to find
out. –
Mama
Friday, January 31
I read your story, and I want to encourage you and your husband to ride again! I also want to point out, as did others, that there were definitely miraculous events that took place at that time, from the fact that you "just happened" to wear helmets that day, to the crews responding as quickly as they did, and everything else that "fell into place". You say you're not a religious person; I am, and I know exactly Who protected you both.
I was in a motorcycle accident two and a half years ago. I was on my way to a Women-on-Wheels rally in Dayton, Ohio, with four other women. About 70 miles out of Dayton, on a country road, I took my eyes off the road for a couple seconds. When I turned back, there was a pick-up truck stopped right in front of me, waiting to make a left turn. I didn't feel I had enough room to swerve, so I braked quickly, to about 50 mph, and dropped my bike to avoid hitting the truck. The bike and I slid, and then I rolled away. The bike went under the truck, and I rolled away. The first thing I did when I stopped rolling was to pray, and my girlfriend prayed over me, too. An ambulance ride and a helicopter ride later, I was in a Dayton hospital. Here I was - I had just totaled my 2-month-old motorcycle, I was 800 miles from home and my husband, and I had two broken shoulder blades, a broken collarbone, and two broken legs.
Even with all that, I was so very thankful. My injuries could have been so much worse! I had no head, neck, back, pelvic, or internal injuries! In addition, I was in no pain and needed no pain medication the entire time (another miracle!). I knew God was protecting me. An Orthopedic Surgeon told me they were going to have to cast both of my legs. I asked him how I was supposed to get around, to which he replied, "In a wheelchair." When he left the room, I started praying. I told God that if He wanted me at that rally, I needed to be mobile I did not want to be totally dependent upon others. About an hour later, the doctor came back and told me that since the broken bones weren't weight bearing, they decided not to put casts on them. So it was a direct answer to prayer that I was able to walk out of that hospital the next day with nothing more than a sling to immobilize my collarbone.
When I left the hospital, I headed straight to the rally. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was with me. Eight weeks later (and a bit too soon, according to my Orthopedic Surgeon), I was back riding. It took the rest of the season, about 3,000 miles, for me to get comfortable again, but I did, and I've been riding ever since. It's the old saying - "get back on the horse after you fall off."
I would love to talk to you further, if you'd like. VTwin Mama will pass on my e-mail address to you. – Susan (note from Mama: you're a courageous VTwin Mama and I applaud your spirit, your beliefs and the time you took to share your own story. Thank you!)
Dear VTwin Mama,
I was wondering if there was a way to combat hand/ wrist/ forearm cramping/
numbing. Is there an exercise you can do in the off season? I read the handlebar
article and am going to see if new bars won't help some too. Thanks for your
time. –
Dawn
Dear Dawn,
There's no doubt about it -- keeping your arms out for extended amounts
of time can pose a challenge! I find that the right wrist, being the throttle
hand, is especially susceptible to this because it has to stay
"cocked" in order to keep the gas on (!), so while you're
investigating the possibility of changing out your handlebar for more overall
comfort, look into adding a throttle rocker (like
this one) or a throttle lock (like
this one) -- and your local dealer will surely have these types of
products on hand.
I find that overall arm strength can add to your ease, so I lift small free weights every other day to tone my arms, adding strength to my shoulders and arms. It really does work -- I'm less fatigued on long rides. I also find that by doing sit-ups on a regular basis that my body is also less tired -- strong stomach muscles support the back which also helps. You can find affordable free weights in your local Wal-Mart's sporting goods section in packages with different pounds and complete instructions so you can gradually work your way into it. 15 minutes every other day makes a difference -- try it! – Mama
Thursday, January 9
For Dawn whose wrists are cramping up:
I always try to keep my hands/arms relaxed during a ride. It's easy to get that "death grip" on the handlebars when you're in heavy traffic, bad weather etc. I try to consciously relax my grip during long rides as well as wiggle my fingers. I know this sounds kind of weird, but I've found that if I keep my upper body relaxed, I don't get nearly as tired. Meanwhile, that Throttle Rocker will help a lot to keep your right hand/arm loose. Best of luck! – Jan (note from Mama: ah yes, it's so easy to get the death grip without even realizing it. Thanks for mentioning it!)