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2005 (January through June) Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
v45magna, If this doesn't feel right, how about checking for listings for riders in your area? You submitted a listing for my Let's Ride page, and while my site doesn't have any listings, I checked the Ride My Own site on the Riders Map page for Canada, and there are a number of listings. Or, gather a new support system by re-checking the local riding chapters at dealerships and women's riding organizations. This could be a gentle way to re-enter the riding world . . . maybe by attending a chapter meeting and saying hi. And even if you're not ready to get back on the bike, chapters host events that maybe you would like to provide support for . . . they could always use the help. The only way I know how to get that loving feeling back is to immerse yourself one way or the other and see if it still is something you wish to participate in. Believe it or not, it may turn out that you're ready for a new phase in your life, down a different pathway. I was a skydiver for many years, but eventually it just didn't meet my needs any more. That's when I got back into serious riding time. Some years I ride more, some years I ride less. I keep my mind open to the possibilities of life and trust that if I keep searching, I'll find my way. – Mama Tuesday, January 11 For v45magna who is looking to get back into riding after great personal loss: My sympathies. Twice in his life my husband has put away motorcycles because he suddenly felt the road wasn't safe, and both times he came back after years of not riding. And when I lost the two people who knew me best, there was no joy in anything for a long time. Your mind and your heart are busy with other concerns right now, too busy to find riding relaxing, and someday you'll be ready to get back in your motorcycle mind and ride again. – Sarah (note from Mama: you speak from great experience and I always appreciate that you share your thoughts on such a personal subject. I've heard from v45magna, who shared she went to a motorcycle show in her area and enjoyed it. That sounded like a good start to re-immersing into the lifestyle.) Thursday, January 20 Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
PurplePonyGal, You have brought up an important and relevant point about this site: how I generate enough money to keep the site running. This is done in a number of ways. First is the VTwin Mama logo wear, with its Tshirts, caps, headbands, sweatshirts, key rings, coffee mugs and pins, as well as the weekly Newsletter. And I've also identified that potential Canadian buyers can do so through the PayPal system (currencies are converted and forwarded). I've also added true MasterCard and VISA credit card processing in the last few months, as well as an upgraded shopping cart system. You'll also see the Google ads sprinkled around the site. When readers see these and click on them for more information, the VTwin Mama site is credited . . . pennies . . . but they add up! Last, but not least, are the advertisers. Some are straight up contracts for placement, while others are done as affiliate programs. When readers click on a link, explore the site for things that they may wish to purchase, and make a purchase, a percentage comes to VTwin Mama. In response to your call for an advertiser list, I have created a new page on the site: the Advertisers on VTwin Mama page. This is an alphabetical listing with descriptions and the links. I appreciate your suggestion! Readers, every bit helps! I can report that at the end of 2003, I made a profit that allowed me to go out and have a beer! This year, I think it might extend to two! Yes, it's true . . . in four years I've not been able to draw a "salary" for my work, but am immensely pleased that the funds generated pay all the bills and allow me to carry an inventory of logo wear. And then there is the "other" reward . . . .letters like this that let me know that my work is of value and that it makes a difference. My heart sings! – Mama Friday, January 21 Dear
VTwin Mama, Whaaalaa! I found the Trivoli iPal ( you can look it up under that on the net). It is 6 in. tall 3in w. and 3in deep. It has an unbelievable sound quality and so small I could put it in a camera bag and mount it on the handlebar. It is a wonderful little radio, and I just thought a few others might be as spoiled as I am and want it all! Happy riding, Luv to all! – Sparkle Dear
Sparkle, Thursday, January 27 Hello Mama, Dear
Lowrider Mama, Yes, it is in my plans to move to the Carolinas later this year, although it now appears I may end up in northern Georgia. It all boils down to where my parents decide to choose their final roosting spot (they are 73 years young) and then I'll join them wherever they are! I am blessed to have the most wonderful parents, who in the six years we spent in the same town out here in Nevada, got a chance to get to know each other as adults. I consider it one of my most important life choices. And the extended riding season will be GREAT! – Mama Wednesday, February 9 OK
Mama and all the other sisters, Dear
Jennifer, Dear
Mama, When is the Motorcycle world going to get it that there is a lot of $$$$ to be had from us Women? WE like to ride and we like to spend. What does not add up to them? Sorry got a little carried away so I will save the rest for them. Thank you and congratulations!! 5 Years. Just so you know, I pass out your website to almost every man rider that has a women in their life that rides or not. I of course pass it out to the women I meet as well. But, it is really nice when I get to pass it out to the men. I guess it is a way to let them know there are a lot of women riders out there so GET OUT OF OUR WAY! :) Just kidding but sometimes I feel like that. So, ok I am a bit disturbed by the information that Women Rider was dropped of the website and no annual issues or anything else. Have a great day, – Celeste Dear
Celeste, Yes, Woman Rider got dumped from the line-up of Ehlert Publishing. What a blow! So that all readers can understand . . . I saw the links were missing on the RiderReport site . . . and contacted the Managing Editor of the three remaining magazines. She forwarded that email to Genevieve, former editor of Woman Rider, who replied in essence that she fought for its survival and thinks the VTwin Mama site is great. As far as contacting some sort of "top dog" at the publishing firm, the site only offers up the contacts for each of the three magazines still being published. I would write to their main address at Ehlert Publising Group, Inc., 6420 Sycamore Lane, Suite 100, Maple Grove, MN 55369 or call 1-800-848-6247 and let them tell you where to direct your complaint. – Mama Friday, February 11 For Celeste on the demise of Woman Rider magazine: If you are looking for a GOOD motorcycle magazine for women, check out Biker Ally. It is for women...by women. Hugs, – B (note from Mama: we definitely LOVE Biker Ally magazine, which can be found at http://www.bikerallymag.com. 6 issues per year and chock full of reviews, wrenching tips, personal stories and journeys and more! Rain, the editor, works hard to put together a comprehensive magazine that every woman rider should support!) Friday, April 15 Dear
VTwin Mama, Our Club is Cruiser Club Caledonia, a Scottish club for custom & cruiser riders. Please feel free to drop by and say hi sometime - http://www.cruiserclubcaledonia.com. Best wishes and continued success from Scotland! – Dave (P.S. - hope the move went okay too!!) Dear
Dave, Love your club's site . . . and readers, there's a chat forum, so if you're looking to expand your cultural horizons, here's a good way to do it! Thanks Dave for letting me know you liked what you saw at the VTwin Mama site and more thanks for spreading the word! I'll add your club to my Useful Sites page under Scotland as well! – Mama Monday, April 18 Dear
VTwin Mama, About two years ago my hubby wanted to get me into riding and while I was in my MSF class he went out and bought me a Honda Shadow 600. I had a lot of fear issues and some mechanical problems and I came to you for help/reassurance. Your advice helped me to stick with it and gain confidence. Now I ride almost daily, own a Yamaha V-star 1100 and am the secretary of our local ABATE motorcyclist rights organization! Riding has brought a lot of joy, excitement and pride of accomplishment into my life, but I feel I owe a part of that to you, because without your help I may have quit before I finally began to have fun. I am now mentoring another motorcyclist's wife who is in the same spot I was two years ago, and hopefully she'll get over the "Newbie Rider Bug" and soon start riding for fun and not just because hubby is pressuring her. Thanks once again for all your help! – Kerrylynne Dear
Kerrylynne, Back on March 15th I received an email (that I chose not to publish) that suggested that I "pamper idiots." While I appreciate that many new riders are born naturals, have great riding course experiences, and quickly graduate to bigger bikes, and master advanced techniques effortlessly, this is not the case for many. This forum is designed to help women (and men!) riders realize their dream, with all the ickies and oopsies that can happen along the way. We share with each other in a "safe zone" that allows us to express our inner concerns without reserve. If I'm pampering, it's for a reason . . . I believe that most everyone can ride a bike if they truly wish to do so. And I will continue to champion and support those who wish to ride. Let's keep doing that! After all, it is MY site, isn't it!!!! – Mama Monday, April 18 Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
Sarah, It's truly difficult for me now as I sold my Harley before leaving Nevada, but hopefully I'll have another bike soon. Just visited the Azalea Festival in Pickens, SC and got a raffle ticket for a 2005 FatBoy. Who knows . . . maybe I'll win! It has been a bit weird being back in a state where helmets are optional. I certainly support the right to choose, but for myself, will continue wearing a helmet. If anything, running this site for over 4 years now, has educated me on the horrific things that can happen without one. That's just me. – Mama Wednesday, April 20 Dear
VTwin Mama, Which is a long way of saying THANK YOU for doing what you are doing! Since I found your web site, I've read a lot of the VTwin Mama archives, studying the different topics (everything from helmet hair [no, I didn't shave my head!] to more general riding issues) and I've learned a tremendous amount from you. With appreciation, – Gila, Trike Rider Dear
Gila, Better yet, while it sprung from my mind, it's the readers that make a huge difference as well . . . sharing their thoughts and inner demons . . . and other cool stuff! Can it get any better than this?! Yes, I could win that FatBoy raffle I bought a ticket for last Saturday and the drawing is on May 7th. Ok people, I'm REALLY REALLY jazzing for that FatBoy as bike #4! – Mama Saturday, April 23 Dear
VTwin Mama, What’s wrong with this idiot who wrote the email to you about pampering idiots. No rider is a natural (well, to be fair, the "natural" statement was mine and I think your next sentence states it better). Some riders learn easier. Why do you think they have classes to learn how to ride or ride better? If the writer of the email says they are a natural then they must be the idiot. Walking and talking even need to be learned. I do believe that anyone can learn to ride a motorcycle because I can ride. This is also a thank you letter. Thanks Tons Petra! You helped me get through my new rider fears that I still deal with ongoing. I am riding more and I learn each time I go out. I have also dropped my bike and rode through that also recently. It’s no big deal to drop a bike as long as your ok and they make new bike parts. There were a few weeks around here where even the guys were dropping brand new Harleys so I didn’t feel alone doing this on my little Yamaha. No I wasn’t embarrassed just lucky no cars were behind me to run me over. I learned that I couldn’t become over confidant and not to be completely comfortable ever while riding. Now my bike has character to boot. Those marks are our battle scars. A little reminder to me that not being totally focused is a mistake I take full responsibility for. I pass your great info onto others about riding be it man or woman. I think the MSF only teaches you how to ride in a parking lot. MSF classes are done in a controlled environment. There is no way you will know what to expect once on the road with others after the class. New riders please don’t be afraid because I have said that. The MSF class is a great class. I wouldn’t be on a bike unless I took the class. Great way to learn and I took the class twice. I had a ton of fun the second time around. I recommend taking it again if you had trouble the first time. What helped me most besides your site in dealing with the fear was to take my riding responsibilities seriously. For me to ride I had to look at what I could control versus what I cannot while riding. Your site helped me deal with those issues and put things in perspective. I used your site to make my battle plan and I feel great! I can get out there and ride instead of being stuck in the garage or jealous or resentful that I am too afraid to go out and ride. I knew that it overwhelmed me so much in the beginning to ride. I ride at times when roads aren’t busy. I plan my route most times. I also wear protective gear just in case. I ride with my H who will stretch my comfort level sometimes and it’s wonderful to take on and learn new things. I started riding to an empty dead end road when I got bored of the parking lot and we would go up and down that dead end road sometimes 10 or 20 miles. It was a very long dead end road, my Husband was great and has tons of patience. My thoughts are new rider fear has to do with 2 issues. What you can control like understanding how to ride working the controls and the outside fears like other drivers and what ifs and how to deal with the cages. I always say to myself its baby steps. Take things in small steps and soon you can get out there with the best of them. Thanks again Petra. – A Lady Rider in California Dear
Lady Rider, Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
Too Young, For Too Young to Wanna Give Up, who at 52 thinks people think she's crazy for riding: 52....you're just a kid!!! I just bought my 1200 Custom Sportster last October, and turned 57 in February. Rode a small Honda 450 back in grad school, 27 years ago. Gave it up when I needed a car when the time came to "be a grownup". Have been looking at bikes go down the road ever since.......and wishing I had one. Just worked up my nerve to do it again. Took the MSF course in September, got my license, and bought my bike in October. Got in about 500 miles before I had to put it away for the winter.....the winter has never been so long!! We've had pretty good weather the last 3 weeks (until this week, unfortunately), and I've been riding almost every day. My roommate, who is 53, just got her first bike (2002 Sportster 122 Custom).....and is riding to work every day. She works for a company that makes motorcycle trailers, and has inspired several other women there to sign up for the MSF class and go looking for bikes. I plan to be riding for a long time........if the body starts having problems down the road.....I'll just convert to a trike to keep riding. We belong to a chapter of Women on Wheels, and the founder is 66, rides a Heritage Classic, and has been riding for 50 years. As far as those people who are looking at you weird......they are just envious that you have the guts to do it, and they don't. Keep the shiny side up and keep on riding!! – Diane in Michigan (note from Mama: yes, yes, yes!) Dear
VTwin Mama, I myself started developing a passion for bikes when I was 2 or 3, or some I'm told. Which was the first time I touched a bike. I still remember it like a dream. It was a Harley, seemed like a Sportster type from what I can remember, it had a cream and black tank, all decked out in chrome, and although I was just a baby I could picture myself riding off into the night on it. I was put on the bike, and although I couldn't even reach the bars, I felt like I was on top of the world, and it felt like I belonged there, and the love for bikes was born. It lasted for many years while growing up, until just before my teen years, when I started going thru a lot of things, including an abusive stepfather who beat nd molested me, and then me and my mom ending up homeless. After that I had to toughen up and became pretty much numb. After some years I began to heal and my spirit returned, a bit of me was revived every time I saw or heard a bike, and so my quest to finally own one began. I finished high school two years earlier (at 16) even after battling with dyslexia, just so I could go to college earlier, and get a bike all the sooner. My father had said he would help me, but when the time came, he didn't want to, he denied me an education, just because I'm the black sheep. You see, when my mom first got pregnant with me, he thought it was going to be a boy, he wanted a boy, and I turned out to be a girl, and I've been paying for it ever since. I'm sure if it was one of my half brothers he would have paid for them to go to Harvard. But you see I won't let that stop me, I'm going to continue to battle, and I'm going to find a way to get to college and to get that bike! And I've set out to do it by the start of next year, hopefully around my Birthday (Apr. 11) Meanwhile I will continue to read your web site, and learn more, and know that there are other women out there who won't give up. Thank you for your web site and keep up the good work. – Panther Dear
Panther, I'm glad you like this site and hope that you've many others that are feeding your imagination as you prepare to realize your dreams. As my Oma once told me in regard to having accomplished certain things in my life, "this they cannot take away from you." Know that your resolve is already something to be greatly proud of and I wish you the best in the coming year. I can't wait to see a picture of you and your first bike . . . I'll be here when you're ready! – Mama Wednesday, April 27 For petite Meli who is looking for riding gear: I have had help from you Petra, so it is my time to help others (by the way, I work in a bike shop now and have been riding every nice day). Meli, there are lots of small size clothes for lady riders. Go to your local bike shops and see if they carry ICON apparel (Motovan is one catalogue that does). They have a a Tuscadero line and a Kitty line of women's apparel. None that will fit me as I am a BBW. Check all the bike shops and ask to see the apparel catalogs . . . even if they do not carry the apparel they should be able to order it for you. For Panther who is battling the odds to realize her dream and passion for riding: Panther, if you want an online Mentor, email me. I would love to be there for you. I was lucky and had strong minded Mama and Pops who were there for me. Now that they have passed on I would like to be able to pass on what they gave to me. v45magna@gmail.com Keep on biking ladies no matter your age, or what people say. We are Women . . . hear us ROAR. – V45Magna (note from Mama: it's always way cool when women learn from this site and then become helpers themselves!) Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
jeLaline, I think for many women it's not so much that they are starting to be interested, but that they are realizing a dream that they may have been thinking about for some time, but I'll let them tell their own reasons why they decided to become a rider! – Mama Wednesday, April 27 More for Too Young to Wanna Give Up, who at 52 thinks people think she's crazy for riding: Hi! Never to young or old! I just want to say to hell with what people think. All that matters is that you are doing what you want and enjoying yourself. I'm 50 and starting riding last October. I get all kind of reactions, usually from the people that never would ride, they bring up all the fear factors. I try to cut the conversation short with these people . . . too negative. Just remember you won't be one of the people saying " I wish I would have." The saying, "You go girl" seems fitting... – Vivian, V-Star Rider (note from Mama: absolutely!) Thursday, April 28 For Diane who commented on being too old to ride: Sounds a lot like me. I had a small bike for a little while in the 80's until my boys wanted to ride. I have always wanted another bike and after retiring last summer put it on my "to do" list. It is the only thing on that list that has gotten done. I got the license the end of January on a Virago 250 and have already jumped to an '05 V-Star 650 classic (no Harley money yet) and ride, ride, ride. I will be 58 in June and will ride even when I have to put the training wheels back on! What independence and freedom it brings. I also bicycle an obsessive amount (10,000 miles last year) and that provides the same feelings-only twisting the hand grip is much easier than turning legs. – Lynn (note from Mama: this is a great letter of affirmation . . . we NEED to keep believing in ourselves!) Dear
VTwin Mama, There was one other younger gal - 22 or so. We both looked at each other, I winked and I said out loud , "I think you all have been living with your mothers too long." Broke all the crap in the room. The evening went fine from that point on. Very funny how some still are in the year 0005. Thanks for your cheerleading and website. – Kathy H. Dear
Kathy, Sunday, May 1 For Kathy who found a humorous way to handle oofs: I would like to say Bravo Kathy! for the remark she made during her rider course. Damn that was good! More for Marge whose boyfriend kids her about the pecking order for Harleys and Hondas: Also, regarding Marge with the SO that wants her Honda way behind his Harley, I hope that's just a joke made in passing. We were told in the rider course that two bikes in formation tend to look bulkier, and two headlights in close proximity is easier for other motorists to see, kind of like a car. (!) A group of staggered bikes is even more obvious. Then there's the situation where one bike goes through an intersection and a left turner tries to squeak in a turn before the second bike goes through. If this guy was serious, he obviously has little or no concern for his SO's safety, and no common sense IMHO. Driving, like riding a motorcycle, is a privilege, not a right, and those with little common sense have no business being on the road in control of ANY vehicle. If I'm putting along having a good ol' time and I get too far back from my husband, he bugs me about it. I get irritated, but I know he has my best interest at heart. We RIDERS have to look out for each other and egotistical games have no place out there on the road. Come on guys, grow up already. Respect goes both ways. – Linda C. (note from Mama: you've reminded us of serious points why riders shouldn't be too far apart at any time . . . thanks!) Thursday, May 5 For jeLaline who is wondering what the appeal of riding is for women: I was
kind of coerced into riding. Before my husband bought his bike and
wanted me to start riding with him I had ridden pillion on a bike a whole
sum total of 3 times – one of those times the driver dropped the bike
(even at a slow speed through a gas station it was petrifying – AND
painful!) and another time was with a driver that was showing off how
‘fast’ it could go – I believe he might have had it up to 90 or so;
I don’t remember clearly – my eyes were squeezed shut and I was
screaming my head off. Needless to say, I didn’t get back on a
motorcycle for over 20 years. When my
husband asked me to go on that first ride I didn’t want to disappoint
him and refuse flat out, but my nerves (and muscles!) were so tight I
probably made it twice as tough for him – I know now from taking my own
son riding pillion behind me that having the rider tense up makes the bike
feel VERY different! I was so stiff and scared I don’t believe I
enjoyed much of anything about that ride – at least during the first
several miles. He had a passenger backrest and gave me my first good
advice – to lean back and let the bike move me the way it needed me to
go; that and to look over his shoulder in the direction of the corners we
were going around. I had been informed before that I should be
‘leaning’ with the driver and had been scared of that, too. My
second and subsequent rides were more relaxed and much more enjoyable!
Eventually I began to get real pleasure with riding and then began to feel
that I could do this too! Once I got that idea, it took off; I had
always been one of those people that wanted to ‘do it myself!’
Two years after that first ride with Hubby, I took the MSF course and
bought my own bike. Been riding a little over a year and have over
8500 miles logged! I love riding my Valkyrie as much as I used to
love riding horses; but without that huge expense of feed! Of
course, the motorcycle cost what a reasonably good dressage horse could be
had for, but gas is much less expensive than hay, feed & board!
Not to mention that lessons on horses just keep continuing – you can
never get so good that there isn’t someone out there that can show you
something better – and they aren’t afraid to charge an arm and a leg
for the service, either! On the bike, $100 paid for the class and
everything else has been experience! And the bike has never offered
to bite, kick or stomp on me – it did fall over once, but that was my
fault. I won’t even go into the stalls that I don’t have to muck
out anymore. Then there are the people. Bikers are such a wonderfully diverse group of personalities. I feel welcomed by all of them; I just can’t say enough about them. That ‘biker wave’ explains it so well – just that common understanding between two riders of the love for the open road; the wind in your hair; yes, even the bugs in your teeth; the chances we take with drivers in cages; the stopping to help a total stranger sitting beside his broken down machine with his helmet in his hands. The grins, laughs and jumps to help when a bike falls over from neglecting to put down the kickstand; the more serious jumping in to help however they can when a fellow rider has gone down and left family behind or has hospital bills they can’t pay. I was a person with a very low regard of human nature until I met these people I call friends and riding buddies. My faith in human nature has been restored. All because of this ‘sport/hobby’ you called it. Call it whatever you like; it’s my joy – my freedom - my life. – Amy in Washington (note from Mama: you have taken many early negative experiences and turned them into an incredible story of "can do" and "want to do." WOW! Here's my electronic biker wave to you!) \\\\_ Friday, May 6 Dear
VTwin Mama, My husband just bought me the sweetest little 250 Yamaha Route 66 . . . VTwin. I have been out on it several times and actually feel pretty comfortable on it. My skills are all coming back, but not so much that I'm cocky about it. I ride with my daughter who has an 883 Sportster and she is very helpful at giving me riding tips, but I still want some actual classes to make sure I know what I'm doing out there. Actually it's not my riding I'm worried about as much as the others out there on the road that just take for granted that I know what the heck I'm doing, therefore I needed to get some resources. I ordered the DVD for Lady riders. I'm looking forward to learning a lot from it and I am looking forward to all the helpful hints I read on your site. Bikes aren't just for boys!!!!!!!!!! – Jan Marshall Dear
Jan, Wednesday, May 18 Dear
VTwin Mama, Most all of the advice I've been given comes from men and would really like to hear what advise or comments you might have to help me on my newest adventure? – Valerie Dear
Valerie, Dear
VTwin Mama, So it began. Long story short, course taken (slow and scary....eek!) course passed. Fully legit. Bought bike. But, COULD I DO ANYTHING RIGHT? Krikey, NO!!!! Everything was wrong. Still is, even after one year of riding with hubby. Nobody else seems to have a problem with me but every time, after every ride, an issue occurs. He hates that I don't stay side by side with him. He hates that I don't do 140 kms. He hates that he feels he has to keep me in his mirrors and watch me all the time . . . it just keeps going on and on. And now I hate to go on rides with him because I HATE HOW MUCH HE HATES DOING THIS. I've taken the safety course and I refuse to ride side by side in perilous situations. Plus, I know that riding in formation is the best life security we could ever have. He's a Harley guy and things need to "look" right. This is really testing our marriage. I hope we can get over this - motorcycling is something he's been doing for years and I'm new. Yet, all I've been taught tells me he's just not riding right. What do I do now? We've been married 27 years. – scotka Dear
scotka, It's true that the most highly skilled riders will ride side-by-side at cruising speeds, but under no circumstances should a new rider do this. Even the best of riders know that the staggered formation is safest as it gives everyone more "outs" if something goes wrong. I have ridden with such experienced riders who would ride next to each other, while the less experienced would trail in stagger formation. When a group rides, it is the responsibility of the leader to keep his/her group in site at all times and for the tail gunner to assist any rider that drops back for whatever reason. So your training is spot on and don't you veer for any reason no matter how much yelling might happen. YOUR safety depends on it, and ultimately YOU are responsible for your own safety. Ok, but what to do? I'm thinking you need to temporarily separate your riding time from your husband's. It's time to find your own group to ride with. Your use of kms to describe speed tells me you're not in the U.S. most likely, so I'm going to point to the WIMA (Women's International Motorcycle Association) organization . . . women riders with representation worldwide. More women's riding groups are listed on my Women's Sites page. I realize that your husband may not be any more pleased with you peeling off on your own to join your own group, but the bottom line is, you want to ride. You've got a right to explore your own dreams and if he has his group, gosh darn it, you'll get your own too! The bottom line is that not everyone's riding style matches another's. Case in point . . . I dislike riding from Point A to Point B just to get there. I prefer to ride on back roads, going slowly, and absorb the beauty that Mother Nature lays before me. That's what I like. So, I steer clear of rides that are purely distance driven or challenges like the Iron Butt rides. I fully support riders who choose these types of rides, but know that they are not for me. I have the courage to say so and stick with it. Now it's time for you to do so as well. – Mama Saturday, May 21 For scotka whose husband isn't cottoning up to riding together even after a year: You guys have been married for 27 years! Congrats to you and I wish you many more. Your going to have to stand your ground on what you want or just stop listening to him. There is a saying I hear when a lot about riding a motorcycle: Ride your own ride. I ride a lot with my Husband. We have different skill levels and we ride together. He has been riding on and off for 20 years. I have been riding for less than 1 year. What he is comfortable with I may not be. Tell your husband to ride his own ride. If that don’t work then tell him you will ride your own ride without him until he can straighten up. I hope this helps and don’t stop riding. Just stop listening to him. I would tell my husband I wasn't going to listen to him telling me what I should be doing if that's not what I wanted to do. We have only been married for 17 years. Good Luck. – A Lady Rider in California (note from Mama: straight forward advice . . . ) Dear
VTwin Mama, I would like to ask if anyone has had the dilemma of being sentimentally attached to her (or his) first bike? I got my license and first bike (Honda 750 Shadow) 2 yrs. ago at age 50 after taking the class and passing the first try (a miracle since I had never been solo on a bike AND had never driven a standard transmission). After 7200 miles, I am longing for a bigger bike and have my heart set on a Kawasaki 1600 Mean Streak. Let me tell ya, when I saw it for the first time, it just called my name. I sat on it and it was a perfect fit. Pulled right up just as pretty as you please with a low center of gravity. Everything I have read about this bike is superb. However, I get heart-sick thinking of someone riding off on my first bike. – Pat Jones in Houston, TX Dear
Pat, If you do need to cash it in, then give the bike it's last loving care from you . . . change the oil, etc., clean it to a high glean, make her ready for the next owner. Maybe the next owner will be a woman . . . keep in touch with her! Definitely make sure you have pictures of you and the Shadow. To do this day I cannot believe I don't have a single picture of my first bike. How could this have happened?! Oh well . . . I've documented my next two bikes and will do so with my upcoming fourth bike. I even went so far as to have a professional photographer take pics of me on my third bike and have them group framed in my office. Every time I look at the pics I remember the happy times we had together. That should help your transition! – Mama Dear
VTwin Mama, It makes me feel so much better to know that there are other women out there having the same problems and fears and feeling the same excitement as me. I still have several letters to you printed in my saddlebags so I can read them when I feel afraid or discouraged. It is nice to know that we have a place to vent, especially in a world where the old timers feel that the only place for women is on the back of one of their bikes! Thanks again. – Catherine Dear
Catherine, I distinctly remember going to the Harley dealership my first time (and this was my third bike!) for a part I needed. There I was, with the part wrapped in a shop rag, walking up to the counter with all these grizzled veteran men riders and I was scared . . . to look foolish, to be ignored, etc. Well, I just gathered my courage and I got the job done! But that experience, along with many others . . . and the realization that there was nothing else on the Internet quite like my concept . . . made me understand that many of us (women and men) could use a kind word, a helping hand, and a safe place to ask our questions . . . with as much or little anonymity as needed. Do you know that when I created VTwin Mama, I honestly thought the questions would be totally about problems in relationships and money issues and such! And yes, we address those issues, but so much more! Yup, even my byline was different . . . originally it was "VTwin Mama is here to set someone straight." Just how silly is that?! Well, as readers started coming to the site, that quickly changed . . . and collectively we forged the path that led to an honest exchange of thoughts and ideas. WOW! – Mama Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
Penney, Now, remember to take pictures of you and the Rebel as it's fun to document your beginnings, and if you want a little "fame," email it in and I'll get it posted on the homepage and photo gallery! On a side note of interest, you said in your "how I found the VTwin Mama site" line that you typed in "women on motorcycles" in a search engine and found it. I was curious to see how far down the hit list my site was, so did the same thing . . . to find my site the number one listing! What's even more interesting is that the description of my site are not my words, but a review of my site by someone else who was linking from their site to mine (I saw it once, but don't remember whose, but remember thinking, "what a great write up!). So there you have it! – Mama Thursday, May 26 For Pat whose getting a new, bigger bike but is sentimental about the one she learned on: When I read Pat's post, I had to respond. I recently got a new bike myself. I had a Virago 750. As VTM said, I didn't want her to languish away in the garage unridden, so I put an ad in the paper. The first 2 calls I got on her were guys, sounded kinda young. They asked about how fast she could go, was she a big bike, guy stuff I guess. But right after I ended the calls with them I told my husband "I can't sell her to that guy! He won't take care of her". I was fortunate with the third call: a lady, getting back into riding, looking for a bike that wouldn't be outgrown too fast. A friend of hers told her not to waste the time, the bike was a 1995 and would be a wreck. She decided to come out, fell in love with my baby, and purchased her a week later. She fawned over my baby so much that I dropped the price a little (without being asked), because I wanted her to go to a good rider. And her friend, who ran a bike shop himself, assured me she would be very well taken care of. So no, it's not silly to want to keep your baby. You took care of her, you rode her 7800 miles, she was your first. Just cuz you are selling her doesn't mean you have to sell her to just ANYONE. As a side note, I did put in my ad that the bike was female owned and kept; I think that attracted the lady who bought her. Take your time, find the right rider, and you won't feel so bad. As a side note, my 6 year old daughter (and my favorite riding buddy) was very upset when we sold my bike. She made me ask the lady who bought it to promise she would take good care of her. Of course, the lady reassured her the bike would be babied just as she was with us. That made my daughter feel a lot better : ). Good luck with things, and hope the new bike is as good as your current one! Take care, – Julie (note from Mama: thanks for reassuring Pat that she's not alone in feeling sadness at letting her first bike go. That's an interesting twist on listing your bike for sale and I'm glad to hear how it all turned out. Your side note on your daughter's response brought a smile to my face . . . it looks like we have a solo woman rider in the making!) Thursday, June 2 For Catherine who noted some men think a woman's place on a bike is as pillion: I had a good chuckle last week - I took my bike in to the local bike shop to fix a problem with my throttle. When I pulled up to the service bay, two of the mechanics were sitting there taking a break. And when I pulled up to a stop next to them on my Volusia, and shut down my bike and took off my helmet - the younger guy (looked to be about early twenties) said, "I would have never in a million years expected you to be riding THAT bike!" I just smiled and asked him to look at my throttle please. I too love it when men don't expect to see us (women) being able to manage our own bikes. Ride on ladies!! – Dana V. in Apple Valley, CA (note from Mama: keeps them on their toes! I love your understated, yet very clear response . . . smiling in a knowing way can be louder than words!) Dear
VTwin Mama, I am a child psychologist and I ride a beautiful V-Star 650. I work with abandoned and abused children on a daily basis and a few I end up taking into my home in a foster care situation. I have an incredible 8 year old little girl in my care who we shall refer to as Zena (because Zena warrior princess is her all time favorite show). Zena has suffered the most horrific abuse from the adults in her life and she came into my life and home with smiles, laughter an many behavioral problems due to her environment that would have broken most adults. I promised to help guide her and keep her safe while in my custody. During this time we became close as mother and daughter (no she is not up for adoption at this point) could ever be with me showing her many first. She had never eaten an apple or had a picnic in the park, all of these things we take for granted she had never had in her life. At the same time I also had a 15 year old foster boy that I had been working with closely. To my horror and absolute pathetic attempt to make things right for these kids, he sexually abused my beautiful, of mind and spirit Zena girl. The guilt, pain an absolute heartbreak for both of us has been unimaginable. I failed to keep her safe and she once again became the victim of male abuse. The shining glory in all this nightmare has been what Zena and I refer to as riding therapy!! We live in a very rural area with not much traffic, Zena has fallen in love with the motorcycle. She is always wearing a helmet and protective gear and as the wind dries our tears and mends the damage that has been done to our bodies and souls, we are slowly recovering from this ordeal. There has been nothing better for us than just getting on the motorcycle and riding for hours and hours, she has to point out everything from the setting sun to fields blooming with sunflowers. She doesn't want to go anywhere unless it's on the bike and she is relentless, wants to know all about how it works and runs and is in charge of fuel control. She takes the utmost care in fueling the bike and not spilling a drop on the paint job. We have matching purple camouflage outfits that draws more attention than one could possibly imagine in a rural farming community that has no female riders. The message I wanted to impart was what an incredible therapeutic journey riding motorcycles has played in my life and the life of an 8 year old girl. Concerning the incident, she states "don't cry my motorcycle mama, if I had my own bike or could have run faster, he would not have hurt me." Some may criticize for having children on bikes, but I believe that if utmost safety measures are followed there is no reason to deny this majestic, life altering experiences from our children. There is no doubt Zena will have a lifetime love affair with motorcycles. Her favorite phrase is "We are Zena warrior princess strong and kick boy butt." The motorcycle has given us both peace and joy and the ability to believe in ourselves as strong, resilient females that can survive anything!!!! Please, if there is any message I can impart, it is riding motorcycles is so much more than a recreational activity, but an emotional life long love affair. – PurplePony Gal, still wiping away the last residual tears Dear
PurplePony Gal, Wednesday, June 8 What a wonderful letter about Zena. Sad, but too often true. I did some fundraising work for abused and neglected children a few months ago and boy did it open my eyes to a world that is shut out. Just a thought . . . maybe we should do a VTwin Mama Ride for The Kids with the inspiration of Zena behind us?! In several cities on the same date so everyone can join in around our country?! Wouldn't hurt to try. Thanks for an uplifting story to a bad situation. Love to Zena and more power to ya honey!!! – Kathy H. (note from Mama: an excellent suggestion for future consideration . . . meanwhile, for those readers that belong to a riding organization, this might be something you wish to put together on the local level to benefit an area shelter, if it's not being done already.) Dear
VTwin Mama, What I wanted to say was I am a dedicated rider of many decades (ouch!) and my partner is learning to love biking (Vulcan VN800) as she develops skills and confidence. Your site has advanced this process no end and she has gained an enormous amount from all the contributions -- to the extent she's starting lecturing me! No bad thing I guess. Now I'll get back to the boys before you throw me out, but I just wanted to say a big thank you to you and all your ladies. Your posts have and continue to enhance my lady's riding pleasure and confidence. Ride safe all of you, and God bless. – The Growler Dear
Growler, Friday, June 10 I think Growler showed a lot of class in writing that letter. His lady is fortunate to have a riding partner unselfish enough to see the bigger picture. This will benefit them both in that the lines of communication are open and sometimes it's that one small bit of information learned that can ultimately save a life. – Linda C. (note from Mama: I agree!) Saturday, June 11 Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
Bex, Sunday, June 12 Dear
VTwin Mama, Thank you again for your encouragement and your response to my email a couple of weeks ago over Memorial Weekend. I know I risk being over my skis having chosen a VStar 1100 Silverado as my first bike. I decided if I couldn't handle it, I would park her for a couple of months and buy a used 250cc bike, then sell or donate that to a school. You mentioned to send a picture of the my new pride and joy, so here it is. Thank you for sharing in my growth and excitement. Many people say they are interested, your interest in others is genuinely heartfelt. I hope you don't mind, here are some updates for you (oh goodness, where do I start!). So far, I am doing ok on the bike. I have modified the bike to increase my ability to maneuver her. Almost all of these ideas were reinforced by reading your website and reading the links and articles you provide. Thank you! I decided a few things were immediate changes I would make to increase my ability to handle the 640lbs and size of the bike. 1) Put on a Lindy bar. Figured it won't do much in a crash, but if it helps a little to protect the engine, couldn't hurt. Plus I preferred the look better than the oval look of the other bars I looked into. 2) Last Thursday the 2" DT Barons Pullback risers were installed. Work great. Would love a little more pullback, but would have to change out the lines, so this is enough for now. A friend who has the same risers did most of that install for me. 3) I ordered a the PCS Lowering Kit and a Motorcycle/ATV lift from Harbor Freight. (thanks for pointing that one out as I'll be needing a lift in the near future!) The lowering kit from Pacific Coast Star arrived in a few days. I highly recommend these people. They are kind, helpful and not one bit condescending when I asked a lot of questions. I decided to go ahead and order the "Original" seat from PCS which should lower me down another 1 or 2" without further changes to the suspension. Inexpensive as seats go and the testimonials were outstanding. I can't wait, it will be a few weeks to receive the seat. 4) Ordered Motorman's How to Ride Like a Pro and How to Ride Like a Pro for the Ladies DVD's. Also ordered the Street Strategies series of DVD's. Very helpful. Worked on some of skills in the small lot near me. 5) The lift finally arrived this week ( the directions aren't the best but I finally figured it out). It is a great lift for only about $70! Easy to put the bike on the lift by yourself. It is the yellow one if you go to the Automotive section on their website. Not a huge lift so it won't take up a ton of space (important where I live!). I had a friend come over to help me install the Lowering Kit and we ran into some trouble. He had to leave, so I tried again the next evening after calling PCS for some suggestions. Ends up we were on the right track (we had the bike on the lift and the floor jack under the swing arm but couldn't get the pressure off the back tire). PCS suggested put the floor jack under the rear tire. Bingo, worked perfectly. I did this by myself! I got the original dogbones off and replaced with the new kit. 6) Prayed for nice weather so I could take try her out this morning. Yeah, very hot but a nice and my first windy morning experience. I loved how the bike handled being lower to the ground. I am not going fast enough to know if it will bottom out, but so far I just love it! I felt so much safer with my feet closer to the ground along with the handlebars being closer. Now I really can't wait for the seat to arrive. I now understand why so many people complain about the OEM seat on the VStar's. Yikes, I couldn't figure out why my left 'side' was uncomfy after about 45 minutes. The seat looks more comfy than it is! Help is just a few weeks away. The bike reacted and felt just as my friend described it feels in the wind. Was good to experience that. My neighborhood has an annual Art Festival which means absolute nutty crowds and roads where I have been practicing the past couple of weekends were blocked off. I headed out at 6:30am and made my destination the place where I took the motorcycle class with Ride Chicago. I went over grated bridge for the first time (I asked a friend if it was going to be scary riding over the grates and told me to let the bike finds its way and it did exactly what he said). Now I know what that feels like. When I circled back, I decided to get on Lake Shore Drive since the speed limit is lower than the expressway (well, supposed to be anyway!). It was scary, but I got on and off the next exit, circled back did it one more time. 5) Last but not least, made my first blunder this morning. I stopped before riding up my garage ramp (steep and curves). I stopped to call the garage attendant to ask him to open the doors for me so I could get up in one shot vs. stopping in the middle of the incline for the bike to trip the garage door opener and have to wait mid hill/curve for the door to open. A guy walked up and started talking to me and told me about how he lost his nerve, how a lady didn't see him and brushed his leg when he was going 75-80mph. Ok, why do people insist on telling you all of their bad news! That happened yesterday too! I didn't ask! He left and I headed up the garage ramp. I didn't give it enough throttle (I think I blanked out and didn't give it any!) and I stalled her mid incline. Yikes. I grabbed the brake and clutch. Stalled her when I tried to throttle/clutch to advance. I almost decided to back down. Then I did it again and made it up the ramp. Hindsight, I should have gone around the block once to clear my head after the guy told me his bad experiences. I lost my focus on top no doubt being tired after riding about 1 1/2 hours and still being new to this. I know things are going to happen. I hope none that will be noteworthy. That is a risk I am choosing to take and hopefully minimize. I think a lot of mistakes are two- fold. I need to assume the other person is going to do something dumb, doesn't see me. That doesn't mean let fear paralyze me. It means be calm and don't let the other ding dongs get under my skin. When I get tired, stop and go in. I think if I am alert and let things go when dumb things happen, I will minimize the bad things. People have been telling me about their bad experiences. I wonder how much training and practice and dedication to learning about how to be as safe as possible they invested in themselves. And finally, the picture. Oh, I am the girl, ha ha. The guy is Chris from Ride Chicago (taken this morning). Brad and Chris own and operate this business. I hope a lot of people find their way to this school. From my experience, they were hands down better than MRS in my area. They were thorough, didn't cut corners and explained so much more and we rode so much more with very little waiting in lines. I am so glad I decided to take the class again, even though I had passed the M License test after my course with MRS. I really shouldn't have been passed in my opinion. I feel I would be ready to pass the test (on a 250cc that is!) if I were to take it now. I am so thankful for all of the comments in your website. I felt compelled to share my experiences as you have pulled together a network of people who help people like me who find your site. I am 44 starting all of this and feel like a kid with so much fun and learning ahead of me. Most Sincerely, – Sandra Dear
Sandra, And yet, despite everything, some lessons are only learned by actually riding. In many cases something will happen and the light bulb goes on and it's, "yeah, now I know what that person was talking about." I was particularly intrigued by the man who felt it necessary to share his negative experiences. Yes, it can be disconcerting but brace yourself for more of it, in any number of variations. Having a few choice phrases at the ready is helpful. "I'm sorry to hear about your experiences." "You are entitled to your opinion." "I am capable of making my own decisions and judging the risk." "That's your opinion but this is my choice." All done with a smile and then move on! I find it useless to debate the person's issues . . . they are set in how they feel and there is no way to sway them from it. It shook you up that time, but you'll be ready when it happens again. Your point about getting too tired and stopping before you totally lose focus is also excellent. This applies to any rider. Getting from Point A to Point B is useless unless it's done safely, and riding conditions, traffic level, and any number of factors play into this decision making process. You're doing good VTwin Mama sister . . . hope you've had your first biker wave already . . . but if not, the joy of that will put such a smile on your face, you just won't believe the joy! It's all part of being a motorcycle rider! – Mama Tuesday, June 21 Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
Chrystal, For over four years, the VTwin Mama site has been by labor of love. I draw no salary for the tremendous hours I dedicate to the work . . . and funds generated by Google ad clicks, affiliate programs, VTwin Mama logo wear, the subscriber Newsletter, and the like help defray the cost of all the incurred costs like web hosting, telephone bills, supplies, and such. I never shy from pointing out useful sources of information and/or products if they do not have these programs in place. And here is your letter, letting readers know that you enjoy working with a specific supplier located in Merced, CA. Thanks for writing in and giving me the opportunity to talk about some of the realities of a site like mine. It's been my labor of love for a reason . . . each letter brings information of interest to the readers and we get to share. Yahoo! – Mama Thursday, June 23 Get your hankies ready for this one . . . it's priceless! Dear
VTwin Mama, I never considered this possibility and that she would end up passing easily. The next day as we drove out together to get her endorsement she tells me "Dan (her boyfriend) can't believe I got my endorsement before him. He's taking the course this summer and is getting a bike." Dad now goes into protective mode. I raised my daughter to be independent and I want her responsible for her own safety. I don't care if she dates a biker but by God she will ride beside him, not behind him. Three days later I found and bought the exact bike she had been on, a cobalt blue 2003 Rebel with 800 miles on it for $2,300 with helmet. This will probable be the last summer we have together and I want to ride with her so after 35 years of paying for my endorsement with no bike to ride I bought one for this summer to ride with her and to give to her when she completes the Advanced Riders Course. It's an absolutely perfect 1999 Honda Shadow VLX 600 with 7000 miles for $3,200. The Rebel should be for sale in late August with less than 3000 miles I'm guessing. The reason I'm telling you all this is because I've been reading and learning so much from your site. It is the reason I followed through not only with the Rebel, but the VLX 600 as well. I will now be turning my daughter over to you and the people here to further her "biker" education. Thank you so much. – Scott Ritchie (Jess's Dad) Dear
Scott, I'm glad you found the VTwin Mama site and that it made a difference in both your lives! I know you're going to enjoy the moments riding together this season and also am hoping that there are many more seasons to come (yes, daughters grow up and sometimes leave, but they almost always come back!). My own Mama still likes to take a spin on the back of my bike now and again and I already have my new neighbor across the street (I'm moving tomorrow!) asking if I'd take her for a ride . . . she's a senior citizen and hasn't ridden in 30 some odd years . . . but would like to experience it again! It just goes to show you . . . life is to be lived! What an excellent letter to get . . . you made my day! – Mama Wednesday, June 29 Dear
VTwin Mama, My husband and son on the other hand won't look at bike without one. My son is an MMI graduate, worked for a Harley dealership for about a year, and is now setting up his own shop. For Christmas this year he gave me a certificate for a MSF course. I figured there was no way out of this so I signed up to take the course in May (I live in NH). I had a lot more fun with the course than I allowed myself to believe I would. The last day of the range part of the course my husband surprised me with a used Buell Blast. Needless to say, I now have to split my "two wheel" recreation time between those with motors and those without. The funny thing is, I'm the only one in the family right now with a working bike! I've spent a lot of time looking for information on riding and I really appreciate your website. I've contacted a few of the mentors and have gotten some great support. Women bikers seem to be every bit as great as women cyclists! – Judi Dear
Judi, Thursday, June 30 Dear
VTwin Mama, Dear
Fran, Thursday, June 30 Hi
VTwin Mama, Well, I finally did that, and I made it!!!! I took the long way to work and out of less traffic. I guess when I go into the traffic, I go by my gut instincts and there are some areas that I know that I am not ready for at all!! I am still going on my permit but I like the restrictions I have for a permit. I know what my instincts tell me on getting on the interstate and that there is no way am I ready for that and won't be for awhile. We do a lot of practicing and I also talk to my boyfriend if I am ready for those next steps and thankfully on those talks, I have learned so much from him!! But you know the most important thing that I have learned is . . . never ever give up . . . RIDE MY OWN RIDE!!!!! And another thing -- wooo hooooooo, I am so very proud to be riding a motorcycle!!!! A letter from the next day: well yesterday I wrote in and told you about going by my gut instincts but you know what, I didn't do that on Sunday. Needless to say, I went out riding and ended up in the ditch with my bike. The ride started out as a beautiful ride but the winds were a little stronger then I was used too. We were on the way home when I went to make the left turn and the wind gust came up, I tightened my hand on the throttle and tried to turn. Needless to say, it was a snap decision if I was going to end up on the highway or the ditch, so I chose to stay with the bike. I ended up under the bike but I wasn't hurt too bad (beside my pride). I sprained my arm and got some ditch rash but got up on my own. A man who was turning the same corner came running to my rescue and my boyfriend and he lifted off the bike. But I knew when I stood up, I needed to get back on. And that is what I did! The man offered to drive it home but I knew if I didn't get back on it, I probably wouldn't get on it again. And I made it home safely. When I pulled into the driveway, my wrist gave completely out and I dropped it but I did make it home. I bent my clutch a little but nothing else had happened to the bike. I had to get back on it -- I had worked so hard to get this far. I have trust in my bike and now can recognize the things that have went wrong and now can totally learn to correct those!! So, if anyone ever dumps their bike -- my advice is to get back on when you can -- don't be afraid -- keep going and ride your own ride!!!!!!!!– Debi Dear
Debi, |
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