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Jitters Home
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2008 Friday, February 22 Dear VTwin Mama, After a few minutes into the ride, I start relaxing and enjoying myself a
bit more. I hope this feeling passes. It almost makes me not want to ride when
I feel that way. My kids think I have lost my mind (they're grown). But I have
a grandbaby that I absolutely adore and I think of him every time I step on
that bike and go for a spin. It helps keep me alert, mindful of the other
drivers and conditions of the road because I know one little mistake could
cost me. Dear Debbie, So thanks for letting others know they aren't alone and that it takes courage and can do attitude to keep at it ... there will be that one moment when it comes together in such a delicious way that no matter what butterflies want to tag along for the ride, they'll be ones of excitement! – Mama Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Cloudwalker, Meanwhile, given that some things will quickly come back to you, besides considering taking a riding course, I'd hop on and do a few drills. 1) in neutral, sit on the bike and walk it forward with no power to get a feel for the new weight/balance. Then do some backing up exercises. Do a few gentle leans side to side to feel the weight and how much your legs can hold now. Now, turn the handlebar all the way to one side and see how your arm reach is to the controls. 2) fire up the bike, put it in first, and slowly let the clutch out to that first point of engagement but not any further. The bike will begin moving forward and you can duck walk along with it. You might need a little throttle so it doesn't stall. If it starts moving too fast forward, remove power from the throttle and pull in the clutch lever ... remember, you remove all power by pulling that lever in! Try it again until you've got the clutch engagement and throttle coordinated to a steady duck walk. 3) get the bike to a big empty but paved parking lot. Do the duck walk and then try picking up your feet ... remember, balance is maintained better when we pick up our feet together, not one at a time. 4) Decide if taking a riding course would be advantageous or the old skills are coming back on their own! Ok back-to-riding-after-awhile gals ... let's get some support messages in! – Mama Dear VTwin Mama, I’m a 32 year old, confident, happy,
well adjusted woman (sassy and classy as required in your headers) and yet I
have just managed to get myself into the most stupid state over riding a bike.
Tears, jelly legs, the whole caboodle. I’m from the Having practised on a car park for a
few hours, with these boy wonders looking on in a bored fashion, I was taken
out to the quiet back roads where I managed to let go of the clutch while
revving. I ended up on the verge, having broken the indicator and grazed both
my knees, with my jeans tangled up on the stand so I couldn’t even get up
without being help by a gallant youth. I didn’t cry, and I rode the
bike back – this is the only pride I can glean from that moment. As we couldn’t continue with the
broken indicator, and as I needed another 2 hours riding to complete the CBT
the instructor suggested he come back to my home another day to compete the
time on my bike (bought, shiny, and unused at home) and that I try to get time
in practicing before then. I did that, although not a lot of practicing,
as I kept on making excuses to myself about not being road legal, our lane
being mainly gravel (we’re in a rural spot), I had deadlines for work, I
even prioritized housework which isn’t like me. I thought I’d managed to
laugh the incident off, but I got so jittery every time I started to pull off. That day came for him to come complete
the day and it took some effort to even move off the spot. I managed it, but
it was a close call, and then we were off. Slowly, but it felt good. Then
coming out of a bend, down a steep hill, my bike lost all power. For some
reason I looked down to see why – I have no idea what I expected to see, the
bike pixies holding up signs explaining things? But at least I had the sense
to brake which was good, because when I looked up all I could see was a stone
wall. I rolled gently into it, denting the front guard, and my pride. We
discovered, a mile or so further on that the power loss was due to running out
of petrol. Ego takes a further bash, and onto the reserve tank – and yet
again my poor ego, when I realize that I don’t have any money on me. We rode
(very slowly) into the nearest garage, he buys me petrol, and while he’s
paying an out of control 4x4 swerves off the road towards me. He obviously
misses, I’m typing this now, but it didn’t help, putting that little bit
more tension into my highly strung nerves. By this time all I want to do is
get home. We ride home. I think I hit 25mph at one stage on the way home, but
I know I didn’t get out of 2nd gear. This was enough for him to sternly
tell me I can have the certificate to ride. He pointed out that I’m safe,
but that I need to a) take (small) risks and speed up, b) practice, a lot. At
least one hour everyday. Elated at having been given the all clear I get very
drunk with the boyfriend. Yesterday (the day after getting my cert.) I was too
hung-over to ride. That was my excuse. Today I didn’t have one. At least not
once I’d walked the dog, checked my email, done the laundry…. It took me ages to get on that bike
(hours if I’m going to be honest). I made my partner take me out pillion
first. I cried, I fell into self-doubt and self-pity and was shaking like a
leaf and beating myself up all the while for over-reacting and being so
stupid. But I did it. I got on my bike and turned off into the road. This being the I know that logically only by riding
will I improve my riding. I know that I have wanted a bike since I was 13, and
my bike is beautiful, that this whole thing is something I want, yet I came so
close to just giving in today, and I’ve been giving myself such a hard time
over being so, well, chicken about it. I guess I wanted to let you know that
the site has really helped. It’s not ‘pathetic’ or any of the
other names that I I’ve been calling myself to react badly to bad moments.
Just hearing that other women have been nervous about it has really put things
back into perspective for me. Reading that other women have had the same sort
of mishaps and gone on to ride again, no matter how slowly really has made a
difference. For some reason I was believing that every other bike rider must
just have got on their bikes and off into the sunset without a mishap or
glitch, or a hint of nerves. When I think about getting back out
there tomorrow I still tense up a little, but the cattle stampede that my
stomach has been doing has stopped, and more importantly I know I’m going
to, rather than hoping I can. I just need to practice, and learn, and gain
confidence. Big thanks, huge ones in fact, to you and the women who told their tales, somehow I don’t think there are pages like this on the male forums ;) - please, please keep it up, I’m sure I’ll be back. – Lou Dear Lou, Do you hear a little noise somewhere behind you ... it's getting a little louder now ... that's clapping from every pair of women riders' hands applauding you as the journey continues. Quick ... acknowledge it or it will become quite deafening! I was especially drawn to the wonderful list of excuses you had at the ready ... see, this is how housework gets done ... and I too used it to great affect in the beginning. Unfortunately, I kept learning and practicing and now the house is a bit of a mess, the motorcycle has to cry out to get washed, because the road calling to me is the loudest voice! I would like to offer a thank you to the instructor who didn't give up on you, the boyfriend who stands at the ready when you need him, and to you, for having the smarts to do some online research that led you to the Jitters section. Now, out you go to pat the bike on the tank and say, "Very soon my beautiful bike, we will be moving down the road together in confidence because I know that's what we both want!" – Mama Hello VTwin Mama, My problem is that at fast speeds (45-55 mph) I tend to become somewhat hypnotized by oncoming traffic....and have even run off the opposite side of the road in a daze. I have done this twice and managed to keep the bike up and come to a complete stop safely (thank GOD) and get back on the bike. Obviously, this is a VERY dangerous problem and needs to be addressed immediately. All of my family rides and nobody has ever heard of this particular problem. Have you ever heard of this dilemma and are there any suggestions? – Leslie Dear Leslie, One can learn to "undo" this with practice. Find an empty parking lot and set up a cone or other very visible marker. Approach the object in second gear, look at the object and recognize it as the thing you wish to avoid, and shift your eyes to the sides of the object to recognize where you want to go, and then go there. What you'll be doing in this exercise is training your brain to identify a hazard and look for the correct "solution set" of space to avoid it. I think it would be helpful to have a mantra of sorts when you feel your gaze fixating ... maybe something like Shift Focus or Clear Space ... something you can repeat over and over to jar the brain. Do it over and over even if you feel this hazard avoidance situation isn't really your problem, and use the mantra you have chosen ... you're training the mental process, and in many cases, training our brain for the series of thoughts/responses we want is important and key to moving forward in our learning curve. Then I would go out with a family member on a quiet traffic day/time, with them in the lead. Concentrate on your lane position and ride. When a vehicle comes into your vision from the opposing lane, recognize it, say your mantra, shift your focus to your "clear space," aka your lane position in conjunction with the rider ahead of you, and proceed. Repeat. I think it might also be very helpful to more fully explore why you're fixating on oncoming traffic ... for instance, are you concerned they are going to cross the line into your lane? In this case, the practice sessions will help as we should always be riding with the subconscious brain "looking" for the "out." And the out is any space that gets us away from something bad. So, while we're not fixating on the outs, we're recognizing where the best ones are. Or perhaps there is a different reason ... and once again, consider past experiences to determine if there is something that's triggering this reaction. While all of this may seem very intensive, with practice it does eventually become part of your one-with-yourself-and-the-road feeling. – Mama For Lou and every single person in the Jitters section: OMG..I laughed so hard when I read her posting! I want to begin by saying I'm a 42 yr old grandma and I've never driven a bike until last year. I grew up with an over protective parent that made sure I was scared of everything in the world, including my own shadow. My husband has ridden bikes all his life. The women in the other two couples we ride with have bikes of their own. I really admired them for that, but never breathed a word about having one of my own until last summer. I finally shared with him, in private, that I wanted to learn how to ride. He said I was NOT going to get a bike. So of course I DID. Because I'm still independent and stubborn enough that nobody is going to TELL me I'm not. So instead of buying a smaller bike to get experience, I went out and bought a bike that most men would love to own after years of riding. Now I've got myself into a pickle. I have a 2001 Harley Davidson Dyna Low Rider which is the perfect bike for me...if I had experience. I immediately signed up for a course through the HD dealership. I did well and passed the course, but didn't get my safety card because I crashed on the last exercise. I was only going about 20 miles per hour when I performed the emergency stop and hit the hand brake too hard. I bruised my ribs and my ego, but managed to get back on and ride the bike to the garage where I had to wait for everybody else (all women thank God). I've gone about 10 miles in a circle in the six months I've had it. I've made every excuse in the world to not ride, some legitimate reasons and some not. The handlebars are too far out and straight (got a new one)...the clutch is too hard to pull. (got an easy clutch now)...it's too hot outside ( then came Winter), it's too cold outside (now it's turning Spring)...tire needs replaced (got one of those too)...never have time for some reason or the other...now I'm trying to figure out if I should sell it and buy a Ridley (no clutch..WOW)...just went to look at one today in fact. My husband is about to have a COW! I really, really want to ride. But I'm just so darn scared of this thing. I don't know if I can ever get over it. That is why I looked at the Ridleys. I am just scared that I'll let go of the clutch accidentally, it will lunch forward, die and then I'll fall over. I've already done that by the way (I was in loose gravel and got scared) I'm fine, but I busted a lens on the bike...$50! I live on a really long gravel driveway and I have to get past. The 10 miles I rode was in a neighborhood across from our house and my husband took the bike up there for me and patiently watched me ride. But now he tells me I'm past that and that if I don't learn to go down the driveway, then I cannot ride because he isn't going to ride it to the end of the street for me every time I want to ride. God love him, he thinks he's saving my life by discouraging me from riding. But all that does it make me more determined. Anyway, the only point to this posting is to say that my husband doesn't understand and I was so glad to read these stories and find that I'm not the only one and that there is hope for me. I'm going to think about all of you and try and take some of your strength with me as I push myself in neutral down the driveway [this was last Thursday]. I have to start all over again, since it has been 4 months since I've been on the bike. I'm really nervous, but determined. And then VTwin Mama and Lou, I'm gonna have a margarita! Update since the Thursday try (VTM was out of town at the time):
Thanks so much for the response asking for
an update on what happened. Before my husband got home, I convinced my 16
year old to stand guard for me in case I dropped the bike over. I was able
to at least get it out and push it a short distance, but being slightly
uphill and since the motorcycle weighs over 640 pounds, I didn't go far. But
I did feel a sense of accomplishment!
I finally got up the nerve to ask my husband to help in buying a dirt bike to practice on. He enjoyed the fact that I had to admit he was right about starting with a dirt bike and we went shopping. We bought the first bike we found since it was only $900 and was in like new condition. It is a Honda XR100R and I love it. I can ride it all over the place and will continue to practice the gear shifting and stopping and starting on it.
Also, I am so excited over a new
revelation. Not all bikes are created equal. I knew this of course, but I
have a friend who rides a 2004 Yamaha VStar Classic. She is only 5' tall and
rides better than anyone I know. I sat on her bike and released the clutch
enough to walk it around a parking lot Sunday. It was awesome..not even in
the least intimidating. It is balanced well, isn't heavy and I feel very
confident that I can learn to ride this bike much easier than the Dyna Low
Rider.
I'm not going to rush right into it of course. I'm going to continue practicing on the dirt bike, then try the Harley a couple more times and if it is still as scary to me as always, then I'm going to sell it and go by a Yamah VStar. I know it isn't as pretty or popular of a bike, but what difference does that make if I can't ride it. Thanks again for your website and thanks for checking on me...it really helps me to read the postings. I check it every now and then. – Donna (note from Mama: I'm so glad that Lou's message helped you realize that you're not alone and that your hubby dearest is back on board with helping you noodle out the next steps instead of standing there with his arms crossed. Many riders get that dream bike only to realize they need something smaller to get more practice time in, even after taking a riding course. Your letter is outlining wonderful steps in the learning process and I have no doubt you've gained a boot-full of knowledge that will serve you well in the coming months. Let us know how it's going ... we're all standing by to assist in any way that we can!) Dear Mama, Last spring, at the age of 59 and never having ridden before, I bought a Yamaha Morphous scooter...it fit me and I loved its looks. I took and passed the learner's test and got a permit. My husband took me to parking lots for practice. My MSF class was scheduled for 2 weeks in the future. I had the scoot 6 days and decided I knew enough to go out on my own. I was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt over a long sleeved shirt, high topped hiking boots, and a helmet and gloves. I was in my own quiet residential neighborhood 3 blocks from home when I got into a situation I didn't know how to handle (I didn't know how to swerve!) and while I was trying to figure out how to get around the obstacle, I let the scooter slow down so much it fell over. My ankle was caught between the floorboard and the curb. Hiking sneakers are not good enough protection for ankles and the fibula broke in 3 pieces. Got to meet the firemen and EMTs in town and got a ride in the ambulance to the hospital. It was a very painful time, needless to say. The whole thing healed well and now I'm recovering from the removal of the 7 screws and one plate what were in my leg. In another few weeks I'll be healed enough to get back on the bike. The problem is, I'm now too frightened. This last fall, after the leg was healed from the break and physical therapy was over, I bought real riding gear and practiced some in a parking lot, (fell over once because I forgot to put my feet down when I stopped-DOH!) took an MSF course. Halfway through the second day, when we got to slow figure 8s I got so panicked and freaked out and sure that I could not do that exercise because I’d fall over and break my leg again, I ended up in tears and took myself out of the course. I have not been back on that scooter since that day. When I even THINK about riding, I get sick to my stomach. These days I can't bring myself to even sit on the scooter in the garage on its centerstand. Even reading motorcycle technique books makes me nauseous. My husband, sons, brothers, nephews, nieces and sisters ride. I'm just about the only one who doesn't. I bought the scoot so I could go on rides too. I was tired of being left home alone while everyone else had fun. Everyone but hubby is pushing me to get going again and even he doesn't understand why I am so frightened. At this point I am feeling too afraid and freaked out to ride. I want to ride, but I'm now so aware of the potential for injury and there is no way I want to go thru a broken anything ever again. It hurts too much and it takes way too long to heal. It's not like I didn't already know riding is a dangerous thing. I thought I was ready to accept the risk and wanted to be a skillful rider. Now? I don't know. How can I get over the fear? My brothers say just get on the bike and go, but I can't make myself twist the throttle. Thanks. – Shaking in my Motorcycle Boots Dear Shaking in my Motorcycle Boots, But what to do? At first I wondered if you were just riding because the extended family does, but in re-reading your message, I feel that you genuinely went into it because you wanted the adventure for yourself and not anyone else. This is a big factor in moving forward. If, in fact, you are doing it for anyone but yourself, then I'd say you need to think long and hard about all of this. Obviously the horror of the leg break, and everything you had to go through afterwards to heal, and we're glad to hear that you did in fact heal physically, isn't allowing for a "just get on the bike and go" feeling. I empathize, as I once had an accident and it took me a winter-into-spring timeframe to finally decide to fix the bike and go for it again! In cruising through my own site (!), I found RAF, who had a number of oopsies on the same bike, did take a class and enjoyed learning more, but as of last May, was going to put on a TowPac MiniTrike conversion. I have emailed RAF for an update. While this conversion is not cheap ($2500 plus ship/handle for the 8" wheel conversion you would need), it may be the solution you seek to move forward. You would be able to ride with your family without worrying about falls. On that site, you'll see a picture of your bike in a scooter conversion, and I think it looks really nice! What's also nice, is that this type of conversion doesn't remove the rear wheel, but adds one on each side, and can be added and removed as you wish. That means you could get some riding time and regain confidence, and should you want to try two-wheel again, it can be taken off for that! Give that some thought while I wait for RAF to check in and give us more information. – Mama Monday, March 17 For Shaking who is trying to get back to riding her Morphous scooter after a bad leg break: My heart just went out to her. I know what she she means by getting nauseous about trying to sit on the bike, using the throttle, etc. and her fall had much more serious consequences than the dumps I took. I hope what I share with you will encourage her. I did have the Tow-Pac conversion kit put on in May, and have never regretted it for a minute! I am doing what I had wanted to do--ride--and without having to deal with the balance issues, and I am having a blast! I went from having only about 100 miles on the bike before I took the MSF course----with most of those miles put on by friends who would take the Morphous over to the parking lots for me so I could practice---- to having almost 1000 miles on it! I am so proud of those miles! On my first couple of rides, I was still a bit nervous, but it was a completely different kind of nervousness--the excited, anticipating kind! Riding with a kit on is different, and you handle your bike differently, but it is definitely just right for me. I have gotten to experience the fun and love of riding that my friends would talk about. I could only imagine what it was like before I had the kit put on, because all I felt was uptight, scared, and sick to my stomach. But having the kit put on my bike has made a world of difference, and now I love my bike! I ride with a group of 6 friends, and except for one gal who has a 650 Yamaha V-Star, the rest have scooters. All of us except one of the group are new riders. All of us newbies took the MSF course last summer at different times, and have our first bike for the first time in our lives as well. The age of us riders are from 41 to 78!! The 78 year old has both a black Yamaha Morphous that he rides as a 2-wheel, and a Honda Goldwing with a Voyager trike conversion kit on it, which he rides more often. We 6 riders rode together all summer and fall, whenever 2 or more of us could get together--- honing our skills, encouraging each other, seeking and giving suggestions, and just having a great time together! Our last ride was in November. We went to a nearby restaurant on a cloudy Ohio day with 40 degree temps. But it was one of the best rides for several of us, me included! I have a few friends who don't ride who like to joke with me about my extra wheels, but they also have told me that they are impressed and in awe, as they would never attempt it--extra wheels or not! I have never had anyone be rude because of the kit. Instead I have gotten to meet alot of neat people because of having this kit on. People will come up to look at the bike and ask what kind of bike it is, and then ask all kind of questions once I tell them it is a regular 250 cc scooter with a Tow-Pac trike kit. I kind of feel like an embassador for the Tow-Pac company, and I am more than happy to share my joy! The greatest compliment I ever got was when I and a friend had pulled into the gas station to refill, and a gentleman on a motorcycle pulled up on the other side of the pump. He got off his bike, came over with the biggest smile on his face, and asked, "What kind of sweet little ride is this?" I am so happy that I didn't give up trying to ride altogether, but went your advice to "go with my gut feelings and trike it." I am so proud of myself, and am having so much fun. I am looking forward to another season of riding, and the skill I will continue to build , and all the fun adventures and trips I am going to go on, with friends, and on my own. I hope that Shaking in My Motorcycle Boots or anyone who has been having problems with learning to ride, will find the path that works for them, so they can experience the thrill and fun of riding that they are longing for. Thanks again, V-Twin Mama, for being there for people. Hugs, – RAF (note from Mama: I appreciate the update on your conversion and how it's going ... it's certainly an idea for Shaking to consider! ) Thursday, April 3 Hi Petra, Last week, in my search for more lady rider sites, I came across "Lace Wheels." I clicked on the Alabama link and low and behold there was your name! And in Mobile no less! I feel like I won the lottery! My, sorta long, tale is as follows. (It has a happy ending) Several years ago I started riding a little (80cc) scooter. Got the big head and bought a big Burgman 400 a year later. My riding goes down hill from there. I dropped it so many times till it didn't scare me anymore. I searched near and far for help to learn to ride it with absolutely no luck. I couldn't even find a private rider coach any closer to Mobile than Texas..... believed me I searched for months and months. One guy finally talked me into taking the MSF course.... he said I could learn to ride the Burgman by taking the course. I took one day of the course then had to drop out. (Will explain that later on) It would not have helped at all to learn to ride the Burgman. On to the MSF happening. Near the end of the first riding day I got so jittery until I couldn't go back for the next exercise and dropped out. However, I rode the 250cc motorcycle without mishap the short time I was there. I calmed down enough to get me and my truck home safely after that but did cry all the way home and for a few hours afterwards. Later that evening, after sorting out what happened to me, I realized I did pretty good in the class and the reason I got the jitters was because the learning curve was going a bit fast for me. Later that evening my very supportive husband called from work and said "I know you can ride and we're going to get you a motorcycle to learn on." A week later I had a 2005 Honda Rebel 250 with only 357 miles on her. (She beautiful and named Rebelgirl) Off we went to the parking lot for practice, with Bob riding her over for me. I did well that day and the next as well, pretty much following what I was taught in the MSF course. The third day Bob said "it's time to learn to shift gears." Oh no, jitters again! Our neighborhood has a 1 mile loop in a quite, tolerant area. (Nobody calls the police to me....lol) Off I went with Bob following me on his Shadow. By the third time around I was having a ball with the clutch and the gears.... why did I think it was going to be so hard? I wouldn't take having a clutch on a bike for anything.... no more scooters for me. Bob dropped off and just sat in the drive way watching me go round and round. The next day we go back to the parking lot for "turning from a dead stop." Yikes, jitters again but I learned to do it. Bob did a demo first, right in front of me and I took it from there. My jitters come from trying to handlebar steer the Burgman... what a fright that was! It amazed me the way the motorcycle responded to slow speed handle bar steering. Never once felt like it was going to fall over. (Bless that clutch) The following day I decided to put us on the real road for the first time. We road ten miles out and back with one stop at a gas station. That stop was scary but I pulled up to that pump like I knew what I was doing.... no embarrassing "duck walk." Not that I still don't have to "duck walk" quite often but that will pass eventually. We made the same ride the next day as well. The following day back to the parking lot for slow cone weave practice, but I rode Rebelgirl over instead of Bob having to do it for me. I watched "Ride Like a Pro" over and over until I felt ready to do the weave..... what fun that was! To me there is nothing more fun than to practice slow speed, handle bar steering exercises. I'm in awe of what a motorcycle can do without falling over...... she never once felt like she was going over! I need lots more practice but I'm not so scared of it now. (Having said that, I've not gotten to the "off-set" cone weave yet.lol) That brings me to the end of the tale for the moment. My husband is gone now for the next four weeks so I have to bite the bullet and take the bike out on my own without my "Shadow." He's a captain, out in the Gulf so he isn't home very often, and only for two weeks when he is here. If you know of any other new lady riders in the area that might want to get together to practice or take rides together please pass along my information. I live in Tillman's Corner, AL, Mobile county. You might want to pass along also I'm not a spring chicken..... I'm 65 but that's not too old to learn to ride.... I'm living proof! I want to thank you so much for the "jitters" pages on VTwin Mama! They worked a miracle for me. Everybody has "jitters" when they're new............sheeeeeeeesh, I thought I was the only one! Bless you for the great work you do for us, – Diana T. Dear Diana, What a wonderful recap of your learning curve you have shared! In doing this, you have now helped the next person in line who wonders, "Is it just me?" Well, as you found out, it's not! Kudos to you for sticking with it and realizing that learning can take time and many steps! – Mama
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