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For Minidiva who is researching a pair of new boots: Just like everyone else, "Thank-you" for a great site. My day wouldn't be complete without reading your page. [thanks!] I'd like Minidiva to know that I ride with Ariat Boots (style #37129) and love them. They are what I had available at the time of my MSF class and found that they work great. They have the sole she's looking for, the leather she describes, and the heal is perfect. I ride a Sportster 883 Custom with forward controls and find the heel is just right for fitting on the pegs and staying put. In other words, I can relax and my feet won't slid off. Besides, they are the most comfortable shoes I own and that means I don't have to bring along another pair to change into to walk around in when we get to our destination. Another thing worth mentioning, they don't get the "mark" or "scuff" every one complains about from the shifter. Mine are the dark brown leather, but I know they come in black. I don't think she'll be disappointed with a pair of Ariats. Happy riding, Denise (note from Mama: thanks for sharing!) I can tell you what I did. Being 4'11" I needed to have a higher boot also to be flat footed. I don't see you wearing a "high heel." Don't do that! The heel can get stuck and down you will go. You may not get a sturdy balance when stopping in them either. Instead go for a regular thick soled motorcycle boot (mine are Harleys and not platformed). Buy a 1/2 size to a whole size larger. Fill it with two to three insoles with a heel riser on the inside to make you taller. You can find all the insoles at your local drug store. Really there is not much difference in look and the size larger does not interfere with riding or walking. As a matter of fact, my boots feel better than tennis shoes and my legs never tire walking around at events! Happy Riding, Kathy H. (note from Mama: thanks for bringing up this "internal" solution . . . I had forgotten that one!) Monday, September 18 For Kat who is tackling deep curves on highway entrance ramps: The only thing I would add to Mama
Ps advice is this: Dont forget to practice it during a low traffic
time. Monday, September 18 For Anon who has a Honda Aero, may want a new seat, and I noted maybe handlebar: I have the 2004 Aero. Stock seats are made to sell the bike in the show room and maybe a short test ride, after that you're on your own. There is a break in period for your seat and your bum. I have 9,000 miles on my bike and can go all day (guess I got broke in, cause 30 mile got me when I first got my bike). Still have the original seat. I did put a Utopia Back Rest on, it helped with my lower back. Pullback Riser from the Magna, for my shoulders. I know a couple people that swear by those Gel/Memory foam seat pads. You could give that a try. Happy Riding, Jennifer WV (note from Mama: thanks for sharing the modifications you made and the added thought on adding a seat pad (which can be internal or external to the seat.) Monday, September 18 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Debby, Messing up is a rite of passage, and if you think that's the sole province of new riders, you are mistaken! Just yesterday I was giving a riding lesson and dropped the bike in a tight right turn demonstration. Bashed the floorboard, but we persevered. I've been riding 26 years, so I'm here to tell you that not only are you NOT ALONE, but that learning is learning, no matter what experience level the rider has! I found the adrenalin rush amazing, but shut the bike down, turned my back to the bike, started the proper lift, and we got the bike righted. Definitely review the proper pickup technique for future reference. In regard to the embarrassment . . . the problem with hiding, instead of talking it out, is that we then are basically saying to ourselves, "I've got something to be ashamed about." Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, there will be concern, sometimes followed by yelling (at ourselves and/or by another), but hiding accomplishes very little. In my opinion all it does is then set up the jitters. How can anyone help if you hide? Learning the smooth takeoff does indeed take practice. If you start with a bit of steady throttle, then ease out the clutch a bit, you'll find that you can duck walk the motorcycle along. If the bike is chattering or stalling, that's your clue that just a bit more steady gas is needed. It's the steady throttle that really helps and don't forget . . . if you feel like you're rocketing too fast forward, pull in that clutch lever first to remove additional power, then apply light brakes. Another thing I noodled out yesterday (working with Brooke on her Ridley auto tranny) is that starts can be shaky at the handlebar and front end when the rider doesn't pick up both feet together. My theory was that is throws off our personal center of gravity, which is at the hips. When we pick up one leg, then the other, there is a small shift of our bodies, which can cause some problems. Brooke practiced my theory and we were pleased to find that the smooth, even pickup of both feet in fact took away the twistie action at the handlebar, allowing her begin mastering a tight right turn from a stop . . . she "danced" with the bike very nicely! When we rode our bikes back to the house, I noted that I do pick up both legs in a balanced motion . . . have done it so long, I never really thought about it! Learning, learning, learning . . . So, dry your tears, stop beating yourself up, talk with
hubby, take a deep breath, and when your leg is ready, try again. And
again, and again. To ride a motorcycle is to choose to learn for a
lifetime . . . so if your goal is to ride for a lifetime, let learning and
sharing be your personal mantra! It's mine and has served me well . .
.
Mama Monday, September 18 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Terry, There are most definitely products on the market that
can be rubbed on windshields and face shields, then residue polished off,
that will arrest fogging concerns. It's imperative that you understand
what your shields are made of (usually a plastic composite). Home remedies
include taking a dab of dishwashing liquid, toothpaste, or Lemon Pledge
and rub in and buff. In all cases, the shields need to be cleaned first.
I'll add that manufacturers are also now making face shields with built-in
anti-fogging characteristics. This is something you may wish to explore
with the manufacturer of your helmet!
Mama Monday, September 18 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear CL, Monday, September 18 Dear VTwin Mama, My partner recently got a 650 Yamaha and loves it. I figured it would be an interest that I would not be able to really share in. I have no desire to learn to clutch and shift, and that's too many things to have to do at once for me. I looked at many scooters when we went to the motorcycle shops, but did not like how my feet did not touch the ground, or the feel of them. But there was a Yamaha Morphous at one of the cycle shops. Reluctantly I sat on it, and was amazed by the feel of it. My feet touched the ground and I liked how the weight was centered below me and how it felt to me. I thought for the first time that I would like this, and would actually be able to share in my partner's biking interest. I love riding my bicycle and thought this would be wonderful too. I went back several times, and loved it. I bought the scooter, took the permit test, and passed with flying colors. Sounds great, right? Well we took it to a parking lot just around the corner from us for me to practice on. I dropped it as we were getting ready to leave the lot for home. Since then I have been very scared about trying to learn to ride it. I'm having trouble not hitting the throttle when I shouldn't, smooth starts and stops, and leaning into turns . . . basically everything there is to riding a scooter or a motorcycle. How do I get over this fear that makes me sick to my stomach every time I sit on the scooter, so that I can be confident and make this scooter my own? I know that being fearful is one of my worst enemies in being successful in this new endeavor. I hope you can help me. It's a beautiful scooter, and I would like to learn to ride it well, and enjoy a new type of adventure. Thank you for your time and assistance. RAF Dear RAF, Given that you entered the adventure with great trepidation, I'm not surprised to hear that an oopsie has really shaken you up. The bottom line is that with any type of motorcycle, there are risks involved, but then there are risks in riding a bicycle as well, which I'm sure you know. But even there, you didn't just hop onto a bicycle and go, go, go. It took practice and learning to master the balance, etc. Knowing that you would in fact like to give this your
best effort, so that you can join in your partner's new activity, I'd take
that step to find a scooter class or inquire about a private instructor to
assist in your learning curve. Then you can make your final determination
if you wish to continue.
Mama Monday, September 18 Hi VTwin Mama, I'm NOT ready (in terms of both skill and finances!) for a new bike - however, I know eventually I will want to upgrade. Here's the catch: I'm 4'11", 100lbs with a 28" inseam. AND I really want a standard ride, not a cruiser. My (tall) girlfriend who rides a BMW 650GS is convinced that the BMW 650CS with a lowering kit would work for me. My concerns (of course) aren't just managing a bigger bike on the road, but (more) managing parking, walking it around, etc. The 320 lb Honda is already a challenge for me because I have to move it on the balls of my feet. I have to really watch for pavement level, etc. What do you think? And, BTW, you're my hero for creating this site. Where else could a 4'11" female rider get such support?! Thanks a million. Laura Dear Laura, Yes, at your height, a standard (often referred to as sporty) style motorcycle is a challenge on lowering options. In looking at that BMW 650CS, I noted that the seat height is 30.7" but there is a seat option to bring you down to 29.5". Still, that's awfully high for a rider of your height and inseam. As I can't find the seat height spec on that Honda you have, I'd center the bike, measure things up (lay something flat across the seat and get a level measure), see what you would need to modify in the seat to get you flat footed, and then compare that to the BMW at 29.5". Yes, if there is a lowering kit for the BMW, great, but exactly how much will it lower you? Is it going to be enough? I don't have the immediate answer. While I'm glad to hear that your girlfriend is enjoying her 650GS, you may wish to open up your eyes on available models, and the corresponding seat heights, weight, and lowering options. Shop! I find a quick(er) way to do that is to go to the WantFacts site and use their search engines to call up lists! You've got time! You may also wish to hop over to women's sites that
cater specifically to sporty riders. Those can be found by visiting my Women's
Sites page. I do have some sport bikes listed on my Motorcycles
for Short Riders page that could be of help also.
Mama Tuesday, September 19 An update on the She-Moto site . . . Tiina Perttu's jacket designs are now on the site, and just as beautiful, unique, and functional as I recall seeing at the 2006 AMA Women & Motorcycling Conference. My favorite is the Moto-Cause design, which incorporates a leather ribbon (pink, red, or purple, depending on your research support on breast cancer, HIV, or domestic violence) in the top and side body as well as the sleeves. Devine! Check out all five styles and additional products for yourself at She-Moto. Tuesday, September 19 Hello VTwin Mama, Dear Alicia, Tuesday, September 19 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Copperredd, Tuesday, September 19 More for Anon who has a Honda Aero, may want a new seat, and I noted maybe handlebar: I agree that the message from Anon about lumbar support is probably handlebar reach. I have to share something with VTwin Mama readers that made a huge difference on my bike and has made me totally excited about riding again. I have a '05 Honda Shadow Aero that I got last October. First thing I did was replace the stock seat with the Corbin Dual Touring Saddle. What a huge difference that made. The seat is made to the rider's size and specs sent in to Corbin. Although the seat did cost a bit, it was well worth it for the comfort and fit that it gave me on the bike, not to mention the aesthetic appeal (gray leather with chrome rail to go on silver and white bike). I looked at the seat backs when I bought the seat, but I wasn't sure if I would like the way it looked, nor was I sure if I would like the way it felt, in addition to the extra expense. A couple of months ago I had the opportunity to sit on a friends bike with a Corbin seat and back rest. My initial impressions were enough to get the seat rest. A month after my order was placed, I got the seat back. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I had no idea that the addition of the seat rest would drastically improve the way my whole body fits on the bike. That support somehow or another puts my hips at the right angle that naturally brings my knees into the tank. I feel so much more confident on the bike. That extra support in the back helps me be physically comfortable on the bike, and mentally comfortable, as I am sitting in my bike, not on it. Additionally, where as before I felt that the handlebars
were too far away, with my new seating position, I sit more naturally and
closer to the handlebars. I still wouldn't mind a set of risers, but for
now I am good. The Corbin seat and seat back may not be the right
solution for everyone, but I swear by it. Also I get lots of compliments
about my bike, and a lot more looks with the seat back. I would not enjoy
my bike nearly as much without these. Tuesday, September 19 For Debby who ouched on an oopsie and is working on smooth starts: I have been riding for about 6-8 months now and I know
about starting from a stop. I kept feeling the bike tip every time I would
start and stop. I took dropping it 2 times and almost 2 more before I
figured out my problem at least. I was stopping and turning my wheel the
direction I wanted to go when I moved, so if I wanted to turn left I would
stop with my wheel turned to the left and the same for a right turn, my
bike wanted to lunge to the ground. Tuesday, September 19 Dear VTwin Mama, Currently I am a member of the Virago Owners Club and the VMAX Owners Association. Here is my current web link (sometime this Fall I hope to have my website www.classiccarbsandmore.com on line). Right now I own 5 "riding" bikes a '84 Yamaha XV1000 a '85 VMAX and a '84 V65 1100 Honda Magna, a '86 Yamaha Fazer 700, and a '84 Honda VT700 Shadow. In the past year I have also owned a '85 XV1000 Virago, a '85 Yamaha Maxim 700, a '84 XV700 Virago and a "83 VT500 Honda Ascot. I like bikes ya might say! I'm closing in on my 200th carburetor restoration, and my customers are always very happy to recommend me as a source of professional carb work. I am very humbled to say that one of my recent XV1100 Mikuni restored carbs just sold on eBay for over $600, and a similar set of XV750 carbs went for $320. When you invest in my services, you get your money's worth! I hope that you do not
consider me too bold in suggesting myself as a source of professional
repair, But I do feel that I can offer a proven method of restoring
excellent carburetor function and reliability. Many thanks in advance,
Mike Belluomo, Classic Carbs & More in
Wichita, KS Dear Mike, Tuesday, September 19 Hi Petra, I went on my first road trip this weekend . . . 250 miles each way. It was totally awesome, except for one thing. After about 100 miles, I got a deep burning sensation in my back between my shoulder blades. It would not go away. We rode down on Thursday, and back on Saturday, but the pain was even worse on Saturday coming home. I tried breaks and stretching, but even Motrin wasn't much help. This was the only fly in the ointment . . . my bum got a bit numb, but that went away with a little break now and again. On the way home, I was stopping about every 50 miles, but still the pain between the shoulder blades. Anyway, is this common? Maybe a handlebar issue, or simply more riding and better conditioning? I ride a stock HD 2005 883 custom. Any suggestions? Thanks, JoJo Dear JoJo, The two most probable causes of your pain between the shoulder blades are stress and/or strain. Stress can potentially come from the added "pressure" of being on a longer run, the necessity to hold your concentration for longer distances, and any other worries buried in your subconscious. The result could have been that you were holding your body in a tighter position or even perhaps a slight deathgrip on the handlebar. I'm thinking it's more likely a strain that didn't manifest itself in short, local rides. One cause could be your neck. Longer distances put more strain on your neck, especially when wearing a helmet, but can appear even if you don't wear one. All that wind at your head adds strain to the neck, which can travel down to the shoulder blades. Did you find yourself massaging your neck or rolling your head to loosen up the neck on your breaks? That would be a clue. Of course the helmet you are wearing (if that's applicable) could be the culprit, but I find that every year I need to "get used to" the added tug at my neck and it goes away within a few long distance rides (and will note that my full face provides a more streamlined wind flow than my half helmet, which tugs, and is even worse with that mini-visor . . . if I take off the visor, I can tell the better wind flow ease immediately!). Then we move to your sitting position. Yes, the reach to the handlebar could be contributing to your less-than-perfect comfort but it also could be a function of wind hitting your chest for longer times, impacting your back, with your shoulders trying to compensate for everything. So, if you don't have a windshield, you may wish to consider adding one. If you have one, then I'd hone in on the sitting position. That could be the seat, the reach, and in another letter today, a rider noted that the addition of a rider's backrest made a world of difference. I'll add that strong stomach muscles, which support the back, does make a difference! I know what you mean about the pain lodging in your
system and despite breaks at shorter intervals, you couldn't shake it. My
advice is that the next time you ride, get up to cruising speed and pay
attention to the small differences at your neck and back as you go from a
light 40mph up to say 65mph. Where do you feel an immediate difference to
your body. That should offer some good starting points.
Mama Tuesday, September 19 Dear VTwin Mama, My partner and I took and passed the MSF class in July and then bought brand new Kawasaki Vulcan 500s. We'll be taking them in for their 500 mile checkups this week. During our first several weeks, we practiced in our neighborhood and only after building confidence did we go for those early weekend rides out on the main roads. Unfortunately, while doing slow-mo stuff to get used to a 500 instead of the little 125 she trained on at MSF, my partner dropped her bike a couple of times. Once during a Figure-8 . . . it went down so quickly that she was still astride as it hit the ground. She smacked her (helmeted) head on the pavement and dinged up her knee, elbow and wrist. She was really scared of the bike after that, and I didn't think she'd ever get back on. But a few days later, after watching me go out to practice every evening, she was back on her bike and building back her lost confidence. Now we're extending our range and venturing out more and more. On Sunday we rode over 100 miles, mostly on 55 mph roads with ample curves, hills and various traffic and environmental challenges. My only question is how much protective gear do you think is too much? Beyond my helmet, gloves and boots, I always wear a TourMaster jacket with armor, and after her fall, I also purchased a pair of "adventure pants" which are like silky long underwear with padded hips, tail bone and knees to wear under my jeans. I figure a fall at my age could put me out of commission for a good long time, so better safe than sorry. But I'm beginning to hate "gearing up" and can certainly understand how people end up riding with far less. Here's a picture of me and my bike taken after our marathon ride on Sunday. Back home safe and sound. But as my partner said, it looks like I'm wearing a fat suit because of all my padding. :-) Best, Susan Dear Susan, You haven't seen a "fat suit" until you've seen me during winter. I'm not a fan of chaps, so I wear workmen's bib overalls with thermal lining, a turtleneck, sweatshirt, jeans, thermal underwear, and double socks underneath, and then layer the jacket, gloves and helmet on. I look like the Michelin Man! I think my smile compensates for the padded look! The balance of comfort and protection in riding gear can be a fine line. I think the hatred of gearing up is more prevalent in the hottest months . . . heck I even looking at my riding boots and jeans with distaste! However, you'll never catch me without boots, jeans, gloves and helmet. None of that shorts and flip-flops stuff for me! I think if you ever talked with an accident survivor, you would quickly overcome your gearing up issues. If want a taste of that, hop over to my Accident Survivors pages. This is not to shock you into submission, but to let you hear their voices for yourself. The latest posting is a road rash healing letter that serves as a stark reminder of the role that protective gear plays. Of course the risk choice is ours, but should be made
with great care.
Mama Tuesday, September 19 Dear VTwin Mama, I hate how my leather chaps feel (and how chubby they make me look). OK - so I AM a bit chubby but my off-the-shelf chaps are too baggy and thus really accent the big leg look and I hate the sheer bulk of them when trying to roll up and put in saddle bags after the day warms up. Custom made chaps cost a fortune and still take up too much space and seldom come in neat colors to match your jacket or bike paint, so this seems like a great alternative. Eager to hear anyone who has tried these out. Anyone know of a company that makes leather chaps in let's say red or yellow or snakeskin leathers??? Dorathy Biddinger Dear Dorathy, So, I begin my musings with a basic overview of Cordura. From one website I found out that Cordura is an "air treated" nylon fabric originally designed by DuPont, characterized by a rough, fuzzy texture on the outside and a somewhat rough texture on the inside, and the chief advantages are that it's abrasion resistance and light weight, but not necessarily as easy to waterproof. From the Vegan Motorcyclist site, I learned that Cordura comes in a number of thicknesses, so this is definitely something to consider. From this site I also saw that they listed a number of non-leather alternatives, although most seem to be pants rather than chaps, but explore some there! Of course your heavy duty leather chaps, while being a pill to roll up and store and can feel bulky, offer a level of protection and could potentially be altered by a good tailor who handles leather . . . I'd call around . . . and will add that the nearest motorcycle leather shop usually has alteration people on staff or has a freelance alterations person on call! If you still wish to proceed with lighter weights, I'd also be searching for Kevlar chaps . . . lightweight but highly abrasion resistant and they do exist! Ok readers, who has input on this one?!
Mama Wednesday, September 20 Dear VTwin Mama, I am just curious if there are any other women riders in the Dothan, AL area. I see a few once in a while but not many. My husband and I ride mostly on back roads so maybe that is why I don't see many. If there are any out there and they want to chat, I can be reached at camysworld@yahoo.com. C.W. from Hartford Dear C.W., Wednesday, September 20 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Brenda, Wednesday, September 20 More for Debby who ouched on an oopsie and is working on smooth starts: Hang in there. I'm 44, and rode a bike for the first time this past February. Yes, I dropped it, 4 times. Twice because "something funny happened" and twice because, well, I forgot to put the kickstand down (please tell me your laughing with me and not at me right now . . . ). ;-) The "something funny" turned out to be because I did not have my front wheel straight when I stopped. On a bike like mine (HD Sportster), this will tip it right over every time. Unlike you, I cannot pick my bike up. On all four occasions I had a huge bruise and "goose egg" on the inside of my leg that took weeks to heal. I have almost 2000 miles on my bike now and have not dropped it again. Not to say I haven't made some other dumb mistakes (which I won't go into here), but time will help your back, and it will help your riding. Good luck and don't worry . . . no one is born doing everything perfectly. We all have to learn, and make mistakes doing it. Hugs, JoJo (note from Mama: we are definitely chucking with you about the kickstand oopsie . . . it happens lots, but not many 'fess up! Motorcycles will tip at the smallest of indiscretions, and a cocked wheel, unless you're duck-walking it using the clutch friction zone, spells trouble!) Wednesday, September 20 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear janinw, It's not unusual to despair when a motorcycle isn't quite right and we're not aware of solution sets that may be available. In your case, there are in fact kickstand kits specifically designed for motorcycles that are lowered. I would head to the local dealer, go to the parts department, tell them your year/make/model, and let them open up their many aftermarket catalogs and find the solution for you! If you feel the change/modification is beyond your capabilities, then walk over to the service department and ask what they would charge to install the new part. Because I'm guessing that riding the bike over to the
dealer is going to be dicey, take a few pictures so that these people can
see what's going on!
Mama Wednesday, September 20 For Terry who is having fogging challenges: My Arai helmet does have an anti-fogging setting. Yes, it works! Or consider the anti-fogging/cleaning spray used for snorkel masks. That comes in tiny bottles that would be easy to have to hand. I have the Arai Profile, a new line last year that replaced the Signet (it's called the Viper GT in Europe.) While Arai is pricey and requires extra care, it is the best fitting and most customizable helmet on the market. All Arai helmets are handmade. They have several lines, each of which are designed for one of the three basic head shapes: long oval, round oval, and intermediate oval. While Arai liners are one piece multi-density, the cheek & ear pads can be customized /thicker or thinner for optimum fit. It has great air flow over the top of head as well; two top back ports and two top front ports. The chin has two open positions. The face shield has two brow vents to open or close. But it is an amazingly quiet helmet, and cool in 90 degree riding. It is extremely light and comfortable, has a very aerodynamic shape. When I turn my head to check side lanes, I do not notice any 'wind tug'. The lining is very soft, the Arai site says: "When you build the shell to do its job, you do not have to ask the liner to help. They are all about rider protection and comfort. That said, I got mine on sale for about $380 w/tax. Because of the handwork, never spray directly on the shied, only on a clean soft cloth then polish the shield. Never get any cleaner on the 'rubber' or any glued areas. But you shouldn't spray directly on any shield. AND NO Windex! The Arai site, www.araiamericas.com, is an excellent read before buying any helmet just to be more fully informed about what to look for. Do read the how to fit section. Hope this helps. Jo (note from Mama: thanks for sharing specific notes on a helmet that meets your needs!) Wednesday, September 20 Hi Petra, Also, how would you slow down when going down a steep hill? Both brakes? Rear brakes? I would think with gears you would downshift, but can't do that with an automatic. It's a little hard to learn from others when you are the only one with the auto-tranny. Thanks for all of your inspiration! By the way, we are taking our motor home to Hatteras the first week of October and trailering our bikes. So that will be my only mode of transportation for a week. Wish me luck! I'm still a timid scaredy cat, but determined! This trip will be to celebrate my 58th birthday and our 9th wedding anniversary. Joan Dear Joan, So, what Brooke and I worked on was sequential. We headed to a big empty parking lot. First I set up a wide-open box end with tennis balls cut in half and we really worked on her head/eyes position. In the beginning, on wide open turns, Brooke really wasn't looking all the way through the turn, but with about 20 runs, she was doing much better. It helps to have someone watch you do a turn, observe what you're really doing with your head, and stand in the center of a turn, about 20 feet back, and yell "where am I am, look at me" so that your head can turn to the voice and help you understand where your head needs to be. With that under control, we proceeded. In this practice lot, we also had a natural right turn available and I set out tennis balls to mark the lane width to turn into. First, Brooke positioned herself in the left part of her lane. We started her about 25 feet back from the imaginary stop so that she had a running start to stabilize and then use the counter steer/balance to negotiate the turn. This was just to get her use to handling the turn at speed and within the lane. Within a few loops, she had it. Then we tightened up the approach length to 15 feet and it became more of a struggle. That's because there is less time to get feet up, the bike steady, and handle the turn. What I saw is that while in lots of normal situations her starts would be ok, in fact she was picking up one foot, then the other, creating a bobble at the front wheel/handlebar, and this caused a need for more time to get the front end situated before she could even think about the turn. That led to start/stop practice in a straight line, with a concentration of a smooth throttle and picking up both feet. Brooke immediately could feel that by picking up both feet evenly, her front end was steady the whole time (and I think throttle handling became less jerky as well as she had a steady position on the control). Then we went back to the turn, but still with 15 feet of "run" room. But now, within a few loops, and even feet pickup, she could make the turn within the lane. Now we removed the run room. I'll simply add that one has options at a stop. You don't have to pull all the way up . . . within 5 feet of the crosswalk marker, etc. suffices. This is fine as long as you can see the crossroad for traffic. With only 5 feet to ready for the turn, Brooke went wide quite frequently, but again, when she got her feet up evenly, she began getting the feel of everything more quickly and did get a few attempts where she was at the edge of the markers, but that's within the lane! I'll add two notes. First, the throttle on a Ridley does have handling characteristics that require practice to get the feel of a steady application. In it's own way, it must be mastered just like a clutch/throttle combination for manual tranny bikes. Second, when Brooke tensed in the counter steer, the front end of the bike stiffened up, and a turn was more difficult. I could see (and she could feel) that when she had it right, it was like a dance with the bike. I could see that when it went right, her left elbow tucked in and dropped down smoothly with the turn. I'm also going to add that in the Ride Like a Pro DVD, Jerry demonstrates that a turn can be made easier but a very small jog to the opposite side first. So, if you are approaching a right turn, jog a little to the left, then counter steer to the right. What happens is that in the slight jog to the opposite side, the bike gets "off" it's straight line approach, and the dance around the turn is easier. So, I'm hoping that in sharing these notes it gives you
clues on a practice session that I think will help you immensely!
Mama Thursday, September 21 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Anon, That got me to thinking about why neutral is actually between 1st and 2nd, so let's have some fun and explore a bit more. From Tim Kreitz at Timberwoof's Motorcycle FAQ site: "Actually, there is a specific reason why neutral ended up between first and second gear when motorcycle controls were standardized in 1975: SAFETY. In the 60s and 70s, there was a growing trend toward placing neutral below first gear. My nephew, for example, had a Kawasaki 100 with a '4 up' shift pattern (N,1,2,3,4). As this shift pattern gained popularity, more and more motorcyclists were developing the tendency to instinctively shift the bike all the way down into neutral as they slowed, sometimes accidentally, but most times intentionally. The idea was that you could stay in neutral at a light or stop sign, then clutch into gear and start rolling again when right-of-way was established. The habit was obviously flawed, and riders started getting hurt. The vast majority of injuries were caused when a bike was inadvertently upshifted from neutral into first gear at a fast coast. The resultant engine breaking caused instant rear wheel lockups, which in turn caused crashes. The mechanical aspects of neutral's location also caused various runability and logistical problems, as well. By locating neutral between first and second gears, the severity of engine breaking in the event of accidental upshift was reduced, as well as making neutral a relative inconvenience, rather than something riders depended on. It also made first gear the natural first position in the gear box, which is where the transmission should be adjusted whenever the bike is stopped in traffic anyway." And here's another answer from "Fish": "Neutral is in its odd location because that's where it makes the most sense to locate it. On a bike, you rarely need to be in neutral: you've got a clutch, which is your primary method of disconnecting the engine from the transmission. Indeed, you could go completely without a neutral gear, if you could stand the monotony of holding the clutch as the bike warms up, and turning off the bike whenever you got more than an arm's-reach distance from it. First gear, however, is extremely useful. It's great for starting in. And it's great for stopping in. It's really good for driving slowly, too. So it's at the bottom: as you approach a stoplight, you start to brake, and you tap your gears down to match your speed. If the light goes green before you get there, you're ready to rocket. If it's red, you keep the clutch in, and remain in first gear, ready to rocket. You never do go into neutral when you stop. As you leave the stoplight, you tap your gears up to match your speed. You never do go into neutral when you accelerate. Now, imagine the situation if neutral were located at the bottom: you start slowing for the light. You begin tapping down. You're almost stopped, you tap into neutral, the light goes green, you rev the gas, and you tip over because you're out of gear. The asshole behind you runs you over as your engine shoots a piston through your groin. Damn, that sucks. As it's absurd to place neutral between 2nd and 3rd, or any of the higher gears, no example needed." So, now we have some historical and realistic insights
on the placement of neutral. I hope this helps!
Mama Thursday, September 21 For Joan who also asked about slowing down a Ridley on a downhill: Joan had written (and I failed to address): Also, how would you slow down when going down a steep hill? Both brakes? Rear brakes? I would think with gears you would downshift, but can't do that with an automatic. Joan . . .all bikes have gears . . . the difference is whether you are manually engaging them or if the auto tranny bike is doing it for you. Consider an automatic car . . . on a steep downhill, you let off the gas and tap the brakes as needed. Same thing on the bike, but you choose whether you're using front, rear, or combo brake. The principles of braking for all bikes applies . . . front brake has about 75% of the overall bike braking capability, but is used when you are traveling in a straight line. More brake in a straight line is the combo. Rear brake is your better choice when in a curve. At no time should you jam on a brake as it will throw you over the handlebar (jam on the front brake) or put you in a skid (jam on the rear brake). Tap, tap, tap. Mama Thursday, September 21 Hey Mama, So . . . about a month ago, re-entered the wonderful world of motorcycling. 3 years ago I sold my Suzuki Savage 650 and took a riding hiatus. But you can't shake what is inside you and last month I got an HD XL883L. Fits me like a glove. I decided to consider this a brand new venture (as if I had never ridden before) and I took the class and passed. However, after taking the class I realized I was in danger of forming some bad habits. I have a question about curves/turns (as I see lots of folks do). Often times when I go through a turn or curve, I slow down, down shift, keep the clutch in and coast through, and as I am coming out (almost completely out) of the curve/turn, I SLOWLY release and accelerate to the proper gear I am in. The MSF class preaches "slow, look, lean, turn and accelerate". I understand this but when approaching, doesn't one have to shift down and subsequently let out the clutch while giving throttle? My fear in doing this is as I downshift/slow to the approach, I fear stalling for not giving enough gas. I want to slow into the turn and accelerate out. Not the opposite. I know all things with practice, but just looking for some "Mama-ly advice" here. Thanks! Denise Dear Denise, Let's look at riding like coloring a picture. For big areas, you use a fat tip marker to get the majority filled in, and then use a fine tip marker to fill in the edges of the outline perfectly. One chooses a gear to get into the proper range of speed and power. The throttle then can fine-tune that speed up or down a bit, slipping the clutch in and out of the friction zone can do the same thing (for slow speed turns), and the brakes can further fine-tune down as needed! Example: you're happily motoring along at 60mph in 5th gear when you see a curve coming up that is marked 40mph. Yikes! You could stay in 5th gear, release the throttle and use some brakes to bleed off the speed to get you in the right speed range, enter the curve, but then, when you're ready to accelerate, you've got mushy throttle. Or, on the approach, you can downshift and engage the clutch (as many clicks as needed) to bleed off speed and enter the curve with a full-range of fine-tuning controls (throttle and brake) at the ready! Now, a rider who is truly one with their motorcycle, can use all these tools with extreme confidence, including some coasting if they feel like it. But the fact is, the reason they can is that they know every nuance of their bike's handling characteristics, including the throttle response is every gear, whether they are at the low, middle, or high end of the speed in that gear. So if they downshift, keep the clutch in, get through whatever, and re-engage, they instinctively know where they are. This comes with many miles. You can practice this! Find yourself a nice long straight
piece of road on a low traffic day/time. Get up to speed, concentrate on the
firmness of the throttle response and then naturally let the bike slow down
a bit by backing off the throttle and then power up again. How much could
you slow down in that gear before the throttle became mushy? Mushy power-up
is your clue that you should have been in a lower gear to have correct
throttle firmness response at the ready! Ok, off you go to become one with
your motorcycle!
Mama Thursday, September 21 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Rockinrandallt04, Thursday, September 21 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Andy, Thursday, September 21 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Donna, All the best sources advocate the same things: slow down in general, treat slick metal and raised lane markings with great respect (avoid if possible, no sudden moves in bike handling or controls if unavoidable), and ride in the lane portion that has the least amount of accumulated car oil (you can see it beading up). Normal or emergency braking techniques do not change . . . the key here is that you give yourself more time when possible. The reality is that in an emergency you may find that you are going to go down faster than if you had full pavement traction. On that note, this is a Motorcycle
Cruiser
article of interest . . . it starts with a discussion on raingear, but
you'll find an excellent section on understanding the traction difference on
dry and wet pavement, how to test it for yourself, and how to get that
understanding into your overall battle plan. I think it will help you noodle
things out!
Mama Friday, September 22 Dear VTwin Mama, I have even been looking at trike situations to get me past the fear of flippin' over. Seems to me, all the staying alert ya have to do, and caution on 2 wheels, where is the fun and relaxation of the ride? . . . hmmmmm. Hubby is NOT happy cause I'm scared of it now . . . cause we spent quite a bit on this little 250. He thinks trike situations are even more unsafe, but even good riders, and MANY, put their 2 wheel bikes under at times. I just wonder if I need MORE wheels for the safety because I sure don't feel safe on 2, and probably won't ever . . . ya think? Debby Dear Debby, In your original letter you did not note that you have taken a riding course. It may be time to consider this. Not all teachers are created equal, and while your hubby dearest may have tried his best, it doesn't follow that he has the teaching/patience skills necessary. Hubby may be unhappy because he simply does not know how to help any more. Many classes are held year around and even in the northern states, they often continue on well into October. Hop on to my Learning to Ride page to see the schools available to you. If you wish to proceed on your own, with hubby's guidance, I would strongly advocate that you invest in several of the DVDs available from the Ride Like a Pro company. Jerry and Donna poured their hearts into creating visual learning guides that take you step-by-step through lessons. With these in hand, you and hubby could watch together and talk out the challenges you've already endured and he has witnessed. Create a battle plan! I can appreciate that the oopsies you've already been through have got you thinking about a motorcycle with more wheels. May I suggest that instead of abandoning the Rebel in favor of a trike, that you consider borrowing or renting an ATV (4 wheels) with a clutch so that you can get the feel of the clutch/shift/throttle combination under control without having to worry about tipping over. Many riders have written in that one day on an ATV helped their confidence level and was an important step in the learning curve. While I wouldn't characterize trikes as more unsafe than a two-wheel bike, they demand the same respect in terms of learning. Trikes have specific handling characteristics that must be considered and there are trike-specific classes for that (not as widespread, but they exist!). You are NOT ALONE in regard to your fear/anger. I think that many people are use to taking on a challenge and mastering it quickly, and more importantly, think that if they give it their best, all good things will follow. Learning to ride a motorcycle can be a real challenge to those cherished beliefs. Your fear is normal as you've had oopsies and your anger makes sense as you're replaying the oopsies over and over in your mind. The negative "video" you are replaying in your head is not helping. This negative visualization is eroding the very core of what you envisioned when you first got the Rebel. You've lost track of what propelled you into wanting to learn to ride in the first place. So, what was that?! Form a mission statement in your head, write it down, print it out, and tuck that piece of paper in a pocket of your riding jacket. Every time you walk up to the bike to take on a practice session, read your statement. Stay focused on the goal you have set out for yourself. Millions of women (and men) have faced the challenges, planned the steps, learned from the mistakes, gritted their teeth, straightened their spines, wiped away the tears, realized that learning is a process, and decided it was worth it. Is it still worth it to you?! Decide. And then get on with it. YOU CAN DO IT! The fun and
relaxation are the rewards for hard work and mastering of skills. Being
"one" with a motorcycle is very much like a dance, and the dance
is a joy that will be yours for a lifetime.
Mama Friday, September 22 For Andy who is noodling out a Moto Guzzi rattling noise: In doing my morning scan of the VTwin Mama page (my day wouldn't be complete without YOU!) I noticed Andy's question about his Moto Guzzi California. My husband rides one and I almost bought a Nevada before finding my Vulcan, so we're a bit plugged into the Guzzi community. There is a fun forum for Guzzi enthusiasts at http://www.wildguzzi.com. They were very kind to me when I posted questions about the Guzzi Nevada power, seat height, etc. Alas, in the end, my stubby little legs were too, uh, stubby to ride the Nevada comfortably, so we're still a multi-brand bike family. Anyway, I thought any of our VTwin Mamas who are into Guzzis might enjoy the Wild Goose Internet forum. They seem like a nice flock of riders. As always, thank you for my daily dose of motorcycle education. I love your website! Gila (note from Mama: thanks for pointing out this source of assistance . . . I have added it to my Help By Mfg/Model page! I'm glad you are enjoying your daily visits to the VTwin Mama site . . . my labor of love continues to build because of caring, sharing readers like you!) Friday, September 22 Dear VTwin Mama, For never having rode a scooter before, despite the fact that it is automatic, I think perhaps I rushed it. I have been able to go past my fear, and have started again, but this time with baby steps. We have a friend, Jim, who lives not far from us who used to ride motorcycles, and he said he would help me out. Last Sunday my partner drove the scooter over to the parking lot for me, and Jim had me just practice starting, stopping, and walking it around to reposition to go back down the lot. I got a better feel for the throttle, the brakes, and how to manage the weight as I turned it. We spent an hour practicing that alone. This is all we plan on practicing until I am proficient and confident in that and feel ready for the next step. I also back it up from where I have it parked here at home, turn it on, and practice getting it back up the slight incline back to its parked location. Does this approach sound like a good one? I have been reading many of the questions others have written you about the jitters and oopsies, etc, and have found it both reassuring and helpful. I look forward to checking out the website for the scooter information. [MSF's You and Your Scooter: Riding Tips booklet] I'll keep you updated about my progress. Thanks again for your website and assistance. RAF, aka the Scooter Baby (as my partner calls me) Dear RAF, I'm happy to hear that you have a friend to help, and yes, baby steps is a time honored tradition . . . they keep us moving forward and minimize frustration. I'm thinking that MSF booklet is also going to be useful in that it will bring forth a number of learning situations you may not be immediately aware of. Learning is the key! We wish you well on your next steps and I'm glad my
Jitters pages has shown you that not only are you NOT ALONE but that with
practice YOU CAN BE A CONFIDENT RIDER!
Mama Friday, September 22 Dear VTwin Mama, I tried the MSF class last weekend and having never driven a shift or using a clutch in my LIFE, I bombed, needless to say. I decided the shifting is just too much damn work. As much as I want a Harley I am going to go look at a Hondamatic 1977 CB750A 7,000 original miles on it the bike looks like it is in great shape no rust other than on the exhaust system which is original but we are talking 30 years of use here. The guy only wants $700 for it and from the resale and NADA places I have looked that is a fair price for this bike. I found the bike on eBay and was lucky enough that the guy is only a 45 minute drive away from me close enough for me to go and test ride it. I am looking forward to it and if I like the bike and it fits me then it will be in my garage by next weekend then I figure I can practice on turns and such at a local park down the street from me and then go take my tests at the DMV. To heck with the gears and shifting, if it means I can't ride a bike, then I will settle for a Honda and be able to ride. Someone wants to make fun of it then go for it its a great looking bike and I dont care. Susan Ashe Dear Susan, I'm sorry to hear that your MSF class proved to be an overload. Yes, some new riders take to shifting with no problems, while others struggle mightily. I have most certainly heard from a number of new riders who struggled and then chose the auto tranny method to become a solo rider, and once their confidence was restored, explored the possibilities of returning to their clutch/shift learning process. Do not rule it out! I'm glad to hear that if you get that bike, you'll be
heading to a safe practice zone to put yourself through the learning
lessons. Enjoy!
Mama More for Debby who is struggling with lots of concerns as a new rider: This is
also to bolster you up. I, too, had A LOT of nervousness and thought
I would never conquer my fright. I took the MSF course 8 years ago,
passed it, but skipped over a lot of the more difficult maneuvers. So,
when I thought I was ready for a bigger bike, I found out the hard way
that I was not. With a smaller, lighter bike I could ignore my lack
of good riding, but with a heavier bike I could not. I scared myself
silly, then gave up riding for 6 years. When I turned 50, I tried
again, and this time followed Mama's advice; practice, practice and more
practice. I put 300 parking lot miles on my new Harley Low-rider,
and it was worth every minute. I cried and was frustrated, many
times, but with constant practice I now have 2000 miles and have been
loving every minute!! If you really want it, it will happen for you.
I strongly believe it. Good luck to you-Lee, Harley rider from
Chicago burbs. And now an
update from Debby: Tuesday, September 26 Hi Mama, I made it through the written test and first day of courses smoothly, confidently expecting to get through our 2nd final day and examination with a passing grade. For her it happened, but for me, I missed a passing score by 1 point. One point. I try and rationalize it by thinking hey, we all did great today through the rain and wind and the amount of experience gained in just a few days was more than I would have expected. I still can't help but wonder, what happened? For now, I have to take the advice of all who have come before me and have just gotten back up in the saddle and passed the course. Thank you for the wonderful website and the encouragement it reads. And, although my partner should be very proud having passed even through Mother Nature's adversity, I need to graciously take this in stride and think of the wonderful experience I have gained over the several days of riding instruction . . . "tomorrow" I shall ride again . . . and PASS! P.S. Any words of wisdom on the figure 8 box? Is 1st gear better than 2nd gear? Donna Dear Donna, What you want to do is practice big wide turns to the left and then to the right and then in the figure 8 patterns, and as you get it, tighten up the boundaries. The key is relaxation, a concept that can be difficult for new riders, but it's important. When we stiffen up, especially in the shoulders and arms, the front end of the motorcycle stiffens up as well. A bike wants to go in a straight line and a turn is a lean motion not a steering maneuver. A turn is more easily navigated if we first jog (just a tad) in the opposite direction first. So jog a tad right and then bank into the left turn. This sets up the "off straight line" motion of the motorcycle. This is demonstrated in the Ride Like a Pro DVD and the visual is worth a thousand words and there are lots more practice tips. Lots of riders have noted they really "got it" after watching and following the practice segments. Here is a previous letter from an instructor on handling the figure 8 and gear choices. Good luck on your next course attack . . . having missed
it only by one point, you've got soooo many things right already . . .
just fine-tune things up a bit!
Mama Tuesday, September 26 Hello VTwin Mama, I am wondering if anyone out there has had any Desert Dawgs rain guards (or something similar) on a Sportster? I am thinking about getting a set for my '06 Sporty but I'm not sure they would be worth the cost. Do they really help with the spray off the road in rain? We have over 55 inches of rain a year in our neck of the woods and if you don't ride in the rain sometimes you don't ride period. Just wondered if anyone else had used the road guards. I've got a rough total of 21K miles ridden so far in two years on two different bikes and can't wait to put more miles down. Thanks for a great web site. I am hooked and can't keep away. It is almost as addicting as riding. CW from Hartford, AL Dear CW, Desert Dawgs are from Leader
Motorcycle Accessories and I've had the pleasure of staying in contact
with Top Dawg Tracey Cramer-Kelly as she steers her company forward. She
is a genuinely caring person who will make sure things are right! Through
October, you can save $10 on Desert Dawgs by using coupon code FALL06DD.
Mama Tuesday, September 26 Dear VTwin Mama, I did learn something though, how the littlest things such as riding gear can negatively affect riding skills. I have two pairs of Hi-Tec boots, one waterproof that I wear when riding, the other a pair I wear for work. Both are similar styles, but the other day when going to work, I felt like a bumbling beginner again, trying to shift, brake, etc. Finally I realized that my work boots just weren't sliding on the pegs the same way, were getting hung up on them in fact. When I came home I looked at the soles of both boots. There was a subtle difference in the grooves on the work pair which I assume are great for walking around on potentially slippery concrete all day, but not so great for moving around on a footpeg. Maybe some of the problems us newbies are having that create havoc can be addressed by looking at what we wear? Rhonda and I had this discussion yesterday, because she's been faithful about wearing gloves and a jacket when we ride, no matter how hot it's been. I ordered a different jacket, but for around town, I gave up and am just wearing a shirt. It was so awful hot yesterday, she finally decided to throw her jacket in the trunk (yeah it's really cute, the scooter trunk under the seat) and ride home without it. How safe can we be if we feel like we're passing out from all the gear? And I still can't find a pair of gloves that are comfortable, so have been being bad and not wearing them. I've always had an aversion to them, couldn't stand wearing them when I worked with horses either, because I lose my sense of touch. And of course MSF says fingerless gloves aren't much better than wearing nothing, so I don't know what to do. Oh, btw, the Airhawk cushion is awesome! It completely takes the pain away from my tailbone, and as I said before, puts me in a better seating position because of the slightly higher cushion (probably would be a problem for shorter riders though). I like the fact that it's easy to add or take out air; it's like blowing up a balloon. And so far my fat butt has not popped it, which was a valid concern! It's pricey, but having a pain-free ride is making it worth every penny. Rhonda says to say hello. She's having so much fun on that Burgman . . . shaved down the windshield the other day to make it sportier. She says she wants a little windshield like Bumblebee [VTwin Mama's BWM R1200C) has. I think the bigger class scooters are a great choice for someone looking at auto tranny bikes. She's much more daring on it, eager to go places. Yesterday we took a 50 mile round trip ride just to go for dinner (and then to Target, where we shopped for whatever we could fit in the two bikes. A multi-pack of toilet paper fits nicely in her scooter trunk!) Take care, Kat Dear Kat, I agree that overheating under gear is not a good situation as it is fatiguing and erodes concentration. This is always a difficult balance between safety and comfort, but as with all things, sometimes you start with one item, realize the deficiencies in the choice, and then have better clues on gauging the viability of what you're seeing out there in the marketplace. While I think that gloves with fingertips cut off are better than nothing at all, again, it's a choice. I'll simply add that whenever I'm at a dealer, rally, or even a ride, I keep my eyed peeled on gloves as it's such a personal fit (I hate material bunching up in my palm). It's like eyewear . . . you've got to try them on to find the right stuff! Yahoo to both you and Rhonda . . . you've come a long way
in accomplishments since you started and it's always fun to hear that new(er)
riders are getting to that more joyful portion of the riding experience!
Mama Wednesday, September 27 Dear VTwin Mama, A car came up behind her. All I can figure is it spooked her, and she headed toward the right side of the road. Once she went beyond the pavement and hit gravel there was no way out (as I watched helplessly in my rear view mirror) her body slammed into the guardrail and she launched over it. I turned around quickly, the car behind her stopped -- my bike never completely stopped moving as I jumped off it -- so it fell over, I leaped over the guardrail and dropped to my knees, she was groaning terribly. Her right thigh was swollen like a tremendous balloon. People started appearing, I yelled for them to call 911 and an ambulance, which they did. I kept talking to my friend so she wouldn't lose consciousness. Finally the ambulance came and took her to the hospital, they had to remove her broken spleen and stabilize her to life flight her to the trauma hospital. Her femur was shattered, her right wrist busted up, and some vertebrae fractured -- so far that seems to be the most of it. She wore a helmet, we did everything right, but somehow this just happened. She is still in serious condition and in intensive care. Her bike is really not bad -- mostly cosmetic and busted off the throttle assembly, a little scraping along the guardrail, but that's about it. I know soon she will be angry and if there is any advice how to talk to her, anything I can say or know to help -- if it were me I know I'd be really angry, such a stupid little thing to so dramatically change my life. I know for me I will never forget what I saw, pray I never see that again. I've been a bit spooked lately, but not really about myself, just other drivers I guess. Thanks for letting me share this story. It has also caused me to look very closely at my insurance. Be VERY wary, most policies either don't offer medical (or very little) . . . they assume you'll use your health insurance, but check with your employer to make sure they don't EXCLUDE motorcycles -- always worth checking! Take care out there everyone, be careful and be safe! Motomaestra Dear Motomaestra, There is no doubt that she will be experiencing a wide range of emotions as she begins the process of coming to terms with what happened. As you noted, you can only guess at what actually happened and the sequence of choices she made in that moment. I think that's a big clue in talking with her when she is ready. She'll need to know that you are there for her, especially as her recovery is going to be a series of steps over a longer period, both physically and mentally. Let her introduce and lead any review and discussion of what happened. If she asks for your observations, keep it simple (I noticed the car, I saw you move in your lane, I realized you had gone off the road, I got the fastest aid I could). My thought is that offering guesses, what you would have done, too many details, etc. is not appropriate, especially in this early stage. Smiles and hugs go a long way to helping. The skill of just listening is really put to the test, but now is the time to do your very best at it. She will also be worried about day-to-day details of her life that need attention . . . if you can assist here, it will take a load off her mind (you don't mention if she is married or has family nearby). I think the single most important thing you can do is be true to your word. Whatever she asks for, and you agree to, or whatever you offer and she says thanks, yes, should be followed-up with no exceptions or excuses. While this sounds simple enough, long-term recovery is taxing to both the injured person as well as family/friends. All of us have had life events where we are on the giving and receiving end of help. We not only find out exactly how much each person in our lives is willingly to be there for us, but as givers, what our own limitations are. Recognize your inner boundaries without apology. As a witness to the crash you are an accident survivor in a way as well. This means you are going through the stages of grief as well. Any should have, could have thoughts and emotions you are going through should be shared with another friend rather than your injured friend. In writing this letter to the VTwin Mama site, I feel you are beginning that process. Recounting the story by writing it out is one way to "get it out." Wouldn't it be nice if life came with a manual so that these
horrific events could be meet with greater clarity and confidence in how to
talk about and work through things? Well, I'm sure one of the most important
sections would simple state that a friend sticks around. I recall in helping a
friend once that I felt like I was fumbling in my efforts and told her so. Her
reply was that maybe that was how I felt, but the reality for her was that I
was there, fumbled words and everything. And that's the bottom line.
Mama |
