|
|
|
|
|
|
Viewpoint Home
|
2002 Monday, January 14 TV Program Notice This is a new TV show starting this month down around the Tampa, Florida area. Cindy Sandor has created it and is producing it as well. It is mainly created for women who ride motorcycles, but should be of interest to all riders. If you can access it, I think you will be very pleased. Time Warner: Channel 96 Wednesday, January 23 Dear VTwin Mama, "I am writing in response to your riding buddies article. First, let me say I think your magazine is great. I wish all of you all of the best with it. After reading your article, I had to write you about my new riding buddy. First, let me take a minute to introduce myself. I am a 42 year old male. I have been riding for about 34 years now, and my love for the sport of motorcycling has only gotten deeper as the years progress. I have been an MSF instructor for twelve years, and have been involved with a state run program for the past five years. Needless to say, I have had my share of riding buddies over the years. I met Nancy at a recent Experienced Rider Course. After class, we made arrangements to meet for a ride. Over the past few months, we have shared some great rides and some awesome quality time together. After the recent events in our country, this past September (both of us live near ground zero) this time spent together has been all that more special to both of us. Over the course of the past few months, something magical and wonderful has happened. Not only have I met the best riding buddy anyone could ever ask for, Ive also gotten the best friend, lover, partner in life and a new bride-to-be. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect this. Since my divorce, some 15 years ago, friends told me that when I met the right person, I would know it. It took a while, but wishes do come true. Motorcycling is one of the few things that has been good to me my whole life. The last few months have been the best in quite some time. Just when the world seemed cruel and out of control, along comes a new riding partner and suddenly all seems right in my world. I know the problems we all face as human beings still exist, but my motorcycles and my new love make the world just a little easier to take. Too bad more people dont ride the world would be a better place. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read my letter and good luck with your new endeavor. Yours truly, R.W. Brown P.S.. You know the saying Stuff Happens? Well, you know what, some times really good stuff happens also, and thats pretty cool. Not only have I met the sweetest woman in the world, she loves me, my dog, motorcycles and tools. Am I a lucky man or what? She also has two beautiful and terrific little girls. I love them all so much. Im not only lucky, I am definitely blessed. Motorcycles are really good for the soul." Nancy Dear Nancy, Dear VTwin Mama, My observation: Riding a motorcycle gives us so much to enjoy in life while we are riding down the road. Our eyes observe the beauty of the land....both flora and fauna. Our ears observe the sounds of the environment we are in. Our noses observe the various scents of the flowers and trees....and even the not so pleasant fragrances of the farms. Our sense of touch give us the observance of the temperature as we ride through the various areas....like riding along on a hot day when all of a sudden you find a cool pocket which then brings you back to the heat of the day. You don't feel this when in a cage. You become more alert to everything around you. Your mind may be in a relaxed mode, but yet constantly aware of everything that is taking place around you. Betty Dear Betty, I think there are lots of reasons that women find the desire to ride, but my contention is that ultimately, riding is cool. The kind of cool that transcends every other kind of cool (except having children perhaps). And you don't have to be a beauty queen, or model slim, or rich, or even gifted with a great brain. Guts to try, determination to succeed and chutzpah to tell anyone who pooh-poohs you where they can get off! I've never heard another motorist say, "Look, there's a fat woman on a motorcycle with no brains on PMS who couldn't get a man if she tried." No, they say, "Look, it's a woman on a motorcycle. Wow." And so we are free to be who we really are without censorship. That's cool. And from that comes the empowerment, the freedom, the respect. Mama Friday, February 9 For Betty about what gave us the desire to ride: The first reason I learned to ride was because I was bored sitting in the back -- think I'm a little hyper (I have learned to read paper-backs this way). My second reason -- I realized after I started to learn was that I was doing this for myself not for anyone else. Not for my kids, not for my husband (he was cool, he didn't care if I road pillion or not). This was totally my own thing. And I'm still very proud of myself for doing it. And of course I love all the stuff Betty and Mama mentioned too! Barbara in AZ Dear
Barbara, Dear VTwin Mama, First, I haven't rode a dirt bike in over 20 years and NEVER a street bike, so my husband and I decided to buy one street bike we could ride together for a nice enjoyable cruise and hobby we enjoy together, since the kids are getting older, (15, 17 & 23)! Boy, was that a mistake! After 2 weeks, I had to have my own bike! So, we bought a Honda VLX600 Shadow Deluxe, 2002 and I LOVE IT! I got my permit the following week, my husband already had his license, but he wanted to take the MSF course for additional learning and safety, so we took it together and I PASSED! I now have my license and all this happened in the last 1 1/2 months, never knowing I was going to OWN and RIDE my own bike! I have read of a couple Ladies that ride a bike like mine or similar bike, but almost everything I read about is Harley's. Don't get me wrong, I like Harley's, (my husband is going to buy one in the next year) but when you don't have one you feel a bit left out, almost as though you aren't good enough for the women that ride Harleys : ) Do women (or men) not like to associate with others that don't ride a Harley, or is that just my interpretation? It would be nice to chat with people that have bikes similar to mine to discuss things with, like where to buy accessories and riding experiences, but I would also like to correspond with ALL Biker Ladies! Again, I have nothing against anyone's decision to ride what they choose, I'm very comfortable on my Honda Shadow and don't feel I could ride comfortably on a bigger bike, especially when I NEVER planned on owning and riding my own bike. Also, women in my area seem to give me funny looks when I'm riding along side my husband, almost like there either jealous or that women shouldn't be riding bikes! Have any of you experienced this? Janine Dear Janine, As in anything you pursue in life, there will always be an "in" crowd and . . . everyone else. And as usual, the "in" crowd makes up a very small percentage of the overall population. Sure, you have to expect that the HD community is vast and the loyalties fierce, but what you may perceive as feeling a bit left out I think can more accurately be attributed to your newness in the community. Remember, many riders have been on the road for ages and they aren't always naturally curious about the "newbies" and won't necessarily go out of their way to welcome you to the circle. You'll find, over time, as you attend local rallies, travel more and join groups, you'll form your own circle and from there you'll more comfortably extend into the wider community of bikers. And of course we've all seen the "look." Ignore it. One of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz states, "Don't make assumptions -- preconceived ideas about what other people think can get you into trouble and rigid notions of how things should be lead to disappointment." So, go with your own flow. We're behind you 100 percent. Or, just wave cheerfully like you're on top of the world (because you are!) or stick out your tongue if you think it's a "catty" look. Have fun with it! Please consider contacting your local chapter of Women on Wheels and/or Motor Maids for support. Your husband sounds wonderful, but as we all know, women have a special way of communicating with each other that should be valued. Mama Monday, February 25 Here are two responses for Janine, a new rider with her own bike and questions: Here is the forum for the Honda Shadow VLX 600 that Janine should find to be just what the doctor ordered (http://forums.delphiforums.com/VLXriders/start). I am sure she will find all kinds of great information regarding the care and feeding of her new bike as well as some good comraderie from the other members of the forum. Jim and I are constantly on the Valkyrie site or the 650 V-Star or ISRA sites to learn more about our bikes and swap info with the other folks that ride the same bikes we do. Tell her I said congratulations to both of them on their bikes, and I hope they have miles of fun and enjoyment. Betty (Bootygrandma) Welcome to the fun world of riding your own bike! I have heard from some people who don't ride HD that there seems to be an attitude of "us" and "them." Frankly, I think you will find that type of attitude with just about any group. However, I don't think that is the norm. I ride a HD, but I am happy to ride and talk with ANYONE who rides their own motorcycle (whatever brand it is) and who is a passenger on any type of motorcycle. My thoughts are....hey, they are out on a motorcycle! Cool! In fact, I prefer to talk about where you are riding instead of what you are riding. As as VTwin Mama has said....we newbies may feel excluded from some conversations because more experienced riders know so much more about the mechanics, etc. So, I use those times just to listen and soak up the knowledge. Every little it helps. As far as the other women who you think are giving you certain "looks", just do as VTwin Mama says....wave and smile! Every time! After all, you are riding to please yourself...not others! Have fun! Sharon Thursday, March 21 Dear VTwin Mama, Well what do you know -- a motorcycle is much cheaper than a car to get running and I lived in Vegas at the time so what the hell I bought one. Of course it was too big looking and the seat height was too high but it didn't cost much and I got every bit of good out of it. I'm 5'2" so finding a bike my size and still being able to touch the ground is not fun. Anyway, what do you think of a Yamaha V-Star Custom 650? I haven't been able to find out much information from women that ride on this particular bike and I was wondering why. I'm also thinking of the Honda Shadow 750 A.C.E. I have yet to find a dealership in Oklahoma that I like the salesmen. They just have to emphasize that I need something like a 250 and as I'm not greatly experienced, I am no novice. Any thoughts or suggestions would be nice. Amy Dear Amy, As far as working with reluctant dealers, we started a discussion on that which can be found in the Viewpoints archive, starting on March 12 with Kimberly asking a question about bike price negotiation. Just scroll down to find some useful hints and tips about dealers. Hope these suggestions give you a place to start looking for more information. Also, read the next letter for Judi's experiences with buying a bike. Mama Thursday, March 21 Dear VTwin Mama, We started checking out cycletrader.com, Ebay and dealers on the net that were within a day's drive. We had one all picked out at one out of state dealer, but then one showed up on Ebay that we couldn't pass up to bid on because of the low price and no reserve. Needless to say, I won the bid and I bought my brand new Indian Scout with only 9.7 miles from a guy who won it with a $20 raffle ticket !!! He even paid the sales tax on it so we didn't have to. Overall, we saved about $5000 and probably about $3000 over the cheapest price quoted us from negotiating with dealers (but we still would have had to pay about $1000 in sales tax). I know this doesn't always happen this way, I did luck out (and we are not the types that usually do !) I think the most important point is to shop around. We live in Central Florida and would have gone to Kentucky to get my bike if the price was right. Those dealers that are charging full list price, it's all about supply and demand. If they are selling a particular model like hotcakes, you are going to pay more. If not, or if it is a used bike you will pay less. Remember, your local dealer can always do the warranty work and service even if you don't get the bike from them. We have had no trouble getting serviced or in for service even though my ole man's bike was bought from another dealer that ended up going out of business. And we also weren't in a rush to buy, did our homework, checked around. Our wrench (mechanic) at the local dealership doesn't mind working on my bike even though I didn't buy there. You have to get a relationship going with whoever is going to work on your bike so they can tell when anything is acting up. For instance, this past Saturday I happened to stop in to pick up a helmet on order and talked to the mechanic and he ended up adjusting my throttle while I was there !! Nada, zilch, zero was the cost. So it is important to know your wrench! Well, those are my comments, Thank you Judi Shiver Dear Judi, Dear VTwin Mama, My next question is about joining an organization like Motor Maids or Women on Wheels. Do most women only belong to one? Can you belong to two or is that unheard of? It seems like both of them have a lot of exciting things going on, but neither of them have a chapter near me, and as a beginner I can't drive out to meet them in different cities. What is the protocol in this situation? Your help is much appreciated. I have already contacted both organizations (WOW and Motor Maids), and now I just can't decide which one would be better, or if it was fine to join both. I think that WOW will have something closer to Baltimore, but you can still find out for me. I would appreciate it. So, I picked up my bike on Saturday and did some driveway practice. What a rush. I am so excited. I am like a little kid in a candy store. I have a huge smile on my face. Thanks for everything. I will talk to you soon. Tcool in Baltimore Dear Tcool (Terri), Good to hear from you. Let me see if I can add some insight to some of the questions you have shared. First, do most women belong to an organization such as the MMs or WOW. That is hard to say -- how do you define most. Joining an organization isn't for everyone. But more and more women seem to enjoy the networking one gains from being a part of an organization. I personally have gained friendships through the MMs that I would maintain even if I was no longer in the organization. There are several other benefits of being a part of a club. One is the support you have readily available. There are more women coming to the sport of motorcycling who have never had any experience with it. So being involved in an organization adds valuable support from others who have 'been there, done that." Another asset of belong to an organization is the organizational activities provide a varied assortment of destinations. I have been in every state (except HA) on a motorcycle and several of those I may not have gone to except that we had a MM event there to attend. Can you belong to two organizations -- yes, you can belong to as many organizations as you wish. We have many MM members who also belong to WOW, WITW, BMWMOA, GWRRA, etc. As to 'chapters' near Terri -- I know WOW as well as WITW have local chapters. The Motor Maid membership is divided instead by district. A district can be one or more states, or even an half a state. The district size can be intimidating for a new rider. In our districts though, the veteran riders will always try work with the limitations of a new rider. As the new rider develops in her experience, it will gradually become easier to venture out of her familiar turf. The more you ride the distance you ride becomes less of a factor. I hope this adds some insight or at least a different perspective. Thanks. Jan Barrett, President, Motor Maids Tuesday, March 26 Dear VTwin Mama, As for Hope... good luck with your 600 shadow. I really love mine! Insurance: I also have found that Progressive Insurance had the best quote -- I live in Indiana and my insurance was $190 for the year. Heads up, Spring is here! Shorty600 Dear Shorty600, Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Shadowlady, Wednesday, April 10 Input for Shadowlady who is wondering about women's leadership role in women's riding clubs: In answer to the question regarding who runs the women's motorcycle clubs, my experience is with two Women on Wheels chapters that I attend. The women run the clubs! The men are there for support and frequently offer input, but the women are the actual members with the men being support members. Men do not hold any office....only the women members! LOL...and the women have no problem making this plain to all who attend the meetings.....in a cheerful manner that is. The men who attend have always been fun, but I have never seen any of them try to take over on anything. If it is a women's club.....the men must have an identification problem! Either tell them they must wear skirts to the meeting....OR....start a new club and don't tell the men where you are meeting...Hee Hee. Seriously speaking...my husband told me to tell you that when we rode with the WOW group, we had a great time. When we rode with his MEN's group, one of the guys caused us to have an almost accident in which my husband broke his leg and was out of work for over 5 months! Maybe a gal needs to run that group too? I wish there were a pat answer for the group that has "man trouble", but I am afraid there is none other than the fact that the gals need to assert themselves by reminding the guys that it is the Ladies club...and if the men want to be in charge, they have to start their own group. Good luck and hugs. Betty (note from Mama: thanks to your hubby dearest for chiming in!) It's not a club if the men are dictating where your going to ride and when, etc. They would come in handy for wrenching though!!!!!!I would love to scoot around with other women occasionally but live in northern British Columbia and riding weather is short so gotta ride with anyone you can find. Beth (note from Mama: ok BC-based riders reading this site -- say hi so Beth can find you!) Monday, April 15 More input for Shadowlady who is wondering about women's leadership role in women's riding clubs: I believe that what Shadowlady is describing may be the culture of that particular group. I belong to two groups, a H.O.G Ladies of Harley group and a local chapter of Women on Wheels. Both of these groups are run by the women members. All decisions on activities and how money is spent are made by the women. We do enjoy the company of the men and include them in most of our activities but the decisions are ours to make. The group that Shadowlady describes sounds more like a men's group that plans some activities for women. It's up to the women to accept this or reject it. Evil Twin (note from Mama: good point -- maybe it's time to take control back or . . . start a new one!) No, I don't think you're wrong in expecting women's riding groups to be run by women. Why do they need to have men dictate what women want? Men want something different out of riding and camaraderie than women. I belong to Ladies of Harley and we have our own rides. Men are welcome to join but are expected to ride at the back of the pack. Input is all from women, by women, and about women. If we want to ride to a shopping mall, we do! Look around if you're not happy with this group. There are many womens' groups that are exclusively about and for women. Good luck and happy trails! Ride safe and often! Chris P. (note from Mama: good point -- women DO have different destinations in mind sometimes!) Sounds like a case of a husband sticking his nose where it doesn't belong again. I personally would not join a Women's Club that was run by men. It should be up to the women if the husbands can join in the activities. But I don't see how one could called themselves a Women"s Club and be run by men. Chris P. (note from Mama: good point -- why call it a women's club if it's really a coed club?) I belong to Free Wheelin Canadian Women's Motorcycle Club. Check out our website www.freewheelin.ca. We are a fun bunch of ladies that do our own thing. Men are not involved in our club, except when invited to do so. We plan our own events and rides. The boys are allowed to join us on regular rides, but few do. They are not invited to any overnight events. I have found in the past that when a male does join our group for a ride, they often try to take the lead. It can be uncomfortable then, as the girls don't seem to have any hang-ups about positioning, we just like to ride together. The guys are invited to our party at Christmas and the BarBQ after the Fun Run. We have a lot of good times, and the men in our lives seem to respect what our club is all about. Denny McArthur (note from Mama: good point -- respect is gained by taking a leadership role, which could be done in steps if necessary -- maybe the women all planning one event and proving to themselves, and the men, that they are perfectly capable!) Shadowlady, I also belong to a women's bike club and we women run the show. We meet in different places each month, Feb to Nov. The women choose the places, run the meetings, and encourage the women to show up without the men, although men are accepted. The men who do show up keep to the background. This is a women's club, if we wanted to have men running the show we would have joined a couples club. Cheryl (note from Mama: good point -- it would be interesting to understand if Shadowlady's club started off with just the women and how this progressed to the men taking control.) On Shadowlady's note, no I do not think men (husband's) should dictate the rides or anything having to do with club. Why then is it called women's club? hello? I recently attended a rally for women riders. The husbands where invited to come, as long as they pay the same fee's as the member's. Which is ok. They got to eat & drink what was offered, just like us. When we had our national meetings....no husbands where allowed in these meetings. (no men at all where in there) They we welcome on our rides & all our parties, but not to these meetings & such. We made sure they knew where they could go & not go. We had women plan our rides & all our activities. I took my husband & he knew this was my deal. He had a great time also. But no, if this is a women's bike group/club, it should be for women. If it is going to be a coed, it needs to be specified. Thank you. Veronica VanMadleghem "women in the wind" (note from Mama: good point -- it sounds like this group needs to re-clarify their intent, and then restructure or re-organzie.) I too belong to a women's motorcycle club. Yes, in the past we have had these problems. I did speak up once and made the remark to one of the husbands that when he started wearing a dress to the meetings that he could have a say in what went on. Well you know how that remark went over!!! I assume that they do not have voting rights in your women's club. I guess my advice would be to go to the coordinator of the group, express your concern and see if you get any results. Do it in a diplomatic way, my blunt remark didn't win me any new friends. Wild Orchid (note from Mama: good point -- and good learning lesson. Go through the proper channels and express your viewpoint. Still, I LOVED the dress remark!) Tuesday, April 16 Women's club run by husbands? I was very surprised to hear your comments on this. I don't belong to a women's club but I would think if I was to join one (and I would, but none in my area) I would want the women running it. What's up with that? Thanks for giving me something to look into should I find a women's club to join. You didn't say how long the clubs been together, if it's new maybe these hubby's are just trying to lend a helping hand to get it going. If it's been around awhile I guess you'd be between a rock and a hard place, if you speak up your a trouble maker. In that case maybe you need to run for office and move the control back to the women. I for one would like to know how this works out for you. Barbara (note from Mama: good point -- when joining anything, make sure you understand the rules.) From Shadowlady: Thanks for the input. I really felt that this particular chapter (of a National Woman's motorcycle club) was just poorly run. I did not renew my membership. The ladies in this particular chapter seem totally unwilling or unable to take control of this club. As a newbie, I did not wish to totally tick everyone off, but I did let it be known, that this was no Woman's club. One of the men told me, "If we left it up to the women, we'd never get anything done." That was my last meeting. Sometimes, women are their own worst enemies. Ride safe. Shadowlady (I'm sorry to hear that this women's club didn't work out for you. Please check the links at the bottom of this homepage to discover other groups that might have a chapter in your area, and also, the Shinny Side Up chat room might prove to be a good place for you to meet like-minded women in your area.) Friday, April 19 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Susan, Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Anna, Dear VTwin Mama, I have a question about bike etiquette. Yesterday I got the bike out and had it sitting in the drive way ready to go and went inside to get ready for a ride. I heard someone pull in the driveway and looked out to see my husband's cousin on his tractor preparing to plant corn. Being in the buff I couldn't walk go outside to meet him. To my amazement he got on my bike and turned on the key and blew the horn. I hit the roof!! I didn't know I had become that attached to my bike yet, but I felt like going out there and knocking him off of it. I don't know where it was instilled in me, perhaps as a kid when my cousins road their bikes to family get-togethers, but I have always been of the mind that a person does not touch or sit or do anything to another's bike without asking first. Is this like a universal understanding? I haven't experienced anyone in our community of riders that would bring this up, so I'm putting it out there for the other readers to see what their reaction would be if someone just climbed on their bike and started messin'. What's your thoughts! Love the site. Tammy in Illinois Dear Tammy, Monday, May 13 Dear VTwin Mama, A book I HIGHLY recommend for learning EVERYTHING about motorcycling and learning it correctly the first time, is: "Proficient Motorcycling - The Ultimate Guide to Riding Well", by David L. Hough. I have a copy and and LOVE it. Beckie Mauler (Honda Magna VF700cc) (note from Mama: looks like David's book is a winner!) Tuesday, May 14 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Sharon, Monday, May 20 Dear VTwin Mama,
We left the Rock Island County fairgrounds in Illinois, crossed the Mississippi River and landed at the Mississippi Valley Fairgrounds in Davenport, IA. It takes approximately 30 minutes to cross, but it took a little more than an hour for all bikers to get started and finished. We had traffic stopped at every intersection with police from 4 cities and 1 county helping at the major intersections. We had motorists out of their cars and people on blankets in yards watching the parade of bikes. What an event! Why did we do this? To help drivers of all vehicles be aware that we are out there. If we have helped save one life, because someone took the time to check the mirror twice, or didn't gun their way through an intersection, or follow too aggressively behind a cyclist, then the reason for the ride was accomplished. It was to show that cyclists are people, good people, maybe your banker, your favorite chef, or next door neighbor. Keep the shiny side up! Michele Dear Michele, Dear VTwin Mama, We put on a Poker Run every year for the man that started this ABATE chapter. He died in a car accident 10 years ago and the money goes to his children. Anyway, the 10th annual was held a few weeks ago and I had to work part of the day, so I met up with them at the next to the last stop. I was horrified to see my husband pull up to the stop with another woman on the back of his bike. All the other women in the group, except the **** that was on his bike, were as pissed as I was. He just didn't get that I was mad. He used to ride some 20 years ago, but without a significant other, so he just didn't realize it was such a big deal. He did not hang with her at the stops, so that was an indication to me that he saw it as just giving her a ride. However, she knows exactly what she is doing. She and her ****** friends do this at about every ride. They go around and ask other guys there if they can ride with them. Not caring if the guy has a woman at home or not. They normally get turned down, but my husband thought since she held an ABATE office, then he would be nice enough to let her ride. WHATEVER!!! I hit the roof. I was so mad I could barely ride my own bike home! At least 10 other women at the ride came up to me and voiced their opinion of this ****, and I was so livid that I couldn't think straight. Total disrespect for another female in my book. She put her nasty ******* butt in my seat and I cannot get past it, as yet. Like I said, she makes a habit of this action. Thoughts? Tammy in Illinois Dear Tammy, Perhaps humor would be useful in this situation -- and I don't necessarily mean the tee-hee-hee stuff, but more like, "Get your cotton-picking white trash butt away from my hubby (tee hee hee)," or maybe, "My hubby is soooo clueless, he thinks he's just being nice, but if you keep pushing it, I'll show you what not-so-nice is really all about (tee hee hee)," or . . . shoot, I'm a single VTwin Mama and don't really have the reality clue here. Any thoughts on this VTwin Mama sisters? Mama Friday, May 24 First, a note from me: we've covered several explosive and controversial issues here on the VTwin Mama site, but I've got to say, Tammy's letter about another women "hitching" rides with her husband and other male members of their ABATE chapter has got to top the charts in the 16 months that I've run this forum. The language of the responses and the letter Tammy wrote to this women contain language that is forthright and not always "so nice," but then my thought is that not everything in life is "so nice" and being politically correct doesn't always work. You'll find opinions and insights from every angle, so read on if you wish, but be prepared for direct language. These are not posted in any particular order, simply in the order that they came to me in emails, with Tammy's letter to this woman at the end. You'll also note that I am not going to add my two cents after each input, because I think there is more power in the sum of the responses that has value in helping more women over time decided for themselves how they would handle this situation if they ever come across it. Mama I think that Tammy needs to get over this. Like she said, her husband was clueless. She doesn't need to drag the other women from the club into this, or cause a division in the such a wonderful organization like ABATE because of behavior from one or two people. She just needs to hold her head high and not make a scene about it. Because after all, she is the one who is going to look bad in the long run, not the troublemakers. She needs to get her husband aside at home and let him know how she feels and then she can ask him to take the backseat off !!! It's just as easy for him to put it back on when they decide to go on a ride together. Needless to say, with my own bike I have no need to ride two up anymore. But, the rule was made long ago with my hubby, "no female rides on the back without MY permission." That way the message is clear and we have never had a problem with strays....That's my tirade Judirika I couldn't help but respond to the letter you posted in the latest News Letter regarding some trashy *** woman putting her *** on the back of a bike that belongs to another woman's husband and his WIFE or Girlfriend, whatever the case may be! Shoot that chick is better than I am is all I can say, not only would I have been pissed I would have cleaned the spokes on the wheels with her ***! In the first place, when you ride on the back of a bike your rubbing up against the dude in the front and if that dude isn't yours to rub against then what the **** are you doing there? And HE not seeing why SHE is pissed! come on Mister, would you like it if your Ole Lady gave some guy a ride with him rubbing all against her or if she took a ride with another guy and rubbed up against him? In MY opinion he shoulda let the ***** WALK! And if it had been me caught some slut on the back of my Ole Man's bike (which he knows damn well better than to even try!) she wouldn't be able to walk much less ride! HrlyLady in Maryland I sense that there is more going on in your ABATE chapter than this officer hitches rides on Poker Runs. This was a group activity for a specific purpose, it is not like he took off with her for a day of bar-hopping? Did she not go her own way after the ride, did he not come home to you? What would have done if the roles were reversed? I asked my self, what would I have done? Nothing!!! If something like that upset as much as it upset you, maybe you need to talk with your husband. Would you have been as upset, if the other women in the group didn't start stirring the pot, so to speak. Life is much to short, riding seasons are much too short, don't let this episode start to creep into non-riding times. Talk it out, get over it, and ride on!!!! Bert I am also a member of ABATE here in Republic, PA. I have been a member for over 10yrs. I just got my license last August and ride my own now. The very minute my seat was empty the trailer trash were surrounding my husband like a bunch of vultures. Since my husband is Road Captain he had some crazy idea he was obligated to take anyone along who wanted to ride that day. He really doesn't see how these type of women work. He is just a good ol' guy (that's the reason I married him). We had one time it happened that I had to work and joined the in the middle of the run on my bike. I very politely went to her and told her she needed to find her own way home! She wouldn't be riding with my husband and not in MY seat.! She looked like the fool, not me. It is clearly understood now no one rides in my seat but me. I did gain the respect I deserved and it hasn't happened again with anyone else. PA. Debbie G. I can totally understand why you would have a problem with this other "lady" (and those quotations are definitely deliberate)... but really, if your husband (in his typical male oblivion) was just being nice... then what does it matter what that low class "lady" was attempting. You are the one who gets to go home with him in the end. If you let people make a big deal of it (i.e., allowing your sisters to demote her) you just reveal your own insecurities. If you take the high and confident road - i.e., first telling your husband that you think its wonderful that he is such a sweet guy, and you are embarrassed that the sisters in your organization made such a big deal because they don't understand what a trusting and strong relationship you have - and then telling your sisters that they don't need to demote her... if she is such a low class woman that would do that, then whatever. You don't need to waste your time with her. You are way better than that. You are so above her that by being completely unthreatened by her you will come out on top... I think this is also a good role to play as an example to the other women around you. Women can be so jealous and catty. By reacting to tramps like this, you just give them power. By being so above her and unthreatened by her, you diminish her power and in the end she just looks like a desperate fool who is clawing at getting a fraction of what you already have earned. I hope this makes sense - Be strong sista. E. You need to address this with your husband. He can make the mistake once but not again. I wouldn't blow this out of proportion as long as he knows how you feel. Take my word for it...I've been married 32 years to the same guy. He has ridden other girls but only when he knew I would approve. And I'm not into that kinky stuff! Would your husband feel the same if you gave a ride to another guy or rode with another guy on his bike for some reason? These type of girls will get away with this only if the guys let them...and many welcome it! Just be sure your guy doesn't. Be firm and factual in your discussion of the situation. Trust is a must! Be glad you don't have to depend on any man to give you a ride. Chris I got tense just reading the letter from the woman who found another woman on the back of hubby's bike. I wouldn't like it either! And I wonder if men really are a clueless as they claim to be. I know my partner would not take kindly to my hauling some other guy around on the back of my bike. Do they really have no clue that this behavior is inappropriate? I think not! I just believe they do these things hoping they will get away with it. Am I bitter? Possibly. But you can't be with a guy for years without his gleaning something about propriety...... Annie I read your message to the group twice and thought I would respond. This is just the way I feel but I don't understand why your ABATE group would demote this women. Your husband should have said "no". He had control of the situation and he chose to let the women ride with him. I never have understood the concept of when a husband or wife or significant other goes out on their partner, the partner blames it on the other party that their partner went out with. The husband, wife, significant other has control over his/her actions and needs to take responsibility over it. Don't lower yourself to that woman's level, but instead tell your husband how you feel about him giving the women a ride and move on with your head held high. You are with your husband, not the women, let her know you have a strong marriage by your actions and spend your energy on more positive issues. That women is not worth you wasting your energy with. The ABATE chapter you are a member of will probably not elect this person the next time her leadership position comes up anyway from the sounds of your letter. Julie Ouch! what a dilemma. As a woman who recently got her own cycle I would be pretty peeved to see another woman on the back of my man's ride. Unless of course she asked ME if I minded. Men are clueless so he should only be responsible for a very small portion of the blame. She, on the other hand, needs a lesson in etiquette. I would consider it a slap in the face. Unfortunately I'm not the greatest in snappy comebacks but I can pull out the bitch when I need to. I'd use one of Petra's lines since my approach would probably end in a cat fight (if the other party had the guts!) : ) Good luck with this problem. If she can be ousted from the group or even suspended for this riding season it might teach her a lesson. Jennifer Many moons ago, my husband & I belonged to a riding (horse) club. We had one member who couldn't keep her paws off anything male. He & I went to a club meeting one evening, found our seats and were just horsing around (pun intended) with some of the other members. I got up to get coffee or something and when I came back (I was gone at least a nanosecond), she was sitting in his lap! This was NOT a good move on her part. She saw me and said something to the effect of "well, I couldn't sit in your seat, 'cuz your coat was in it." Like you, Mama, I try to handle things with a bit of humor, but surprisingly enough, humor failed me at this very moment. I simply walked over to her, took her ever so gently by the lapels of her coat, and lifted her fat butt off his lap. Think I said something like "sorry sweetie, that seat's taken." I had no more trouble with her. Also I DID have a little chat with him when we left the meeting. I know he'd meant me no harm ... he just has trouble telling folks what he thinks ... but somehow he's managed in that sort of situation ever since then. Men do seem to pick up on the lessons, but they need to be taught! :-) So Tammy, just make sure you explain in simple, easy to understand terms to him exactly how this made you feel. If he's a good guy, and it sounds like he is, he'll figure it out and avoid the situation again. Barb I think you showed admirable restraint in not running her down in the middle of the road! I agree that this was not only in very poor taste on her part, but quite obviously a calculated move meant to stroll further down the primrose path, with your husband in tow!! As long as you are sure that your husband is completely clueless about her ulterior motives, then I say the blame rests entirely on her shoulders--er, butt. No use getting mad at the man, poor thing, who hasn't the foggiest idea of what's really going on behind his behind. So I'd say confront the ***** and make it very plain that this type of behavior will not be tolerated, that if she can't durn well ride her own bike then she can just plan on coming to the events in her cage, 'cause other women's menfolk are off limits. HOW RUDE! Surely, a group of women set up against one woman ought to be able to come up with all kinds of creative ways to get the point across. Maybe a garage sale toy Harley to ride on or something of that nature, and a cute little Ken doll to go with it so she'd have a man of her own to play with. Sometimes it's a lot of fun to be a little vindictive, especially to such a deserving target. Have fun with it! Peaches And now the letter that Tammy wrote to this woman: Dear VTwin Mama, xxxx (name deleted just 'cause): It's women like you who give biking
women a bad name. You showed me a great disrespect climbing on the
back of Sam's bike. He only gave you a ride because it was obvious
that no one else was going to, and after all, he is a nice guy and he didn't
know it would piss me off. However, I take it very personal that you
would violate a silent code among women who bike. And don't even tell
me that you didn't know! In my opinion, and all the other women
who came up to me at the run, you should have your nasty fucking legs super
glued together so you can't do this again to any other woman.
Consider your self lucky you left the run early. None of them could
believe I did nothing to you, however, they had their own ideas in store.
There was one guy you asked that had his wife standing right there.
You are stupid enough doing this sorta of thing as it is, but right in
front of her was major stupid. What a dumb cunt. I realize you have absolutely no
standards and that nothing I say will change your future action. I'm
just thankful there are more women that have respect for other women and
ones like you are far and few between. I feel like you owe me an apology for
the disrespect you showed me for putting your nasty fucking cunt in my seat.
However, I don't expect one, nor do I want you saying anything to me!
See you at the next ABATE meeting!!! Have a nice fucking day! Tammy Dear Tammy, Nope, I don't have a Pysch major, but what I do have is the knowledge that comes from riding a really long time and the belief that if you share how you feel, that someone will benefit from those insights. That's why I started this site and that's why it will be around for a long time. You matter! Mama Dear VTwin Mama, This did not discourage me though because I loved the leaning into and out of turns. Well, I found a 1979 Honda CM400A that was in good shape and bought it last night. I take delivery this afternoon and can't wait. It's one of Honda's old Hondamatics and yes ladies it has a short seat height (about 27') and no clutch! How can I get my wife and parents excited about my decision? I've already told my wife that I'll always wear a helmet and just cruise the neighborhood until I get good. Thanks for a great site and keep up the good work. Woody Dear Woody, I think fear is the main reaction here -- either fear that you'll hurt yourself and/or fear that this will take to much time away from your regular family commitments. Or maybe they think you're going to join a biker gang somewhere down the line?!?!?! Examine your real thoughts (challenge to learn something new? need to get away a little on your own? looking to expand your lifestyle?) on why this is important to you and try to share this with the family, but remember that only real honesty on this point is going to work. It's good that you took a Safety Class and dumping the bike in the beginning is a normal thing. Practice is the key now so keep at it. Mama Wednesday, May 29 More input for Tammy about rogue women who try to hitch rides with her husband and other males: I think she should have told her to start walking and told my man that the ride was over, he was now solo. Maybe if you had left her to walk she wouldn't pull that **** again. Cat I can understand what you are talking. I was just saying to my mom today that my brother's ex-girlfriend bragged about taking her bike to rallies and bugging the guys there to fix her bike for her. Mind you, dynamite was the only cure for this bike. Anyway, she was laughing about how one of the ladies was very angry because she kept bugging her husband to help her. She thought it was very funny. I thought she was pretty brazen, cuz she had just asked my husband to fix something for her. I told my mom that the ex didn't know how close she came to seeing the angry side of me!!! My husband was there to enjoy the ride, not work on her piece of junk. The whole time we were riding, she kept doing things to bring attention to herself. Tammy, if my husband had picked up someone like you were describing, I would have reacted the same way. Unfortunately, guys look at the situation as helping someone out. We look at it as an opportunistic bitch on the loose. My husband thought the ex was rather funny. I told him that I would not ride with her again. I don't want to be associated with someone like that. She's embarrassing. Try not to be angry with your husband too long. She's not worth ruining a good thing over. Just make it clear to him that this is not acceptable. I promise, he'll think twice before he does it again. Cindy While some of our sisters may not behave as honorably as others, it's no reason to get one's skirt in a knot. You might just say to this woman, "Yes, he is a hottie, isn't he?" and smile. This is non-confrontational and shows her that you do not perceive her as (pretty enough?) to be a threat and that you have complete faith in your husband. Remember that getting upset can be perceived as insecurity and that you think your husband might take her up on that. Why start a cat-fight unless your ol' man is charging admission? Personally I like my earrings in my head and the guys probably don't enjoy the arguing. I love my honey and trust him completely. He can flirt all he wants but I know wild horses (or whores as the case may be) won't drag him away. He can give all the rides he likes and I know he is enjoying the "larger backrests". I got my own bike so his is often available. Besides, I am the only female employee at the quarry we both work at and there is always teasing and flirting going on that he has learned not to get upset over so fair is fair and I wouldn't want a man to be jealous of my having male friends, that gets ugly quick! If you don't keep the dog on a tight leash, it won't pull against it and people are no different. Just be happy he's yours and give him the freedom to act respectably. It's his choice. If he's not to be swayed then all the raging estrogen in the world won't change that. Hakuna Matata. Blue skies and Laughter. Inga in Eldred, NY I am very happy to have found this site. I have been reading it for quite some time, I love it. It has given me very useful tips and insights to help me out as a beginning rider. Keep up the good work! I have to say I agree with Tammy. I am also a member of an ABATE Illinois chapter, but have yet to go to any meetings or on any of their runs. I would be very interested in knowing which chapter this was (without giving away any names or anything of course) so IF these actions were to continue to occur, I would be ready and or able to avoid the situation if necessary. I am a new rider myself and not quite ready to ride my own bike ( Kawi Vulcan 500 LTD) on poker runs and such. So for now I happily ride on the back with hubby. Just last year, we had a similar situation on one of the poker runs we were on. About 10 of us pulled into a stop together and went in to get our cards and such. While there I had to go to the restroom and in that short time it turns out there was a woman just lurking around looking for a man to ride with. I'm sure she saw us come in together and did not seem to bother her one bit to walk right up to my hubby immediately after I walked away and asked him for a ride on the back of his bike. He did not hesitate in the least to inform her that the back seat of his bike is permanently taken by his wife!!!! I had no clue as to what had went on while I was away, and one of the other female riders that was with us told me what had happened and how proud I should be of him!! And I am VERY proud of him!! To this day I do not have to worry about who may ask to ride on the back with him as he knows who sits behind him and is proud to tell whoever may ask. So you see, SOME men do know the unwritten rules of biking. Darla And now, a note from Tammy: Hi Everyone, Thursday, May 30 A couple responses for Woody who needs his family to understand his new interest in riding: I suggest that maybe, somewhere down the line, he get his wife to take the safety course just to see and feel what he is doing, know the things he learned, feel the exhilaration of the wind in your face. If she knows what he knows ( how to ride safely which the course stresses) maybe she won't be so "scared" for him! Sherry (note from Mama: excellent point made here -- even if she doesn't ride herself, or even just observes, she might feel more comfortable) I would encourage Woody to try to involve his wife and family with his new hobby. My husband, who is 5'4", and I took the MSF class. Neither of us had ever been on motorcycles before as anything except a passenger. I was the one who wanted us to get motorcycles. I dumped the bike (a Nighthawk) during the class also. My husband did much better than I did. We both love riding and realize that safety is first and foremost. You've already made your wife a promise that you'll wear a helmet and stay in areas around your neighborhood until you become more proficient. Life is full of risks, but everyone has to have a little fun. Maybe you could take your wife on short rides or maybe she might be interested in her own bike. Whether she does or not, sometimes you have to do something for yourself! Linda (note from Mama: thanks for sharing your experience -- learning new things is important in order to grow as a person and this will not always meet with immediate approval -- still, 'ya gotta do what 'ya gotta do sometimes and addressing the specific fears and concerns is a good place to start) Friday, May 31 Dear VTwin Mama, When my son turned 8, he wanted to go to the local motorcycle shop for his birthday. We were just going to look. I bought my husband a 1983 Honda Silverwing 650. His mom kept harping on him about buying it until he finally told her that he didn't buy it, I did. So many people think that the man is the aggressive one when it comes to buying a motorcycle. Think again, guys. I helped him buy his 1993 Honda Shadow 1100 about 5 years ago. He surprised me last year with a 2001 Honda Shadow Spirit 750. Now, we look rather good riding down the road on our Shadows. I just goes to show, one favor brings forth another. Enjoy the attention, I do. Cindy Dear Cindy, Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Barbara, Thursday, June 6 Dear VTwin Mama, I agree that I just don't want the responsibility of someone on the back and I really don't trust most people to ride on the back. Should they move wrong or make a move in the wrong direction at the wrong time, you could loose control of the bike and both could get seriously hurt. The people I would trust on the back are the ones that would never ride on the back because they are busy riding their own bike. I had a solo saddle put on my bike because it is comfortable and it eliminates the question of taking someone for a ride. Ride Safe and Alert 2B4W -- Ellen (Note from Mama -- a solo seat is soooo smart!) Way to go Barbara!! Absolutely a wonderful and valid point!! And a good way to tell some creaton they are not wanted on your bike without causing a scene. And we all know any woman that would do something like that in the first place is capable of causing a scene!! HrlyLady, aka Genie (Note from Mama -- Amen!) Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Marcelo, Interesting, huh?! So, there's no answer. Bikes are rated by their cc and yours of course is a 650cc bike. Mama Marcelo's reply: Thank you for your prompt and instructive reply. As an engineer I understand the nuances of power measurement, but normally they are very small to take consideration. I don't understand why the automobile industry adopts the horse power measurement, and why Yamaha doesn't even publish acceleration rates, like time to speed up from 0 to 60 mph. My conclusion is, even being genuinely smooth and pleasurable to hide, the VStar 650 is not as fast as the competitor models. Marcelo Tuesday, June 18 For Marcelo who was looking for horsepower info on a VStar 650: From the International Star Riders Association newsletter: There actually IS an equation for finding horse power, (OH NO!! not the MATH again!!) which is: HORSEPOWER = TORQUE x RPM/5,252 as a standard measurement regardless of where youre at. But!!! You think I could find the torque specks for the VStar? NOT best I could come up with was Maximum torque is at 3000 rpms) I could only follow reason when it came to size they DID tell me that a 1300cc bike (Yamaha) has 95 HP . So half that, to a 650cc would give you 47 ½ HP. Which doesnt sound like a lot considering your standard gas lawn mower has 3 to 6 HP (for the good ones). But compare that to: say a 440 High Performance Mopar engine which delivers 375 HP and is expected to move over 2 tons of car . Its quite a bit , especially when the bike is only a faction of that weight. But Marcelo is right, those specs are going to be played down in favor of the bikes comfort because it really isnt impressive numbers. Did I care how much HP and torque my first bike delivered when I first started riding?? Nope. I was too busy havin fun. HammerLady@ShinnySideUp.com (note from Mama: darn that math, but useful for future reference! And thanks for adding the comparisons -- this model seems quite tame!) Dear VTwin Mama, Monday, June 24 Dear VTwin Mama, I feel this way, I drive my own bike, my hubby drives his own bike, we have SOLO seats. There is a reason for this. Especially for your man. You never know when some trashy woman is going to hop on the back, and if there ain't no place for her to sit, oh well........TOO F%&$*#G BAD. Makes me mad to hear this stuff Jo Ann Dear Jo Ann, Tuesday, June 25 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear VTwin Mama, Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Sally, Thursday, July 11 Dear VTwin Mama, My hero . . . my inspiration. You go girl! Linda Thursday, July 11 Dear VTwin Mama, As we passed them, I realized it was a group of seven (?) women from Indiana. My next thought was GREAT!!! and then a big smile settled on my face. These were a group of women who were out having a great time and riding to enjoy the sights. My husband was just as impressed as I was. If any of the ladies see this, you made my day from the orange Honda Sabre who had the pleasure of your company for several miles on the way to a great ride. Becky Dear Becky, Tuesday, July 16 Dear VTwin Mama, 90% my anger was from the show of disrespect from her to me, the other 10% was part that he didn't know it would piss me off and the embarrassment from the pity I saw on the faces of the other riders. At the time that she was voted in as a Public Relations officer, I don't think anyone knew of her habits for she had just joined ABATE. The situation she caused with me was a last straw kind of thing and they wanted her out of office. She wasn't helping with her post any longer anyway. And that brings a question for you since you have been an ABATE member for 23 years. How long should a person, in your opinion, be a member of a chapter before they get voted into an office? This chapter has some problems, naturally, as I suppose every chapter has. I would like to help solve some of them, but I've only been a member for 2 years. I was nominated at the same time the **** was and I turned it down because I wanted to learn more about what it was all about. Your insight and experiences with your chapter would be very helpful. Last but not least, this site is so wonderful because of the feeling of family here. Ladies, we gotta stick together! Thanks Tammy in Illinois (note from Mama: for those of you new readers who are curious about this discussion, follow the links on the Viewpoints page starting on May 22 -- it's well worth reading through to gain an understanding of this issue.) Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Terri, Thursday, August 1 Dear VTwin Mama, Dear Barbara, Monday, August 5 Dear VTwin Mama, Anyway, I live in the city in a Condo and I wanted to know if anyone out there had locks or protective equipment I can find for a bike. A man in my building has a bike he keeps covered, but the other day someone knocked his bike over so I went over to pick it up for him, and I noticed under the cover that his headlight was missing. I don't know if it was always missing and that's why he kept it covered or someone stole it. I'm open to any and all suggestions, although I'm not too keen on wheeling it in my condo every night. (If I have to, I'm on the ground floor) Anna from Philly Dear Anna, |
