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2001 Dear VTwin Mama, Kudos for taking a motorcycle course. While the bikes there are much smaller, the learning principles are the same: practice, practice, practice. Also, stay out of situations that would prove too much for your abilities at this time (heavy traffic, harsh weather conditions, etc.) Winning that bike sounds like it triggered a series of responses in your husband's head and they are all coming out as "concern." These negative messages can KO even the strongest willed woman as we have seen in this forum before. However, the point is about you, not him. I have a couple of suggestions and I'm sure the VTwin Mama sisters will have more. Number one, consider finding a motorcycle course that you can now take with your actual bike! That way you reinforce your lessons, but this time on the bigger one, learning how this particular bike handles in all of those situations that you learned about. Number two, consider finding other riders who are also at the start of their learning curve so that you riding with people who are more compatible with your current skills. That doesn't mean find 10 and ride in heavy traffic (!), but one or two to practice with. Number three, find out if you have a local Women on Wheels organization -- they've got tons of women who are sympathetic to your needs and can help (in a positive way). In these ways, you might get the hubby off your back by taking positive steps for yourself! We don't want you to get frustrated and quit. Check some of the links in the Archive Section of VTwin Mama for more women's sites and other points of interest -- you can give yourself a leg up by reading how other women (and men) have gotten through tough situations. Also, take a look at the next letter for a couple of magazines for women riders. Good luck and stay tuned to VTwin Mama, where participation in the forum brings the greatest results! Mama Friday, October 26 Dear VTwin Mama, I know exactly how you feel. My first bike was a Harley Softail Deuce - Fuel Injected. When I had new pipes installed, the dealership also put on a breather kit, which made it even faster. I bought the bike before I even took the safety course & I had never ridden a bike before (good thing I passed!). My husband also was concerned, but he also thought it was the coolest thing in the world - that my bike was faster than his and all his buddies (he has a Harley Heritage). He said he couldn't wait until I blew them all away on the road one day! The thing about a powerful bike is, it's only fast if you want it to be. You can ease the clutch out as slow as you like & you can turn the throttle as little as you like also. The weight was the hardest thing for me to get used to, since I only weigh 110 lbs. Sharp turns were also lots of fun at first, especially since I dumped it 3 times in my driveway trying to cut it too sharp going in the garage. I seriously considered carpeting the driveway! But, the good thing is, I learned a lot as far as what I can and cannot do and have racked up 5K miles since May. Just recently, one of my girlfriends took the safety course & went out and bought herself a Titan as her first bike. Her husband, who rides a Harley Ultra, says she and I are the two baddest bitches in the county. So you go girl! Gail Congratulations!! What a dream come true! The "practice, practice , practice" theory is about the best advice you will ever get! Trust in yourself, be confident (not overconfident), and don't think too much. I have found that if I just let my brain drive the bike, she does just fine. We have the tools and we really do know how to use them! I believe that the more you ride, the better you get, the better you get, lessens the "nervousness and concern" from the "partner" , then they start to get that "puffed-up-chest" thing and they are very proud of us and our accomplishments! Enjoy!!! a VTwin Mama sister Wednesday, October 31 Dear VTwin Mama, I'm 49 years old, barely 5' tall and weigh about 108 lbs. I've only had my MC license for a little over a year. I took the MSF course and highly recommend it to everyone. I live in New England, which means the riding season isn't that long. I started out with a Suzuki Savage 650, which I practiced on while I had my permit, and rode for a short time after I got my license (for a total of about 5 months). I traded it in for a 1996 Yamaha Virago 1100, which I've since put 7,000 miles on. I chose the Virago because it was relatively light and I could touch the ground with both feet! I've been told by many that the Virago is a little top-heavy. Has
anyone else heard or experienced the top-heavy feel of the Virago? If I
would trade it in, I would like to get a Yamaha V-Star (I've been told it
has a lower center of gravity) but I'm not sure if I can handle the
additional weight (500 lbs for the Virago versus 600 lbs for the V-Star).
I still have a little anxiety when stopping on hills and in slow tight
turns with my current bike, so I'm not sure if I could handle a heavier
bike. Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful. Thanks again for the
support and encouragement you give us all. New
Rider in New England I agree that riding a bike that you can't pick up could potentially be a huge problem. If you haven't seen the Newsletter Links page yet, go on over. There is a wonderful German site (in English) that shows a woman picking up her bike while wearing a mini shirt and high heels! Picture by picture you learn a technique that you might like. As for your anxiety, the only cure is practice and plenty of it. Still, even after 22 years of riding I still try to thoughtfully anticipate upcoming traffic, parking, turnaround and rough road conditions to place myself in the best position to do the least amount of work and save myself from messy situations. I'm such a wuss! Check the Riding Techniques Archive for more input on different things that can happen and how to save your butt! And now we'll see what other input women have for you. Glad to have you aboard! Mama Thursday, February 21 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Chriss, Well, you've taken some good steps already. Now it's a matter of practice and time on the road. There simply is no substitution! I remember the traffic jitters myself, none to fondly mind you, and given that you are in Montana, I have to imagine you've got plenty of wide open spaces. Get there to practice! Or, practice in your neighborhood when the traffic is really low, like on Sunday mornings! Or find a big empty Kmart parking lot (that's what I did). The point being that part of jitters in traffic is that you probably have not yet completely and subconsciously mastered control of your throttle, clutch and brake coordination. You're probably trying hard to make sure you've got the bike under control and the added pressure of other vehicles is . . . well . . . tough! We understand. Now go practice. And then, here's the biggest clue of all: practice, practice, practice! Meanwhile, go to the links section on this website where you will find all sorts of good stuff to help get yourself further educated and connected. There's women's riding organizations, like Women on Wheels, to connect with other women in your area, chat groups and a few magazines and e-zines. Glad to have you aboard and don't be afraid to ask more questions and share your own insights as you gather them. That's what we're all about! Mama Dear VTwin Mama, Husband decided to teach me one day, with him on back, on the dirt/sand/gravel roads out here where we live. Unfortunately, I didn't have much experience, and didn't have a clue about when to brake in gravel, turn in gravel, and many other things. Got about 2.5 miles down the road, went to make a turn at a very slow rate of speed in the dirt and gravel, bike slipped out from under us sideways, and I tried to use my left leg to hold up bike, and I felt too very loud and excruciating "pops" in my leg. Still hurts after 5 weeks now, but no insurance, so toughing it out. Got back on in my field and didn't dump, but was scared senseless because of weight. Took the ABATE (motorcycle safety course). Bikes were very small (250cc), still was scared stiff because of accident, but weight was way less scary. Passed the class, got my license. Now have nothing to ride that I feel safe on. Only street bike we have is the "monster" Shadow, and two dirt bikes that also weigh way to much for me to feel comfortable do anything on. (Do ride the dirt bikes, but still scared because of weight.) Mama, this has been my dream for over a decade, and now I feel it has been somewhat spoiled by a man pushing me to do something that I wasn't ready for and was not safe for me to be doing, and now I have a phobia I need to overcome. I don't have any women friends who ride. That's part of the reason I want to do this, is to find female friends that like the same lifestyle and have a similar personality as me. What type of bike do you suggest I get? I think I need something definitely with less weight, but that I won't get bored with too quickly. I am pretty cash poor right now, and financing is not an option. I am 5'7" tall and weigh about 175lb. I'm strong, but I'm 40 now and not as strong as I used to be. I have 36" inseam legs, but I like a low riding bike. I just want to have fun, realize my dream of independence in riding, meet some new friends, and go lots of places on my bike, and feel the wind in my face again. Really want to ride to Sturgis on my own bike this year. That's my goal. Can you help? Sadie McNasty (aka Stacie) Dear Sadie, It's unfortunate that your hubby was on the back of the bike at that first session, 'cause quite frankly, only a very experienced person should ever have anyone on the back, but I know that his heart was in the right place. You're already taking some very good first steps by taking a riding course -- kudos to you! And as you and I have discussed, you've made contact with some of the women's riding groups to get in touch with women in your area for the moral support that will make a BIG difference in your overall adventure experience. Now it's up to you to shake off that poo-poo beginning and not let that big ol' bike get the better of you. With your height and strength, it should not prove to be the limitation -- basically practice and more of it will be the key to your success. But not on gravel and dirt! I myself putted over to an empty parking lot for practice to get my first practical time in, learning how the bike handled. Or, if you live in a busy area, your side street on an empty Sunday morning will do. Stop, start, 1st to 2nd gear, stop, start, wide turns, learning the characteristics of both the front and back brakes, with good protective gear on! Baby steps first Sadie! Then, check out the Archive section, Type of Bike to Ride, for clues on what bikes women prefer, if you're really set on getting a different model. Worth exploring. As for the Sturgis run, well, as I mentioned in my personal correspondence with you, I think it's doable, but you've got a lot on your plate to make that monumental of a ride. You mentioned that you've been there before so you know what I'm talking about. Definitely you need to get that beginning practice in first, then some local traffic practice and then some runs with people in your area for practice riding with a group. You've got three months before the Sturgis rally, so get cracking. And don't be afraid to say, "You know what -- the Sturgis rally might be too much for me this year as a solo rider," -- and mean it. As my hero Ann Landers always says, people can only take advantage of you if you let them. She's a wise old bird, so pay attention to this. As to hubby dearest -- you set the pace. He might be experienced, but he can't read your mind or your comfort level -- so you let HIM know. Any man who supports his wife's attempt to go solo is a keeper, but your mind will be more at ease if you speak up and say what you need to say. You go girl! We're behind you 100 percent. Mama Monday, June 10 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Melissa, First, so if it ever happens again and there is no one around to help you pick it up, check the two links in the Links Archive that show you exact techniques to pick that old thing up again (hint, one is at a BMW site at http://ibmwr.org/otech/pickup.html and the other is at Motorradfahrerinnen, a German site but the instructions and pictures are in English at http://rover.mainz.netsurf.de/~uschla/bikefrauen.html. That way, you've mastered the weight by learning where the strong points on the bike are and how to use your body with the least amount of struggle -- you don't need a lot of weight or muscle for these techniques. You might even want to lay the bike down on a nice old sturdy rug (with the help of a friend) and practice. Master this and you'll never be afraid again! Second, and I've done this myself, at a dead stop with the bike turned off, and the front wheel pointing forward, lean the bike just a little bit to each side slowly to feel the weight of the bike and determine your best footing (feet planted a little bit forward, or directly to the side, or maybe even a little bit back) that allows you to control the lean. Just a little lean at first, then a little bit more. Talk to the bike as you do it (!) -- "so that's how your weight feels, that's not so bad." Again, the point is to face your fear and learn your limitations and strengths. By knowing these, you'll be better prepared for an unexpected lean in a slow turn or trying to maneuver it from a parking spot, etc. Then try this technique with the front wheel cocked slightly to each side and lean just a little again. Practice, practice, practice. If this whole things scares you a bit, have a friend stand straddled over the front wheel holding the center of the handlebars to aid you at first. Third, you didn't take that motorcycle course with this particular bike. Perhaps it's a good idea to take the course again, but this time with the beasty (or should I say, "nice bike, nice bike") if possible. Gain more confidence with the guidance of instructors who can work with you on specific techniques you are looking to master. And last, but not least, consider working with some free weights and simple arm strengthening exercises. This will tone up your muscles and provide a mental boost as well. You've got what it takes Melissa and we're behind you 100%. So get cracking and make that bike your friend. You can do it! Mama Wednesday, August 21 Dear VTwin Mama, So... at the age of 50, having never even sat on a motorcycle, I took the MSF course. It was the most stressful weekend of my life but I passed! I started out on a Yamaha V-Star 650 and a year (and 5,000 miles) later traded "Blackie" in on "Cream Puff", a V-Star 1100 Classic. I've ridden about 11,000 miles now and on Saturday (Aug. 17) my husband and I are heading out for a 3,500 mile trip from Redding, CA to South Dakota. (We waited until the Sturgis madness was over!) This will be my longest trip and I'm a little nervous because I've never ridden in the rain but I'm determined to act as if I know what I'm doing! I'll let you all know how it goes when we return. Anyway... you beginners just keep practicing. The nerves and the fear get a little less every time you get out there and it feels sooo good to look back and see how far you've come! Susan Dear Susan, Dear VTwin Mama, One is I am scheduled to take the Motorcycle Safety Course starting the 5th. of September and two -- we are supposed to go to the Delmarva Bike Week in Ocean City, Maryland the second week in September. I will now tell ya about our accident. We went to my Brother-In-Law's funeral Saturday morning (17th) and that evening we need to go for a ride to clear the cob webs out, so we went and had some dinner, on the way home we were run into from behind by a 1 Ton Stake Body Trick (I think that is correct term for it). It ran into the back of us, thank God we had our trailer behind us or it would have been ten times worse. We were coming to a stop at a light, my Ole Man had just started to put his feet down when the truck ran into the back of us, thank God the light turned green right as it was happening or we would have been made into a sandwich, as it was the cars in front of us pulled off so that was prevented. The truck pushed up the road about 4 to 5 feet and it landed on top of our trailer, our poor beautiful trailer! Well, it used to be beautiful! But I sustained injury to my back, I had already had problems with my back, bulges at the L5S1 level so this is not good for me. Besides the extra pain caused by this and a numbness and tingling going down my leg the main problem is I am afraid to get back on the bike right now, I have waited years, especially the last 3 to get into this course! What the hell do I do? Any suggestions would really be appreciated! Genie aka HrlyLady Dear Genie, As to getting over accidents -- well, in my experience, you really never get over them. You get pissed of about it, on with it, through with it, learn from it, and talk about it -- but never over it. It boils down to how much riding means to you that will determine if and when you get on a bike again, passenger or solo. There is no rule of thumb. It's in your heart and you know deep down inside what you really feel -- that's the key. So listen to yourself and above all, don't lie to yourself. You'll never be happy with your choice if you lie to yourself, no matter what that choice is. Remember, when one door shuts, others open -- and even if you temporarily shut this one, it doesn't mean you can't open it up again later. So chin up -- we're behind you 100%. Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved. Not sure who said that, but I try to remember that all the time. Mama Tuesday, September 10 Dear VTwin Mama, My boyfriend and I went to Canada last week on our bikes, 400 miles each way. It was the most awesome, wonderful trip of my life. I will remember it forever. So thanks to all of you for the words of wisdom and guidance. Debbie Dear Debbie, Tuesday, September 10 Dear VTwin Mama, I have to agree with you, Mama, Genie should delay the class. Having just taken it course a couple of months ago, the strain-stress-fatigue are all clear in my mind. It takes a lot out of you - it takes a lot of concentration - it is not a vacation - it is hard work. If you are in pain, that is definitely NOT the time to attend. Wait till you are healed, continue back seat riding when you can to help you over your fear. You will know when the day is right, and that day will come, and then take the course. You'll be a better rider for your experience! Keep the faith. Donna aka FrogBiker (note from Mama: sage advice) Friday, November 22 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Anxious, Meanwhile, review the manual for your bike (and if you don't have one, get one) and learn all the controls by heart so that you're that much farther ahead when you actually get out for your first practice. And remember, sometimes excitement of doing a new thing masks itself partially in fear of that new thing -- so visualize a good first ride (instead of everything that MIGHT go wrong) -- then use that positive mental image and learning to go, go, go! I know you can do it -- but make sure that you are flat footed when seated so that you can handle it all -- that's a HUGE key to the whole thing. We're behind you 100% (and are visualizing everything positive for you also)! Did you think that I created a General Jitters section in my Archives for nothing?!?!?!?! Mama Dear VTwin Mama, I went down a road that is posted at 50 mph a little ways, then off to the country. I was so nervous that I wasnt downshifting, so I would try to take off at the stop lights in second gear and the bike would die! I would start it up and take off again. I figured Paul was a nervous wreck watching me act like a fool but he kept telling me I did fine! He rode behind me and said screw everyone else behind us, they can wait until we get going. That was a big relief! It was so comforting seeing him in my mirrors! I hope next time I go I wont be as nervous and I think I will be able to do better! I just didnt know if I would be able to get my speed up. I did okay with that but like I said was scared to death. Paul said that the next time we go riding we would cruse around the neighborhood until I get comfortable with that, then we would hit the traffic. I was just wondering if anyone else has had an experience like this. It seems like (hearing everyone else talk) most people are just naturals and take to riding like a fish to the water. I don't want to give up because I am determined but goodness, I felt like a freak out there! Ha, ha. A freak without a brain. I had forgotten everything I learned in the MSF class until I turned the corner to turn into my driveway. I was very discouraged but like I said, really want to try riding! PLEASE let me know if anyone has ever had such a wonderful ride......the whole ride only lasted about 30 miles. I don't think I would have been able to do much more! Ha, ha. I either have to laugh or cry. Elda B. in Norman Dear Elda, Natural riders my backside. Sure, lots of folks started riding when they were just wee ones, but like a lot of women riders, we didn't start until later in life. Granted, I'm sure that some people master riding a motorcycle quicker than others, and some are better riders over the long haul of it all, but they all have one thing in common -- it simply takes time to become a skillful rider. We've all either dumped one, put one in the ditch, and generally scared ourselves at some point (make that many points), but how are you going to learn if you don't get out there! You are blessed with a loving and non-judgmental husband. You are also blessed with a real desire to ride. So, like your hubby suggested, get some riding time in areas that pose as little dangers as possible, stick to first and second gear to get the hang of shifting and stopping, and before you know it, you'll be ready to tackle a little bit more. Take your time -- you've got a lifetime to ride -- and the road will be there when you're ready. I'm laughing and crying with you, and so is every other VTwin Mama sister who reads this. So get cracking and send a picture of you on your bike! You are SO not alone! Mama Monday, December 23 For Elda who is having some general jitters after a less than perfect ride: You go girl!!! Don't be fooled -- everyone is a little scared when they climb on their bikes for the first time and many after that. A few bikes ago I purchased a shiny new Honda Shadow 450 or something (many bikes ago). I hadn't ridden in a few years but it's just like "riding a bike." Well I hopped on, popped the clutch and ran down several and over one brand new Gold Wing. I wanted to crawl in a hole. Riding around your neighborhood is a great way to get accustomed to your bike, you'll be in familiar areas where you know all the curves etc. I swallowed my pride and have been riding since that awful day. Since then I have moved on to a Harley Lowrider and just purchased a beautiful Indian Spirit Deluxe. The safest riders always have a little fear in the back of their minds. You'll be comfortable in no time, enjoy riding and thank your husband for being a sensible, loving riding partner. Rubber down, shinny side up. Connie W. in Virginia Beach, VA (note from Mama: I came close to creating the same calamity you described! It's true -- we all find our faith in riding tested at one point or another -- but that is part of the learning process. Kudos to you Connie for finding faith within yourself to continue, despite the mishap. It happens, and by sharing this you have shown Elda that she is NOT alone!) I have been riding for a year now. Started on a 250 Nighthawk and now I have a 750 Shadow Ace. I have scared myself a number of times and have scared my husband more. When he rides behind me then I don't have to worry about the cars in the rear same as you. I've dump the 750 twice. The first time was the first ride I went on, rode 200 miles that day. Had a great ride was within walking distance to my house. I took a turn to wide and clipped the curb. The other time I was following another bike he went a little wide on a curve and got into wet leaves. He had the experience to correct. I didn't, I guess. It makes you frustrated, but I have learned from my mistakes. I think it just takes time to be a good rider. Stick with it -- this was my first summer riding and I went to more places than I thought I would the first year. Also every so often I go to empty parking lots and go over the exercises I learned at the MSF course. Ride within your limits. I have had horrible riding days where I was so nervous then the next time out was more relaxed. Thank god for patient husbands. Practice Practice Practice Be Safe! Linda (note from Mama: yes, it does take time, and mistakes are bound to happen. You've got to put forth the effort to work through the learning curve, and every good rider discovers that because they kept trying and eventually succeeded. Thanks for sharing your own trials and tribulations.) Friday, December 27 For Elda who is just getting the hang of shifting and riding: You sound just like me when I started out. I went to the MSF course and FAILED by 2 points. I was riding a Honda 250 Nighthawk and I had such a problem getting into first gear. I either let out the clutch too fast or didn't give it gas and I would constantly stall. One time I got stuck on a hill at a red light and couldn't get going. It took 3 red lights and a lot of honking horns before I made it to the other side! Thankfully I have 2 great friends who were teaching me to ride and they were very patient! Even after I managed to get my license I always managed to stall at least once during a ride. But with practice and a brandy new Yamaha VStar650 Silverado I have overcome my clutch problems and enjoy riding. Practice Practice Practice! JoAnne M. from Dumont, NJ (note from Mama: and then practice some more! After 20 years or so, you'll still need to practice -- it just won't seem so obvious!) |
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