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Jitters Home
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2003 Dear VTwin Mama, I am doing much better but still have some problems with tight turns and occasionally I don't stop well- I have been going out on the rural roads some but the cagers fly pass me on double lines because I am 5 mi under speed limit. I like the little bike but it does not have enough power for the hills here and I need a better handling maybe less raked bike with at least 750 cc- I am 5-3 1/2 and wide in the legs and hips- what do you recommend me trying? I do not like the fact that you can't ride the bikes you try- how can you tell if you can balance and steer it? Thanks a bunch Joan Dear Joan, Rural roads are notorious for speeders, so if possible, practice your shifting and speed control on regular roads during light traffic times -- Sunday mornings are usually the best! If that parking lot is big enough -- you could go there as well. Dropping a bigger bike seems to a rite of passage (!) so don't be too discouraged by your initial outing with the Savage 650. If your height and girth don't allow you to sit on that bike with your feet flat on the ground when the bike is at a dead stop and centered underneath you, you'll need to have that bike lowered with a lowering kit, or consider shaving the seat or choosing a new one that is narrower to get your thighs more comfortably around it. Trust me on this -- if you can't sit flat-footed on the bike, you'll never feel in control of it -- no matter what the gear ratio is or how the front end is raked out. That's the key! So even if you can't test ride something, checking your footing, comfort of arm reach and leg reach to the controls, and such, can be done just by sitting on the bike. Explore these suggestions for your bigger bike with your local dealer, and then when you're totally comfortable with the smaller bike, do the same parking lot suggestions with the bigger bike. If necessary, have someone ride that beastie to the safe practice zone. You're on the right track Joan -- you've only been at it for a few months, so don't beat yourself up too much about not being an expert rider yet -- it does take time. "Natural" looking riders started from scratch just like you are and I can guarantee that they had a learning curve just like you do. So take it nice and easy and reward yourself for small techniques accomplished. For added emotional support, consider contacting and joining one of many excellent woman riding groups (see the links at the bottom of the home page). You might find a mentor, coach, or just a friend so you don't feel alone in your quest to ride better. They've all "been there and done that" -- and it does make a difference to know that you're not the only one experiencing these beginning riding challenges. At 64 you've already braved the first test -- getting out there and trying, so I know you've got what it takes! Every VTwin Mama sister looks forward to seeing you on the road and giving you our best biker wave! Mama Tuesday, January 7 My second bike was a 1996 Suzuki Savage (650). I loved it. First off -- I am a whopping 5' tall and in my mid-latter 50's. The Suzuki is one of the best bikes for taking tight corners. It is light enough to feel comfortable (not bulky)....yet powerful to keep up with the big boys such as my husband's Valkyrie. Please don't give up on the Suzuki...it sounds like the problem is not the bike....but really in your skill level. With your determination and effort, you will be doing great in no time. SO YOU GO GIRL! ...Hugs Bootygrandma (aka Betty) That 250 Rebel should be plenty powerful for you to ride back roads and their hills. Because of the bike's small cc's you need to down shift and give it more gas (twist that throttle). That is what makes riding smaller bikes hard as the weight is better but the power is less; a real trade off. I know it is hard for a beginner but with a small bike you need to be more aggressive with the throttle to master the hills. The Savage is a good beginner bike also but as you found out it is heavier. Mama had a good idea with the cones or boxes to practice corners but I know it gets boring after a while so you want to see different scenery. Check out your county map and look for smaller roads than back roads or try riding the back roads during the weekdays rather than weekends if you can. Cheryl From Joan herself: I have looked for a group and there are none in the Southern end of Va and none I can find in North Carolina. I wish I could find someone to ride with between Roanoke, VA and Bristol, TN. Thanks for all the suggestions. I am trying most of them. I haven't put the cones out. I had a MC mechanic check my Savage and he said I can't reach the handlebars well and also it doesn't run in low gear well- it is geared to high speed driving. He has suggested changing the belt or something to make it run better in lower gear. He had trouble riding and turning it in low speeds too. Joan Note from Mama: thanks Betty and Joan for your own personal insights. Joan -- even if there is no local riding group, many of the women may belong to the closest women's riding groups available and still be riding in your actual area. Also try posting your message searching for women in your area by visiting the ShinnySideUp chat forum or the Ride My Own site. Changing the gear ration on the Savage sounds a bit extreme unless you're totally committed to riding this bike. Changing the handlebars is doable and you can read up more about this by reading a previous posting and following the links to see how to define what you need to make it work for you. I checked the MotorcycleEvents.com site for bike shows and there are several this winter in VA and TN. Go to this site, click on the Events Calendar link, then type in the state abbreviations and you'll get a listing. Although you might need to travel a bit to get to them, I'm thinking you would benefit by seeing a wider range of bikes all in one place so that you can better define what bike you want after you've got more time in with the Rebel and how the Savage stacks up against them. Mama Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Michele, Sound silly?! Of course it does, but it works. Imagining a good outcome of anything helps it be a good thing! Imagining coordinated hand and foot movement is a positive thing. Then, when it's time, get your bike to a smooth, open area with no traffic interference so you can practice your coordinated starts, stops and shifts. Review the clothing that you are wearing and make sure you're well protected so that if something goofy does happen, you're padded for it! You might also considering getting a service manual or having your hubby help you to learn more about the bike itself -- in other words, how to take care of the maintenance (chain, plugs, oil, filters, tires, etc.). The more you are "hands on" with your bike, the more you'll know about that bike -- and the "mystery" of it will vanish. The power of knowledge you will gain will go a long way to helping you master and conquer your fears. I would also suggest that you read up more on good riding techniques. Check out my Books/Mag section for suggestions -- many can be ordered online at the various online bookstores. Proficient Motorcycling is the number one recommended book by readers at this site. We applaud your courage in your new adventure and just know that you'll do it -- you've got the desire -- and will learn the skills needed to be a great rider over time. Slow and easy does it! Mama Thursday, January 16 For Michele and her general jitters: I have a suggestion for Michele, for after practicing in a traffic-free area in the Spring. When I started taking my first rides in traffic last month, it was really helpful to me to "preview" my route in my car ahead of time. There is a lot of construction going on in my immediate area, especially on the quieter streets (which I wanted to ride). By driving my route in the car first, I was able to pick out potholes, construction equipment, blind intersections, and other potential danger zones. This reduced the number of "surprises" I encountered on my rides, letting me concentrate more on new and mobile hazards. Obviously, you still need to be 100% alert, but reducing the surprise element helped me to feel more confident in my first rides in traffic. Marina (note from Mama: a very useful suggestion that helps build overall confidence in handling another step of the learning process!) Dear VTwin Mama, The first day of my course was so shaky and VERY discouraging. I've never been very coordinated to begin with and catching on the physical sports have always been a challenge - but I was determined to keep going. I had borrowed my friends gloves and they were one size too big on me.. so I thought that was the problem and blamed it on them. Needless to say, I was the slowest learner in the group of five. Now, the second day... within the first half-hour - I drove the bike into a ditch. How utterly embarrassing... it took all my effort to not burst into tears. The instructor pulled me aside and told me that he was going to suggest one-on-one lessons with the school for me and then sent me home. Good idea but it didn't help me feel better. I dunno VTwin Mama... am I not meant to ride? I have to passion and I truly want to - but was it not meant to be? The motorcyclist that could -- or couldn't?? Dear Could/Could Not, But I'll make you feel better! Congratulations -- you managed to put a bike in the ditch within two days of riding -- something we ALL have done, just some sooner than later! You think I'm kidding?!?!?!?! I'm not! There isn't a single rider out there who hasn't managed to bump, dump or get a lump somewhere down the road of their riding experience. Now, what you are going to do about it? Cry if you want (I've certainly done that on many occasions when I goofed or near-goofed in front of people) but then wipe the tears away and take your instructor's advice. You've got a burning desire and have already self-proclaimed your tendency towards lack of coordination, so find a one-on-one instructor and go learn! Learn what you can really do, what you can really handle and what you can really achieve. THEN decide if you're meant to ride or not. But don't give up because you experienced an oopsie right off the starting block. That's just not reason enough to give up in my book. Not if you really want to ride. If you want confirmation that you're not crazy for wanting to try some more, than you've got it -- NOW GO DO IT! Mama Dear VTwin Mama, First off, there are no classes in my area. So I depend fully on my wonderful and supportive hubbie to learn from. I have done pretty well; earned a license the first time and to celebrate I took my first ride (outside of my neighborhood) around Daytona Bike Week. Not too shabby, I got back in one piece! But what I just can't get over is: how do I trust myself WHEN a car pulls out in front of me? And how does one practice? I have a Harley Sportster, and have only put 50 miles on her. Every time I look at her I feel absolute fear instead of joy. Nothing has happened to me to make me feel like I need to just sell it, but I have nightmares about not being able to handle myself when that happens. When I first arrived in Daytona I was thrilled! I was so proud of myself to be able to handle this! But it turned out that the entire time I was there riding around I couldn't enjoy myself because I was so frightened of someone pulling out in front of me. Something just clicked in my brain. So the last few days I just tied up my bike and rode on back of my hubbie's. Needless to say he is a little upset since we did dump quite a bit of $ in our bikes, but as much as I want to ride alone, I just can't stop fearing the worst. I was so embarrassed and I didn't have an explanation of why I felt that way. I look at all the pics on your website of all the great women who ride their own and wonder what is wrong with me. Why can't I have the confidence they have in riding my own? VTwin Mama, besides watching out for traffic and possible idiots that might hurt me, can you please tell me what the joy in actually riding is? Can you please tell me if someone like me with so many doubts in herself should turn in her keys or or is it just a matter of practicing until she feels a little better in herself? I have no female friends to talk to about this and the hubbie would like to know soon so we can trade in our 2 bikes for one big bike that he can ride me around on. I feel like any which way I go I am not going to be happy and I just don't know what to do. But then I look at the pics of me on the beach on my bike in Daytona I feel so proud of myself. I just don't know what to do. Has anyone else felt this way? Please help me with my jitters! Chicken Dear Chicken (with GREAT
potential), Your excitement at riding (well justified) and your hubby's enthusiasm for you riding your own bike (totally cool) have now met head-on with the reality that it DOES take a bit of time to fully appreciate the complexities of riding. They can be overcome. You mentioned that there are no schools in your area -- so what I would do are two things immediately: 1) get Motorman's Ride Like a Pro video (about $30) that shows you in detail how to correctly maneuver a bike and deal with the possibilities of obstacles and common hazards and 2) get a copy of the Proficient Motorcycling book (about $18 at Amazon bookstore, the link is right below) which talks about these things as well. The reason I suggest both is that some people learn better reading about things, while others do better seeing how its done, but both are highly recommended by the readers at this site. With both these sources in hand, you have a good shot at educating yourself on the principles of riding. Make a point to read and view these with your husband. Then, get yourself to an empty lot on Sunday mornings and begin practicing the techniques with your husband watching (that's why he should share your learning experience so you can intelligently discuss how its going). Do this until you have gained some confidence in the basics, then slowly acclimate yourself to traffic, etc. There is NOTHING wrong with you! I sincerely feel you just took on a little too much right off the bat, so gear down a notch and you'll find the joy, not only in mastering the fundamentals, but then being able to enjoy the open road with confidence. There's nothing nicer than riding along on a beautiful day with the sun shinning overhead, the smell of Mother Earth in your nose, the wind at your face, and your knees in the breeze (as we say) -- without a nasty ol' car windshield to hamper the experience. It's a thing of beauty, so I say, give it a shot. Thousands and thousands of women riders simply can't be wrong! Mama Thursday, March 27 For Could/Couldn't who bombed her first riding course and wonders if she's meant to ride: I just wanted to let her know that I took the MSF Safety Course and had no experience riding a motorcycle and never drove a stick (you got it, a real VIRGIN!) I was a nervous wreck most of the time and they told me several times, relax, the only reason you will fail is because you are nervous. Well, I failed, I was so ashamed and when I got home I got on a motorcycle and tried all the things they taught me in class. It was in April that I failed and I signed up to take the safety course a 2nd time and PASSED. What I know now today is the people stress the importance of the safety course and I feel really lucky that I did not have time to form bad habits. I heard it said when the shit hits the fan, you rely on instinct (old habits). I am very grateful that I took the class twice because I learned that stuff real well and I know that because I got on my bike after a LONG northeast winter and I went to my instinct, and it felt great, especially when I went to turn, my head turned and looked in the direction I was going without any thought!! Making sure the driver sees me before I pass through I feel great!!! Angela Kosar (note from Mama: when we don't achieve our goals the first time -- that doesn't mean we failed -- we simply learned we had more to learn! And you smart VTwin Mama sister proved it to yourself!) Thursday, March 27 For Chicken who has the new rider jitters (there's tons of support here!): I am so glad to hear someone else as scared as I am. I am fortunate that we have the MSF course available in our area and I took the class last August. The problem is that I live in Southern Wisconsin so cold weather comes pretty fast. I was unable to ride my Sportster 1200 at all last year, so coming into Spring my feelings are bitter sweet. I am excited that riding season is coming and I have my own bike this year, but on the flip side I am afraid to get out there and ride. A lot of my friends (mostly men) are telling me just to hop on and ride, I don't think I have the confidence for that. I recently signed up for another MSF course to start in May, I know it won't take away my traffic jitters, but I think it will help me get more comfortable with my swerves and handling. My husband agrees that if I feel uncomfortable it sure wouldn't hurt to take the course again. And about taking the bike to Daytona, I think that would scare me too. My husband and I have already talked about me riding my own bike to the 100th Anniversary in Milwaukee. Even though I think it would be great to ride my own bike, I think I will it would be to my best interest to ride on the back of my husband's bike. Too many people, too many crazy riders and too much opportunity for accidents and my feeling is that I am too inexperienced to put myself and the people I am riding with in that situation. Sue Phillips in WI (note from Mama: way to gauge and stick by your gut feelings on all of this -- that shows true VTwin Mama smarts!) I just read your latest newsletter and can totally relate to "Chickens" story and feeling fear when just looking at her bike. She's fortunate having an understanding husband and also someone to go riding with. I, on the other hand, recently purchased a new Harley and feel jitters every time I start my bike up and go for a ride around my neighborhood. I only have 70 miles on it and been sticking close to home and avoiding traffic like the plague. This is the first street bike I owned. Growing up, I rode dirt bikes, but when I took the beginner rider and street skills course this past summer and received the road test waiver, I hadn't ridden a bike in 20 years! I keep hoping these nerves of mine will subside and in time gain confidence in my riding abilities, I hope I'm able to find a riding partner as I think I'd have more nerve riding in traffic that way and gain time in the seat as well. It's tough because I absolutely love my bike! But I just wish I'd be able to enjoy it more and hope I can one day. Sincerely, Jeanine (note from Mama: thanks for letting Chicken know she's not alone, and having the courage to say so "outloud." So dearest Jeanine, it's time for you to consider all the VTwin Mamas out there as your "right" partner -- they've got a world of experience and understanding and can form the "right" mini support group -- so check out those links to the women's riding organizations and make contact as quickly as possible. There is no reason for you to sit home alone or get stuck cruising your little home area-- what will the neighbors think?!?!) DO NOT QUIT! You are doing great for only riding 50 miles. I'm up to just about 1000 miles and can guarantee you that you will become more comfortable as your mileage increases. One thing my husband did was get me out there with his friends. They put me ( and my little Virago 250) between their big bikes and kind of discouraged cars from getting too close to me. I felt very safe. We went on several day rides this way; stopping for lunch, stopping to see the views, etc. (anything to give me a bit of a break). The guys actually said they really had a good time because so often they simply speed their afternoons away when they all go by themselves. This way they got to slow down and enjoy the views, the conversation, etc. Now my husband and I can go by ourselves and I'm so much more confident. I'm still working on trusting myself to go on the freeways without anyone else with me, but I know that as my mileage increases that will come. So, hang in there and be patient with yourself. Gail (note from Mama: yup, practice is the key. And realizing that not everyone out there just rides perfect right off the bat -- that's a biggee!) Chicken and you are
not. It might be worth your while to find the nearest class and have a
weekend away from home. Get a motel room, take the classes and enjoy the
weekend. Stay an extra day to rest and contemplate the classes.
Check out bike shops. I have been riding with my husband a lot the past 4 years behind him. My husband got me a 1998 750 Honda Shadow ACE for my Christmas Present. Not that I wanted one, but he thought it would be nice to ride together. So..... being a mom with 4 teenage daughters, I also had a lot of fears. The first thing you gotta, I mean really gotta do...is be true to your self. Is this what you really, really, want to do with your husband? Ride beside him, or behind him. If he is really supportive of your wants, he will support you in your decision. There are those who like to ride in back and those who like to ride on their own. If the decision is to learn to ride on your own, then TAKE YOUR TIME!!! Practice, Practice, Practice till you are confident starting and stopping in neighborhoods first. Go slow in the beginning when learning. Just like when you learned to drive a car, I'm sure you didn't hit the interstate first and become an expert. Reaction time is important, and making the right decisions in a split second takes conditioning. My husband had me ride in front of him on my bike first. Making sure I shifted just right, clutched, gassed, mirrors were just right...the little stuff that is in fact not so little. Then we took short rides in the neighborhoods, (a lot of them.) Then longer ones in the country where little things can also go wrong. Swerving to miss road kill, rubber pieces, rocks,....etc. The more you ride and practice, the more confident you will become. There will always be the idiot who may cut in front of you on the road, or run a red light or any number of hazards that can possibly happen whether in a car or on a bike, but practice, conditioning, and confidence in yourself will give you the feeling of being in control and then the joy of riding will take over. When you stop worrying what can happen and enjoy what your doing, everything will fall into place. Good Luck! Shawna (note from Mama: gosh, this advice sounds so . . . smart! And brings home the point of doing what's really, truly in your own heart, not what others wish for you.) I have been riding about 2 years now, but I also had the horrible jitters. I did take the MSF course which really was wonderful but the one thing that gave me the most confidence was a daily ride through familiar territory (about 25 miles) all by myself. I work from home so on my lunch break I would hop on by bike, go to the post office, bank and take a trip through town. Each time I rode I got used to the terrain, intersections, etc and each time I experimented more with curves, speed, stopping and starting. Then I reversed the course. Without the pressure of another rider watching me and judging my riding (my hubbie was great but that feel was still there) I have reached a great comfort zone. I sold my car and go about everywhere on my bike. The first time I went to have a mammogram on my bike I felt very strange. And wait until you see the looks and remarks when you go to the grocery store on your bike. I have had goofy men say to me 3 to 4 times, "I hope you have saddle bags to carry that stuff". Also, add something just for you to your bike. I added floor boards for one thing because my legs are very very short. I love riding and I am miserable when I am out of town on business and cannot ride. Hang in there. If I can start riding at the age of 47, you definitely can. Feel free to email me at dhodge@ctc.net if you need to share other thoughts or concerns. Debbie (note from Mama: sound advice and thanks for adding your email should Chicken want to "talk" more! An added note for those who didn't catch the statistic in the last newsletter -- about 75,000 women took a course in 2001 -- WOW!) Petra (that's VTwin Mama's REAL name) is right...there are some great books and videos to give you the correct info and tips you need to gain confidence in riding!! Practice, Practice, Practice!!! The more you ride, the more confident you will be!! Think about every time you did something new and was nervous about it...rode your first big bicycle etc....the more you practiced...the more confident you became and after awhile...you didn't think twice about doing it because you were experienced!! It is good to have some fear....you must always (even in a car) watch out for the other drivers. There is nothing wrong with being conscientious!! Don't bite off more than you can chew....work your way up!! You were very brave to ride to Daytona during Bike Week....that took a lot of guts!! I just graduated to a "big" bike ...so I know the feeling that you are experiencing!! You are not alone! Experience is the key....the more you practice....the more you will feel confident in situations that need extra caution!! Good luck....one day you will look back and wonder what the fuss was about!! Your sister in the Wind, Cindy Farrar (note from Mama: that's a good point about learning to ride a bicycle -- most of us did, but we weren't great to start with, but the chance and choice to be "free" kept us at it. It just goes to show you . . .) I'm 2 years into riding my own now and I still can freak myself out if I think too much! I have to sometimes make myself just "not worry" and relaxxxxxxxx. Last weekend we went riding, my second time out this spring since last October when I put the bike up for winter. We came upon a bridge with a grate that I hate. I usually just let the bike glide over it at about 45 miles an hour. However, this time some idiot was stopped on it......standing at the side just looking over the edge!!! I had to come to a full stop on the edge of the grate and wait for him to get his stupid *** back in his van. It was a little shaky having to shift through the grate, but I made it. Little triumphs like that help, but I surely don't like them any better. Take a long breath. Remember to breath. Sometimes I will catch myself holding my breath and that means you are tense all over. Just breeeeaaattthhhh.........it's amazing how much that helps. Clears out the fear and the cobwebs! Tammy (note from Mama: small triumphs are good -- breathing is good too! Gadzooks, I still hate grated bridges and overpasses to this day, and I've been riding for 24 years!) I can totally sympathize with you. I starting riding last year after being a passenger for a year. I started out on a pretty big bike, a Yamaha 1100 Virago, then 6 months later graduated to a new Harley Low Rider. The joke was, that I would never make it out of my neighborhood!!! No one should rush you into a ride you are not confident you can do. I spent a couple months learning to maneuver my new bike and then hit the open road. I was a bundle of nerves going 55 mph. Part of the fear is simply respect of the bike and the speed. Every ride gives me more confidence in my ability to handle situations, but there is still a nervous joy every time I mount my bike. I am sure that feeling will pass in time. My hubby has ridden 35 years and forgets this feeling, but he is very patient with me. I went for my first night ride this past week and that too, is a new experience. I highly recommend the safety course if you can possible find one near you. It is only a weekend, and so well worth it. Keep riding at your own level and master the skills required at your own pace. Happy riding and hang in there! No Name (note from Mama: isn't it funny how someone else's exuberance can "push" us into things that might be a wee bit too much, but their enthusiasm carries us through! Finding your own learning curve speed is a very good point!) I'VE BEEN RIDING FOR THREE YEARS NOW AND I CAN STILL REMEMBER ( SOMETIMES STILL GET) THE JITTERS EVERY TIME I GOT ON MY BIKE. IT WAS SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT MADE EVEN HARDER BY RIDING A HARLEY "FAT BOY", BUT AFTER RIDING A FRIEND'S SPORTSTER, I REALIZED I HAD THE BEST BIKE FOR ME TO HANDLE. THE FAT BOY SITS LOWER TO THE GROUND AND I HAD A LOT MORE CONTROL, THE SPORTSTER SITS HIGHER AND IT JUST FELT LIKE I COULD TOPPLE OVER AT EACH STOP. I'M SURE TALLER GALS DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM BUT I'M SHORT ( 5' 3" ) AND THE LOWER THE BIKE SITS, THE BETTER. I ALSO WENT TO THE HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT WITH A FRIEND AND PRACTICED, PRACTICED, PRACTICED !! EVERYONE GETS SCARED, IT'S NORMAL, AND PART OF THAT BEING SCARED IS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, IT MAKES YOU PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT'S AROUND YOU AND WATCHING FOR SITUATIONS YOU NEED TO REACT TO IN A SPLIT SECOND. I WOULDN'T GIVE UP, THERE WERE DAYS I WAS SO SCARED TO GET IN TRAFFIC I COULD FEEL MYSELF HOLDING MY BREATHE, BUT THOSE DAYS GET FEWER AND FAR BETWEEN AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOUR ACTUALLY ENJOYING YOUR BIKE AND YOUR SORRY THE DAYS IS OVER AND YOU HAVE TO GO HOME !!! GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE NEW RIDERS AND HANG IN THERE...."IT'S WORTH IT" !! Mary (PhatBoyMomma) (note from Mama: yes, jitters alerts us that we have something to learn, but then anything worth learning always has an element of that!) More for Chicken who has the new rider jitters: Don't worry, I think everyone starts at least a little chicken. At first I wasn't even sure I wanted to ride, but I got sick of being pillion and so eventually I had a go. I was so scared of any speed in case I couldn't stop. But I rode my bike home from the shop 30km in a 50km zone and was overtaken by a bus! And I made it home. At first I was quite scared to get on my bike. But I only used to go where I knew exactly where I was going. I would go where I regularly drove the car around and I would plan out the route before I went so that there were no tricky or turns or hills or tight round-abouts to deal with. I had a sort of practice route that I would ride to my husband's work and then ride home with him when he knocked off from work. I also used to go to work in my car and then for my lunch break I would go home and get my bike and ride that to work so that I wouldn't have to ride the the rush hour traffic. It took several months, but gradually the fear was overtaken by absolute joy -- and dare I say -- lust. I found I could go increasingly more places and it didn't bother me. My advice would be you pick where and when you want to ride for the moment and for the other times, jump on the back. You'll find that you will enjoy having control of those handle bars before long. Judith in New Zealand (note from Mama: ah yes, the lust of it all! Thanks for sharing!) Dear Biker Chick: I can't call you by your own name, "Chicken", because it's not fair to be so hard on yourself. I marvel that you had the courage to go to Bike Week. My first year riding I went to a small, in comparison, bike show in Ocean City Maryland and thought I would die of embarrassment. I was sure everyone there had been riding for years and was snickering as they watched me walk my Sportster across the field that was being used as a parking lot. But you know what? Every biker there had to start at the beginning also. No one was born with the proper genetics to ride right the first time. I was terrified my first summer riding. I put off riding each time my partner brought it up because I would start to shake just thinking of getting on that bike. One day someone said to me, If you have to work this hard at it maybe you shouldn't ride. Well, that did it for me. Fear or not, I was determined to conquer this. I'm still much better on the straight away. I love to feel the power under me when I take off and leave everyone behind. But give me a narrow street to turn into and I'm heading for mush again. My first year riding I dropped the bike at least seven times. The first time was the day I brought it home and dropped it on my foot. I was out of commission for 6 weeks, just long enough to wait for the first Motor Cycle Safety Class. After that, the bike would lay down on turns. Mainly right turns. Not enough throttle. One time I was going up a very steep hill on a sharp curve. I looked at where I didn't want to go and that was where I ended up. On gravel in a parking lot, down on my right side. Remember, you go where you look. I'm now beginning year three. Yesterday I took the bike out and had some of the same anxiety. It lingers. I don't know why, and I feel kinda silly. I've put 4000 miles on the road now and am still a ninny on the tight turns. I have a Low Rider these days and it's a beauty, but we haven't bonded yet and that' s the key. Ride. Ride. Ride. It's the only way. And I truly do love it. Ann (note from Mama: I still hate coming down steep mountains with deep curves -- going up, no problem,, but coming down -- yikes. But I realize that my body and mind are telling me to take care in these situations, and I've learned at what pace I can comfortably handle something -- and then I stick with. It's like passing a huge truck in a car -- I always cringe because I think they are going to tip over right when I pass them! Imagine me on a bike -- zoom, zoom as quick as I can! ) I have been riding off and on for 33 yrs. I got my Honda 750 Shadow Spirit last June just before I turned 50 yrs. young. I knew I could ride him but I was scared to death. I took the MSF and learned a lot. My instructor got so mad at me for not looking ahead all of the time. I was very nervous too but when I actually got on the road and used the techniques they taught us it was a breeze. Let me tell you, I have gone on many day trips and a couple of weekend trips and I still clinch my butt . . .hehehe. I have to tell my self to let loose and to take deep breathes. This is something my husband Jim and I love to do together. He has been so patient with me and tells all of our fellow riders to let me ride tail so I don't or won't have to go as fast as them. You know men they love to race and speed. Take your time and be patient with yourself. Enjoy riding and don't rush when you are learning. You will get better with more practice. Keep the rubber side down and enjoy the wind in your face. Marigold (note from Mama: thank you for your caring, sharing support!) Sunday, March 30 In regards to Chicken who has the new-rider jitters: I just love this site! I could so relate to Ann, Judith, and Marigolds comments. Many of us have been there done that and still doing it. It sure makes you feel better when you know you are not alone with your feelings about riding. It is so true the more you ride (truly ride, ride, ride)the more comfortable you begin to feel. I have even found the more I ride... the more I WANT to ride. So all you gals with your intense feelings... things will get better. I am still very much a beginner (have about 4800 miles) and still get the feelings but can tell it is already getting better. Hang in there girls and RIDE SAFE! HDChik Tuesday, April 1 One more for Chicken who has the new-rider jitters: All I can say is "DON'T GIVE UP!". I decided to learn to ride last summer. I bought my bike before ever even riding! I had ridden with my hubby twice and decided that I would feel more in control riding my own bike than riding with him. Well, I bought a Vulcan 800 Drifter. When we got it home and parked it beside his Sportster, my bike looked huge in comparison. I wondered if I had bitten off more than I could handle. My stomach stayed in my throat. I learned how to ride in a grassy field, then advanced to a parking lot. I am really lucky because we also have an industrial park a mile from my home that is mostly empty. It has about 5 miles of roads that make a circle and with only two business, the roads are empty after 7 PM. I put several miles on my bike going around and around the park practicing stopping, starting and turning. There was an occasional car, but with only one or two cars at the time, it made it easy for me to get the feel of riding in traffic without there being any. YOU should consider yourself a very brave woman to have even attempted to tackle Bike Week! I spent the first 3 months VERY VERY nervous! It takes time to gain confidence, but you will, but you must go slow. I did have the advantage of taking the Motorcycle Safety Course. The biggest thing I learned from the course was confidence. I felt so much better after the class. Please start with the basics, get comfortable with the clutch lever because that is where you have the most control over the bike. On my first trip out on the "main" roads, a car made a left turn out of a shopping center without stopping or looking. I slammed on the brakes and came to a stop just inches from her car. SHE just kept going without even saying "I'm sorry" or asking if I was OK. I felt lucky because I was able to stop my bike quickly, without dropping it on the road. Of course this experience made me so nervous. I was shaking all over and was about to cry! I was so scared. It took about 30 minutes before I could get back on and ride the bike home. I was shaking the whole way... All this on my first ride on main roads! It did take some time to gain my confidence back, but I was determined. Scared or not, I decided to learn to ride and not give up. While riding the roads (with no traffic) I had started having FUN and decided that riding a bike did have some risks, but with the right training, skills and confidence, riding was for me. Give it TIME...your nervousness will go away and you will LOVE IT TOO. I have respect for my bike and really watch cars all the time. YOU MUST EXPECT the UNEXPECTED and be prepared. I have now been riding 8 months... and LOVE IT! I love it more and more every time I get on my bike. You will too, so don't give up... There is nothing like riding.. the feel of a heavy machine between your legs...the roar of the motor... the sound of loud pipes.... the wind blowing by.. blue skies.. it is so liberating! Just take it slow, ride in low traffic areas, ask your hubby to be patient with you and give you time to gain your confidence as well as develop your skills... Believe me.... my hubby now has a hard time keeping up with me! Your V-Twin Sister Bonnie (note from Mama: boy, I just relived every experience I ever had when I first started by reading your letter. It's just so realistic about what to expect when you start out -- with all the joy and tears and determination. Thank you for sharing your personal story as a source of inspiration!) Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Joann, Sometimes when a really good thing gets knocked around by a couple of nasty experiences, we begin to doubt whether something was any good to begin with. That's when we lose sight of the big picture, and the big picture for you is that you really DO want to ride. So, since jerks have been the problem, get back on the bike when there are less jerks to contend with, i.e. early Sunday mornings, less populated areas, empty school lots, etc. Get a feel of the bike and yourself back in sync by practicing your basics without having to deal with traffic at the same time. Work on that right turn, first with big lazy circles, then a little tighter, etc. It's not lame -- that's just how you feel, and you need to unlearn your fear by facing it, but out of the way of other stuff. We've also talked a lot about positive imagery at this site -- sitting at the kitchen table, imaging yourself on your bike and having a really good ride (see yourself going down the road and all is well -- your senses are in tune, you're easily scanning left, right, front, back to check for trouble spots, your shifting is going well, you're coming to stops under complete control, turns are smooth and easy, a little biker wave to a passing motorcyclist, and finally, you pull into your driveway having had a good ride). If all you do is imagine the worst, instead of the best, you'll psych yourself out. Stop it! Keep doing the positive imagery thing until it's all you can think of! Well, that's my best advice (minus any magic wand) and I hope it helps a little. Mama Extra Note: see some responses specific to right turns in the Curves/Turns section! Tuesday, April 8 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Nancy, Dear VTwin Mama, However, my husband has been encouraging me so I began riding again last year on a 1986 700 Magna. The last ride of the season was much to long and again I experienced that same feeling. I was riding along and suddenly I did not know if I was up or down or how to steer that bike. Fortunately, I was on a straight away when it happened and recovered enough to stop the bike. I shook for an hour, then had to convince myself to get back on. I told my husband I had to stop every couple of miles just to get the feel of the ground under me, but I made it home. Friday, April 4, a very good friend of ours bought a brand new Harley. His wife dropped him off to pick it up and on the way home he wandered over the center line and was killed. No one can figure out what happened. He was a VERY experienced rider and Im thinking that if he can do this, what chance do I have. Its funny because I ride a 200 Honda dirt bike off-road every weekend in the summer and absolutely love it. I take the jumps, ride over huge rocks, side hill the mountains, go straight down the mountains and never give it a thought. Hope I have not discouraged or frightened anyone. I love your site and think the women are wonderful. I LOVE to see women ride and wish I could join you. Thanks for letting me sound off!! Penny Dear Penny, I also find that when I write something down about how I feel, I'm finally giving myself "permission" to say what I really mean from deep down inside. Is that how this felt to you when you were writing in to the VTwin Mama site -- that you were finally free to say what you really needed to say? Because that's a good thing! My condolences on the loss of your good friend. We could guess from here to eternity about what happened, but ultimately will never know. For you, the accident weighs heavier because you were already concerned over your own feelings about street riding and some negative experiences. You mention the icky feelings you've had sometimes, but I'm wondering about all those other street rides in-between. Were you equally heavy of heart during those rides, even if nothing in particular went wrong? Sometimes we bluff our way through things, saying to ourselves, it'll get better, I'm doing this for so-and-so and that's important, I can do this because I know I can do this, etc. When we are then asked how "things are going," we plaster a smile on our face and make everything seem just fine, even when somewhere deep down inside that's not how we are feeling at all. It's a normal human reaction! It's obvious that the joy (and lack of fearful "emotional" restraints) of off-road riding has truly found a wonderful place in your life. Now it's time to give yourself permission to tell not only the people you love around you, but yourself as well, how you feel about your different riding choices and what makes sense for YOU. While it's wonderful that your husband has encouraged and supported your solo street riding attempt, and you took the smart step to take a safety course, maybe solo street riding is not what you expected, anticipated or wish to continue doing. There is no shame in this. Not everything we try is meant to be! I'm glad the VTwin Mama site has been one that you enjoy visiting -- and in the end, it was the place where you could bare your soul. That IS the whole point of this site -- giving women the chance to say what they need to say, surrounded by honesty and the spirit of sharing and caring. You had the courage to say all of these things to me and the VTwin Mama sisters -- now take the next courageous step and examine your heart of hearts on these matters. Whatever your decision is in the long run, know that we respect you and the choices you will make. So will the people that love you most. Trust yourself to make them and say so! By the by, there are excellent sites that cater to women and dirt/motocross riding. One I know of is www.girlrider.net. If you look in the Links section, and scroll down on the right side, you'll find a very active chat forum for recreational women dirt riders! Perhaps you have already found this, but if not, check it out1 And don't hesitate to write in again with more thoughts. We care. Mama Thursday, April 24 Dear VTwin Mama, I had never ridden a motorcycle, not even as a passenger, until my husband got back into motorcycling in May of 2001. At first I thought what in the heck am I doing -- not only is he going thru a mid-life crisis but he is going to kill me in the process. It wasn't that bad and I did enjoy the rides and the wind in my face and the group of people that he was riding with. With encouragement, in August of the same year, my husband told me that we didn't have any hobbies in common and that he thought I might enjoy riding my own bike by myself with him. He offered to pay for the MSF school and told me that if I didn't like it, it would make me a better passenger. To make a long story short, two weeks later I took the course, during which I acquired the name Throttle Mama given to me by my instructor, because I wanted to go faster than the 15 mph limit they had set. Two weeks after that I purchased my first motorcycle a V-Star 650 custom , which I rode for six months and then I was ready to move up. I'm now the proud owner of a V-Star 1100 Classic. I'm still learning every time I ride , and I'm enjoying it more each time I ride. For all the female potential riders if I can do it anyone can and the memories I have from each ride are cherished and I am always looking forward to the next ride. One other thought, I suffer from anxiety, panic attack disorder and I thought I would never be able to cope with the feeling that I get when I have these, but it seems that when I'm riding I feel calm and relaxed and it is both therapeutic and something that my husband and I can do together which has been a blessing to both of us. Terri Bell (aka Throttle Mama) Dear Throttle Mama, Friday, April 25 Dear VTwin Mama, One thing I'm a bit nervous about is dropping the bike. I suppose mainly I feel someone will see me go down and I'll feel stupid. It helps to see other women have dropped...so I guess I shouldn't feel so bad if it does happen. Also I'm afraid I'll be going too fast and won't be able to stop in time. Michele Dear Michele, If you are continually stalling when you come to a complete stop, it simply means that you've not got the bike in a "neutral" position when you actually stop. Usually you can hear the bike starting to "choke" as you slow down completely and are not giving the bike any gas. As you approach your stop, downshift into 1st gear and just before you stop, pull your clutch lever in all the way. This means that you're gear is still in first, but not engaged. If it's a short stop, you can simply sit there with the lever pulled in until it's time to ease it out and get rolling again. If it's a longer stop, you can shift back to neutral so that you're hand doesn't have to hold the clutch lever in the whole time. For practice, try slowing down in first gear, then pulling in the clutch lever and "coasting" to your stop. You'll see that you won't stall. As to dropping the bike -- yes, it happens -- but the key to building your confidence is to know how to pick the bike up again correctly -- all on your own! Here's one site that has pictures and words (http://ibmwr.org/otech/pickup.html). That way, if it does occur, you will be in position to handle it! Even if that 250 really isn't heavy enough to worry about, practice the sequence of what you should do in your mind (hit the kill switch, etc.), so if it happens, you will look smooth and confident in handling the situation -- it will go a long way to minimizing the "stupid" feeling. Also, make sure you're wearing clothes that fully cover you (long pants and sleeves/jacket and good boots, gloves, helmet etc.). Why scrape yourself up in the process?! Also, there are four VTwin Mama sisters in New Jersey listed in the Opt-In Rider List. Consider contacting one nearest you to see if they can provide you with more "local" support! It might help to have a sympathetic rider with you on your first practice sessions for the season. Asking is free! Mama Wednesday, April 30 Dear VTwin Mama, Per your suggestions, I started out slow on a Sunday. I went alone to an empty parking lot to practice my stopping and turning techniques. Then rode around town for two hours stopping at all the stop signs, then down main street through all the stop lights. After that I headed out of town onto the highway. I got the bike up to speed and instead of panic (and that is exactly what it was) I felt the biggest thrill of my life...: ) Every once in a while, however, around the curves the panic wanted to sneak back in. All I had to do was start playing with the throttle. I could then feel the bike under me, knew I had control, and I was just fine. Now I headed for my BIGGEST challenge. I headed for the curve where I went down. I have dreamed of this several times and believe me, they were all nightmares (sorry for the drama). I pulled off the side of the road to make sure no traffic was coming from either direction. The first time around I shook so hard I didnt know if I could really do it. The FORTH time around was actually FUN! I went home told my husband that if he thought he could keep up with me (this is extremely funny because he is an excellent rider) I would allow him to join me for another ride. After the ride he very gently explained to me that we are not allowed to stand on our street bikes with our fist in the air yelling YEE HAW at the top of our lungs as we go down the highway...: ) Oh, the thrill of knowing I CAN do it! Believe me ladies, the bike can make all the difference in the world. My husband thinks Ill outgrow my Thumper someday, but Ill be a hard one to convince! THANKS again for your feedback and Ill be SEEING you the highway. Penny Dear Penny, At the very least you've battled the "demons" and come out on the other side of it! I would have been standing on my foot pegs yelling at the top of my lungs too (but that's another story about when I take my first ride of the year and can't help but scream out in pure joy when I first crack open the throttle and feel the raw power and energy!). I'd give you a "bike wave" right now . . . but I don't have any appropriate clip art! Keep on keeping on VTwin Mama sister -- you're an inspiration to us all! Mama Dear VTwin Mama, But I am also a little apprehensive on trying main highways. I only live a few miles from a stretch of the old 66 highway in Oklahoma and really want to try it. Can you give me any advice on working thru my fear of driving on a real road? I guess I'm also a little intimidated when I see other women riding much larger bikes than mine, but I knew I had to start out small, I'm only 5'2'' and the Rebel felt so comfortable to me (and I sat on many a bike when I went looking). Thanks so much. Snoma Dear Snoma, Yes, there are many women riding bigger bikes -- but keep in mind that many opted to start out on a smaller bike such as yours to get good practice time in before deciding what bigger bike was going to make sense for them. The bottom line is that in order to advance your riding skills, you'll need to get your first "go" at a highway sometime -- just do it smart and you'll be ok! Every challenge in life has a bit of the "fear factor" in it -- but that's what makes it worth accomplishing your goal, so go for it! Mama Share Your ThoughtsTop Monday, May 19 For Snoma who is working up the courage to get on the highway: I started riding at age 44, and I rode a Honda Shadow 600. I rode my bike on local roads for my first season (2,000 miles). I live in NJ and traffic can be pretty hectic in rush hour. I rode 2 lane and 4 lane (two in each direction) roads. After 1 year I practiced taking the highway for 1 exit only on the 600. Getting her to 70 and keeping it there, I was not comfortable. I have now moved up to a bigger bike and am ok on the highway. I wanted to let you know that as a new rider, get comfortable on the local roads first where you can ride the speed limit and a little above. Riding is a skill, the more you do it, the better you get, so get going Snoma. Angela Kosar (note from Mama: there's nothing like practical first-hand advice from someone who has more recently passed that milestone!) I'd like to comment on Snoma's fear of the freeway. I did just what Petra suggested and went early Sunday morning. My HD 883 Sportster Hugger did pretty good going up to 50-60 and kicking into 5th gear was smoother. I try to stay in the center lane, not to fast, not too slow and watch people's blind spots. Let the speeders pass you and poky folks on the right. The freeway is great to get somewhere fast but actually I enjoy a slower ride on surface streets to be on the bike longer! Good luck Snoma! Barbara Crumley in Chandler, AZ (note from Mama: while I enjoy putting down the back roads a lot more than highway cruising overall, it's simply a skill that must be learned 'cause there are times you'll just need to get from Point A to Point B in a hurry!) Share Your ThoughtsTop Tuesday, June 3 Dear VTwin Mama, I took and passed the MSF Course. But guess what? Yep, I am scared to death of this bike. Day 1 I dropped it in my drive way *sigh*. I am thinking maybe I got something that is too big for me. Maybe I should have gotten a 250? Or is this entire thing in my head? You know 750 vs 250? Power scare? Any comments? I love your site and am sooo glad to have found it! Thanks so much. Deb Dear Deb, The problem I see is that your driveway is only so long, so you've got the burden of trying to handle the bike in too short of a distance before you have to get on the street, and all that "crowded" space is adding some mental blocks that you don't need right away! My suggestion is that you have a trusted friend ride that 750 over to an empty parking lot somewhere (the smoother, the better!) so that you get a chance to put in some practice time where there are no distractions (just like your course) and you have a clear shot at working on your basic skills on the bigger bike. Yes, there is more power, but the skills needed to ride it are the same! Give that some thought and see if it makes a difference for you. Mama Share Your ThoughtsTop Thursday, June 12 Dear VTwin Mama, I wondered if there is hope for me? Does every other woman cling on and scream faster at 100mph? At one point, I thought "I am never going to do this again" but at other points it was so amazing, such a glorious feeling, that I can't wait to get back out there. As I mentioned I had never even sat on a bike before this weekend so part of me feels I did pretty well but need some sort of validation. Don't know anyone else who rides bikes, found this site by accident, hope to hear from you all, can't get bikes out of my head at present.... KC Dear KC, Most of drive our own cars and are rarely passengers. Doesn't it feel weird when you don't have control of the car but just have to sit there no matter what happens?! Same thing on a bike. Unless you regularly are a passenger, you will never relax as much. So, I think the higher speeds might have been just a bit too much for you on the first ride, but that's totally natural. I still don't like high, high speeds except for short bursts on straight open country roads and even then, only for a short distance. Just to do it. And my bike thinks it fun too! You did great. Now decide what you are going to do with your new found "love." It's an exciting world out there for riders -- come join us! Mama Share Your ThoughtsTop Dear VTwin Mama, I rode pillion a little bit 20+ years ago and last year my husband bought a used 1100 Shadow. After he became practiced (and passed an MSF course), I too thought "why not me?" This is something I've always wanted to do and now, at 47, I have a chance to do it---with support. My sister learned to ride 30 years ago but has since given it up (non-riding hubby). But I have never driven a standard shift, so in effect I am learning that as well. I'm a klutz, uncoordinated, and it takes me a long time to learn things, especially the physical. I was never an athlete. But when I do "get" something, I've got it. Last fall we traded the 1100 in on a 98 Ace Tourer for him and a 600 VLX for me. Last fall and this spring (bad Cleveland winter here, spent working out with weights to help handle the weight of my bike) he would drive it to a parking lot and I would practice. It took until the third time on the bike to get up the nerve to turn! The second time out I dropped it from too much front brake pressure. Big ugly bruise on my leg (and my ego). I got right back on, but the next time, the jitters started. Eventually I was practicing starting into a turn from a stop, big u-turns in second gear, rolling turns, controlled stops, learning to keep my head up and look into a turn, etc., etc. I tried to practice things that would be needed in riding the streets. By the end of March I thought (and he thought) I was ready for the side streets. We have a (kind of) steep apron on our driveway (my sons' friends call it the monster) and I did get out okay; rode around the side streets a little, stalled it twice, but generally okay. Well, I misjudged my entry speed coming into the driveway and crashed into the front porch. I jumped up right away as my husband and son ran out of the house. The bike had $2200 damage and I was so ashamed. Over the next few days he begged me not to ride any more, with no argument from me. After a little time passed, we realized that early mistakes can happen, and he said he would help me for as long as it takes if I still wanted to ride, but the decision was mine. We got the bike back a month later and headed back to the parking lot. I was almost starting from scratch, but I slowly made my way around. We did the parking lot a few more times and I took the MSF course in mid May. The one instructor really rode me (no pun intended) about not going fast enough and about tight turns, which I could not seem to do even on a smaller bike. I needed more practice on that small bike. I missed passing the test by 5 points. I am signed up for another MSF class in July. We headed to the lot once more to acclimate me to a bigger, heavier bike again. My husband and I have been out on the side streets four times since. It was starting to be fun. I have turned into the driveway twice from rolling, twice from stopping and then slowly in. (okay, so I'm still apprehensive about that driveway) My husband is pushing me to go faster (and I know you have to keep up with traffic and not piss off the cagers), but I tend to be more cautious because I'm NEW and I watch parked cars and kids and chuck holes (the streets are still in terrible shape). My reaction time can't be as good as his. On the better streets and during school hours I do get up to 5 mi over speed limit sometimes. My shifting is a little slow and I can't seem to get up to speed fast enough to stay up with him. He wants me to start going out by myself when there is limited traffic but I'm having trouble getting up my nerve. We're leaving vacation in two days; taking both bikes down south. We stay with friends in a rural area. I doubt I'll be heading out on the highway, but hope to get out on some country roads. (I didn't want to go two weeks without riding my bike.) For our longer excursions, I'll ride pillion for now. His friend's wife starting riding last fall and got out on her own quite a bit. Her husband told her to get out and ride as much as possible if she wanted to keep the bike. She claims she took to it right away and never had any jitters. My theory is, either she's an ostrich (head in the sand) or she's lying. She's very competitive and I can't talk to her about this. I worry about the things I haven't done yet, like gassing up, stopping on an incline, etc. Here is my problem. I almost said I'm not cut out for this; I don't want to take the bike; simply because of these jitters and fear of the unknown. It starts the night before I am going to ride, right up to getting on and starting out. Once on the bike for a bit, I calm down some. Reading the posts at your site made me decide not to quit, but I must come to terms with and handle these jitters! I'll try to visualize a good ride instead of the what ifs. I'll try to "make nice" with the beast and bond with it. (I'm not kidding) I am trying to recap recent outings (some good, some not so good) and remind myself that I CAN ride. I just have no experience and am probably not safe enough for traffic yet (main streets). But I know, when on vacation, I'll go to get on the bike and head out that long gravel (yes, gravel) driveway where we're staying, I'll be a quiet basket case. I can't seem to gain control over my nerves. I need practice but have so much trouble pushing my took us out the door. And these ladies that just get out there and ride right off the bat---how do they do it? Can you help? Babystepper in C-town Dear Babystepper, First, kudos to you for detailing your thoughts on jitters! It's not always easy coming right out and saying that's how you feel (people in general tend to be in "a closet" when it comes to talking about things that are making them uncomfortable). My Jitters page is proving to a valuable source of sharing these feelings and I'm glad you found it and realize that you are not alone. It's the first step to getting a handle on "the battle of the nerves"! Klutzes unite! Thank goodness my mother recognized this tendency in me at an early age and got me into gymnastics where I spent over 10 years working on gaining control over my physical being. Otherwise I would have continued into life being highly uncoordinated. Your point is well taken -- while riding a motorcycle does take a certain amount of hand/foot/visual/balance coordination, it CAN be learned, and once learned, usually is mastered. For some new riders who are challenged in this area, it may never be achieved and riding will not be possible in the long term. I think this is a very, very small percentage of the overall amount of people who are really adamant about learning though. Physical strength should be addressed by all riders. I find that it is simpler easier to handle a bike when my upper body strength and stomach muscles are toned, so I continue to do free weight exercises. It saves wear and tear on my arms, neck and back. There isn't a rider alive today that hasn't dropped a bike, accidentally rammed up the throttle and ran into something, misjudged a turn/road shoulder/pavement angle/speed to make a curve, etc. Maybe they didn't do all of them, but the late, great Gilda Radner coined the phrase, "It's always something," and she meant it! Accepting the eventuality of a mishap along the way in learning to ride is a time honored tradition! The embarrassment is fleeting, the bruises will heal, and the bike can be repaired -- but if we allow these events to fester in our minds -- then we do ourselves no favors. Identifying what and HOW we did something wrong, learning from it, and continuing to practice in order to master the technique is necessary. If you want to learn it bad enough, you will. So, no brain festering! Let it go and get on with the learning! Taking a break in learning is ok! As you noted, it made sense for you and then it made sense to try again. Trusting our inner gut is good. Trying something you really want to achieve again and again is even better. There obviously is no guarantee that anyone will pass a motorcycle safety course the first time around. What I try to emphasize is that the point of taking the course is that it is a learning experience. The point isn't to pass -- the point is to LEARN! If someone passes the first time -- great -- you'll get your motorcycle license -- but then you've STILL got a lot to learn! If not, then you've identified what you still need to work on and can do so. You've noted that you'll be taking the course again in July -- kudos to you for your "stick with it" attitude. Learning, no matter what challenge we undertake, is a life long process. Not learning is the sin. So you've been practicing. Yahoo! Now, take your time. If this means a gazillion practice sessions in an empty parking lot, then so be it. Pressing yourself to take on situations that you're not ready for does you (and your nerves) no good. If you're not ready for traffic, then say so! And mean it. Don't apologize for your "internal learning schedule" -- it's yours to follow and you'll know when you're ready to take a next step. I know that I can get myself all tied up in knots when people are pressing me to take on more than I can handle -- it doesn't mean I don't want to achieve the end result -- but allowing myself to slowly work up to something makes me feel better. I'll get there eventually! A bit of humor and honesty works wonders here -- ie: honey, it's not in master plan to drop the bike again, but let's face it, I'm still learning, so you never know! Yes, some people in this world grasp riding concepts, techniques and skills faster than others. It's rude and mean-spirited to imply that everyone should. So, your husband's friend's wife might have made the comment about her fast learning curve, but that has nothing to do with you. You are an individual. Don't compare yourself to ANYONE else, and don't let their time table and competitiveness make you feel like you need to achieve the same end result in the same amount of time. Your careful learning curve will eventually get you there, and you'll have learned a lot along the way. Lessons learned the hard way stick with us SO much better, don't you think?!. Rule #2 in Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements is "Don't take anything personally -- what other people say or do isn't because of you, it's because of their own life experiences." Again, no brain festering. Psyching yourself out the night before a riding sessions -- that's a toughie. Our minds are strange things and you've already noted that you will be trying the positive visualization techniques mentioned by others to help overcome this tendency (see the smooth, coordinated ride in your mind and you've got a better chance of achieving it -- visualize a bad ride and what's the point?!). We're back to not biting off more than we can chew. Long gravel driveway at your friend's house got your in stomach flip-flops -- don't do it if you're not ready! Higher speed rides with a group making our palms sweaty just thinking about it -- don't do it if you're not ready! Clearly identify what you ARE READY FOR -- and SAY SO. YOU set the boundaries, YOU call the type ride you can handle, YOU clearly identify what will make for an enjoyable riding session. YOU have NOTHING to be ashamed of, but you DO have the responsibility of saying what you can and cannot handle in a clear, unapologetic voice. Isn't is weird that we see our failures as large and our successes as small?! We tend to make too much of the ickies and not enough about what we have achieved. So, mentally reverse that thinking pattern. Each success you have in mastering a technique is a HUGE step up in your riding ability. Each oppsie you have is a TINY obstacle to overcome. You've got what it takes Babystepper -- drive, determination, and desire. Now, take charge of your mental attitude and don't let it push you around! Mama Share Your ThoughtsTop Wednesday, June 18 For Babystepper who is working through her "learning curve" jitters: Been there....done that! I would be glad to share stories and give encouragement to Babystepper. I totally understand...especially about the Monster. I certainly had (and still get) my share of the jitters plus I hate my driveway too! Bootygrandma (note from Mama: I've passed your email address on to Babystepper should she wish to correspond. Thanks for reinforcing that she is not alone!) Share Your ThoughtsTop Thursday, June 19 For Babystepper who is working through her "learning curve" jitters: This is me all over! At least you have the nerve to go on out of the driveway! I spend a lot of time pushing mine around the carport, starting it to keep the battery charged and moving it from side to side and around to remind me how the weight feels. I've had one guy supposedly training me that has caused me more barriers than anything from pushing me into trying to do more than I was ready for. I've decided he will be dismissed now and I can start over on my own at my own pace. I think he was making me more nervous than I was by myself! I passed my MSF class, came home and got my license and laughed all the way back to work because all I could think was "they will give anybody a license"! Then I got on my bike (after the MSF class), rode it around, parked, got off and forgot to put my kickstand down. My son had a kick out of that! I'm going back to the parking lot and down the streets around my neighborhood for as long as it takes to make me feel more comfortable which may be awhile. Susan (note from Mama: Good for you Susan! Learning at your own pace is the only way to go. Reminds me of the first time I rode my bike to work and didn't realize I had chosen pavement to park on that was at an angle. Went to push out the kickstand and the bike starting tipping left and couldn't catch myself with my left leg, so over we went! Ah, memories!) Share Your ThoughtsTop Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Jett, At this point I'm assuming you have the bike in your possession: with the help of a trusted and strong friend (riding or non-riding), and the bike NOT running, have your friend straddled the front tire, plant their feet firmly, and grab hold of the center of the handlebars from the front. Then you climb on the bike and together tip the bike to a centered position (and you should push the kickstand up and away). How did that feel? Are your feet flat on the ground or a bit tippy toe? Understand your foot position on the ground so you know where you are in the future. With your friend still having a firm hold, tilt the bike a little to the left and then a little to the right. Get use to the feeling of the weight. Then tip just a little bit more, etc. Tip the bike slowly back and forth and continue to feel the weight of the bike and make friends with it (the beastie has feelings too you know!). Now, roll the bike a little forward (make sure it's in neutral, and still not running) with our friend pulling a bit and then roll backward, with your friend pushing the bike a bit. If you've practiced the tilting exercise above, you'll be ready to handle the feeling of the bike tipping a little left or right on the roll, if it should happen -- and you'll be ready to handle the weight because you know what it feels like, your feet position, etc.! Practice this until you are blue in the face or the beer in your fridge is calling to you. Then try these exercises on our own (preferably not after raiding the fridge for liquid courage). Afraid the bike will tip and fall over and you won't be able to pick it up? Then check my Cool Links page for a great site on how to properly pick the bike up. This will give you SO much confidence that you will cease to worry about if it happens, because if it does, then you know what to do. You might even want to tip the bike over (making sure the gas lever is shut off) onto a piece of scrap rug or carpet with the help of your friend and practice this technique. Sound a bit babyish? Hah! Good riding comes with practice, and any practice that helps you master and conquer a concern is good practice indeed. Now, go do it! And if necessary, take up free weights to build up your upper body strength. Really! Mama Share Your ThoughtsTop Wednesday, June 25 Dear VTwin Mama, A couple of years later he bought be a beautiful read 600 VLX Deluxe. I was scared to death. I could touch the ground flat footed but barely. I dropped it once when my shoes were wet and I put the kickstand down but my foot slipped off of it before it was down all the way and the bike fell. Talk about sad, anger, self-confidence being gone. Well, now we've two kids and no riding time. My husband has a 750 ACE and I've ridden it before but it's not short enough. However, a beautiful 750 ACE Deluxe (customized) became available so we bought it. I'm tippy toed on it - can't reach the brake pedal without stretching (they pedals were modified from the original) and can barely grab the clutch and hand brake. Talk about scared! We live in the country where most roads are gravel and if I slip when my feet are down at a stop sign I just know that bike is going down. I am getting a 2.5" lowering kit for it and risers for the handlebars. My question is this: Am I the only woman out there that is scared of the thought that the bike is too heavy to pick up; that I might need help backing it out of a space; that I can't turn it in tight spots? I've seen women on much bigger bikes and wonder how they can handle such a heavy bike when they need to do something other than just ride (i.e. turn in tight spots, back up etc.) tmac5 Dear tmac5, First of all, there is a proven set of instructions that will help you learn how to pick up your bike should it ever decide to "take a nap" on its side. And here is the website: http://ibmwr.org/otech/pickup.html. Many women have written in that after reviewing the steps, they had someone help them lay their bike down on an old piece of carpet and practice this. Talk about boosting confidence. Now, backing a bike out of a space is a matter of pre-planning. You've got to learn to judge the space you are about to pull into so that you're never in a position to need help to get the bike out! So, if the angle is slightly sloping downwards, you always make a modified "Y" turn in front of the space and back it in. Then, when it's time to go, give it some gas and out you go! If the angle is slightly sloping upwards, then simply ease the bike in nose first, so when you're ready to leave, the bike will easily roll out the parking space. Tight turns and spots is a matter of practice. Check this previous letter where I discuss some techniques for getting use to the weight of a bike so that when you find yourself in tight spots, the weight of the bike will not "throw you for a loop" and you'll be in great shape to handle it! If others can learn these techniques, so can you. It's a matter of practice, so go to it! Mama Share Your ThoughtsTop Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Marecat, So, get out there and practice when the weather allows and keep working on the basics. You'll be in that much better position to go into the course with some confidence. DON'T GIVE UP! Now is the time to practice, practice, practice and get rid of some of those jitters -- on your terms and in your own good time -- that's the key! The course is designed to push you through lessons in quick order (isn't it 2 days?!) and you need to get a handle on a few things first. As to getting your license this year |
